


Addicted to You

by louissolos



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Drug Use, M/M, Possible Mpreg, druggie!zayn, if you guys want it, larry stylinson - Freeform, liam is a sweet heart, niall is a single pringle, oh and theres smut, one direction - Freeform, side lirry turns to side larry, sorry bout that, that's about it, zayn also is under age and a druggie for the first few chapters, ziam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-03-22 23:41:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 48,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3747592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louissolos/pseuds/louissolos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn Malik: Seventeen-year-old drug addict who sleeps on the park bench every night. Greasy black hair, tan skin, multiple tattoos. Abandoned by family.</p><p>Liam Payne: Twenty-year-old bachelor, who every one knows and loves, men and women alike. Shaved brown hair, pale skin, clear skin. Family oriented. </p><p>What do these two boys have in common? How will they learn to deal with each other? Will Zayn change his ways? Will Liam reveal his dark past?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ONE

The normal reaction to seeing a rugged man sleeping on a park bench is to throw a few bucks at him and hope he spends it on food – not alcohol or drugs – and the next common reaction is to walk away. Not to walk right up to man dressed in ripped clothing and ask if he’s okay or if he needs a place to spend the night. 

When the man rolled over on the park bench his back cracked painfully and the young couple walking by winced and picked up speed in hope to get away from the man. Maybe if they had looked closer and cared more they would have realized the man lying on the bench wasn’t in fact a man, but a teen, his eighteenth birthday only in a few months.

The cold autumn air blew over London causing the boy to shiver violently and pull his faded black trench coat he had bought a few weeks ago at the local thrift shop for a few bucks, the money he should’ve spent on something more important in his mind.

Crystal Meth.

The drug had controlled his life since he was just sixteen. He had discovered it a house party and couldn’t stop. The second he took the first snort of the powder he became so attached. It was a monster.

Maybe if he had been more careful about where he snorted or left the needles because the second his mom found out he was dropped on his arse into homeless streets of London. He’d been sleeping on the same park bench for nearly two years now and the longer he stayed on that bench the less people noticed. His body quickly thinned and his face became ghostly. His already sharp features on his face became shaper and more defined. But he still couldn’t stop abusing the illegal substance.

When he was abandoned by his family he only had the shirt on his back and a few bucks he’d been saving for more of the power. He was lucky enough to have a good dealer who let him have some of the drug if he’d do some of the dealing for him and not get caught.

But that only was good until last night when he was so ill he couldn’t do the drug run and Josh, his supplier, came after him. He knew right where to find him, curled up on the bench. He reeked of body odor and sickness but Josh didn’t care. He had grabbed the poor teen by the collar of his shirt and began the assault.

He started by punching him in the stomach to knock the boy to the ground and began attacking the once beautiful boy’s face, splitting his lip and bruising his eye. The boy didn’t even try to fight back; he just lay on the ground and took each punch, each kick and insult until finally they stopped and Josh ran away into the night.

By the time Josh was done the boy could no longer feel his right shoulder, which he had fallen onto when he was dropped to the concrete and his face was swelling and bleeding. Everything hurt, but the boy didn’t care, it wasn’t the first time.

But something felt different about this, like it would be the last time something would happen for a while, but the boy couldn’t figure it out before he faded into darkness.

When the boy woke the next morning he was pleased to find a few bucks were tucked into his bag and smiled, maybe he would get to pick something up from the McDonald’s dollar menu today. When the boy tried to get up his face contorted in pain, but nobody cared to notice the groans from the boy.

The boy had decided he needed to clean up so he quickly tucked the few bucks in his coat pocket and made it to McDonald’s to use the bathroom to shower and clean his cuts. He liked the McDonald’s bathroom because they were single person so he could take as long as he pleased. The first thing he did was shed his shirt and jacket so he could rinse off in the sink and change into his spare black tee shirt. Once he finished he splashed water in his face to clean off the blood stains and take some sweat off his face. Lastly he used the bathroom and made sure he still had all his possessions before walking up the counter and ordering a small Sprite and two hash browns. By the time he got his order his stomach was growling evilly.

This was going to be his first meal of the week.

The boy quickly ate before dragging his feet out to the park to see what he wanted to do today. He couldn’t get high because he had used up all his powder the day before. He sighed knowing he couldn’t go a full day without the substance in his blood flow. The rugged boy sat down on his bench and held his face in his hands, he doubted Josh would let him split some meth now, he’d let him down so often now a days and he had said if he slipped up one more time it’d be the end of him working for him. And he used up his last chance last night.

The boy just curled into himself, careful of his sore shoulder, and fell back asleep.

\--

“I’ll see you later, Lou! I have to get home, don’t want to be late tomorrow morning,” Liam Payne said as he paid his bill at the town diner to his best friend.

“Okay, but be careful walking through the park at night, it’s not very safe. All the homeless and drugies hang out there,” Louis advised as he wiped down a booth at the diner and stacked a few plates in the bucket he was pushing around. 

“Will do, I’ll have to have you meet Niall tomorrow when his flight comes in. Christ, the only flight he could get in from Ireland was going to land tomorrow at eight in the morning, and I have to pick him up,” Liam sighed as he put his wallet in his back pocket.

“Well, have fun. Text me if you want me to come over. Be careful,” Louis smiled as he finished cleaning the tables and wiped his apron before giving Liam a bro hug.

“See you later mate!” Liam said patting Louis on the back before heading out of the diner. Louis waved through the glass window as Liam. It was particularly cold night and Liam wished he hadn’t walked but brought his car so he could be in the warmth. He wrapped his waist coat tighter around his body before heading into the park to get to his house faster.

Liam noticed there was a vast amount of men dressed in black scattered around the park, some sketchy transactions of items in hands so Liam kept his eyes at his feet. Liam heard sniffling coming from near him and he looked up, fully expecting to see somebody snorting some illegal substance but instead he saw a boy, probably not even legal yet, huddled on the bench shivering.

He didn’t even realize he was walking towards the boy with jet black hair until he was tapping on his shoulder. Immediately he was met with deep gold eyes framed with thick black lashes.

“Are you okay?” Liam asked as the boy sat up slowly and winced when he went to move his arm.

“’m fine,” The boy responded and Liam took the chance to take in his features, no doubt he was an abuser, his features all outlined prominently, his hair seeming thin and lifeless. He also noticed his plump lips were split and cracked and his eye had a ring of black surrounding it.

“My name’s Liam,” The brunette said holding out a hand. The boy looked up at him and pouted his lips.

“Nice to meet you,” He rasped out.

“What’s your name?” Liam asked wanting to be able to match the beautiful face to a name.

“Zayn,” The boy answered as he nervously picked up his backpack off the ground and placed it on his lap.

“I’m not going to hurt you, you know. Why are you out here anyway? Aren’t your parents looking for you? You seem very young,” Liam quizzed and Zayn put his face in his hands, his stubble rasping harshly against his hands.

“My parents kicked me out,” Zayn said and Liam sighed.

“Well it’s really cold out tonight and you seem relatively harmless, do you want to spend the night at mine?” Liam asked. Louis would kill him if he knew what he what he was doing right now.

“It’s okay,” Zayn replied as another gust of wind came along and he shivered.

“There wasn’t an option, you’re coming home with me,” Liam said sternly, frightening Zayn slightly. Liam held his hand out for Zayn to take, which he did cautiously. He earned a few glares form the men around the park as Liam pulled him close and walked him farther and farther from the park bench, which he had called home for nearly two years.

Maybe this was a good thing, Zayn thought, maybe this is an opportunity to finally change his ways.


	2. TWO

“You can take a shower if you want. I can get you some spare clothes and bring them in for you,” The brunette spoke showing Zayn around his house.

Liam’s house was huge, literally. It was made of red brick and had ampule ceilings that went up two levels. From what he’s shown Zayn so far, there were two bedrooms on the first floor and four on the second. All bedrooms had Jack and Jill bathrooms. The kitchen was what struck Zayn the hardest. It had dark granite counters with mahogany cabinets with a large kitchen island with high stools around it.

“You can take one of the spare bedrooms. My bedroom’s on the second floor, first bedroom on the right,” Liam said before patting Zayn on his back making him gasp out in pain.

“Shit,” Zayn cursed holding his shoulder in agony.

“Whoa Zayn, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Are you okay?” Liam asked franticly as Zayn’s breathing became forced and he bit his lip.

“Damn it,” Zayn cursed again before letting his shoulder go and groaning.

“Why don’t you go take a shower so relax your muscles, take as much time as you want. Just don’t put your shoulder right under the water,” Liam said sympathetically.

“Yeah, um thanks,” Zayn said before walking to the first floor Jack and Jill bathroom and closing the door.

“There should be a towel in there,” Liam called from the kitchen. “If you want me to wash your clothes, I can. Just leaven them outside the door so I can wash them for you.”

“Okay,” Zayn called back. He turned to the shower and put it on nice and warm, causing steam to cover the bathroom. Zayn smiled. This was going to be his first shower in months. He carefully striped himself from his ratty black skinny jeans before taking his cheap coat off and resting on the floor next to his jeans. He turned to look at his reflection in the mirror and sighed. He struggled to take his shirt off without moving his left shoulder too much. He winced slightly when he moved his shoulder slightly. His eyes bulged as he took in his nearly naked reflection.

He didn’t remember being that skinny. You could easily count his ribs and his hip bones jutted out sharply. His tattoos were tight against his body. His eyes went to his face where he saw his split and chapped lips and his cut eyebrow and black eye. Josh had really got him good. His eye went to his shoulder were he groaned. It was an angry black and blue that went all around his shoulder. Zayn doesn’t bruise easily.

He sighed before quickly ridding himself of his boxers before grabbing the pile of the floor and placing them outside the door before quickly closing it and hopping into the shower.

Zayn let out a shaky breath as the warm water hit his body. A smile stretched across his face as he turned and see the soap and shampoo. He quickly grabbed the body wash and squeezed some onto his hand before rubbing his skin soothingly in circles. When he finished washing his whole body he quickly rinsed himself and got his hair damp. He rubbed some shampoo into his black hair before rinsing it clean and turning the water off. He didn’t want to use up all of Liam’s hot water.

Zayn stood in the shower for a few more moments, the water slowly dripping down his body, before stepping out onto the bath mat and grabbed the towel. He quickly dried himself and then wrapped the towel tightly around his waist. He went to get redressed when he remembered Liam had taken his clothes to the wash.

In hope that he wouldn’t have to have Liam see his horrible, drug addict body, he opened the door and looked at the ground in hope to see his clothes on the ground. He had no luck.

Sighing, he ran his digits through his damp hair before heading upstairs to find Liam. Zayn knocked on the first door on the right. Liam answered questioningly.

“You don’t have to knock,” Liam said with a smiled before the grin fell from his face as he took in Zayn’s body. “Zayn,” He gasped pulling the boy into his room. Zayn withered into himself trying to cover his boney body from Liam’s sorrowful eyes. “It’s worse than I thought.”

Liam sat Zayn down on the edge of his bed before walking to his dresser and came back with a pair of tight black boxers. “Put these on,” Liam said handing them over before turning around and closing his eyes.

Zayn stood up carefully and let the towel drop to the floor and he quickly pulled the boxers up, which were still loose on his narrow hips. “Okay,” Zayn whispered so Liam could turn around.

It was weird for Zayn, he’d only met the boy a little over an hour ago and he already was standing in his boxers in front of him.

Liam approached Zayn carefully to make sure Zayn was okay with it. “When was the last time you ate?” Liam questioned, gently poking at Zayn’s ribs.

“Um, a day or two ago,” Zayn rasped as Liam grabbed Zayn’s hand and stretched it out. There was obvious bruising and little pin needle markings at the crease of his arm. Zayn closed his eyes so he couldn’t see Liam’s disappointed eyes.

“You’re too young to be this way,” Liam drowned in pity. “Too young.”

“I’m sorry,” Zayn murmured before turning his head and opening his eyes.

“How bad does your shoulder hurt?” Liam questioned moving his hands to gently lift Zayn’s left arm.

“Yeah, it got beat pretty well when I fell,” Zayn winced as Liam gently pressed a finger against the bruised flesh.

“Sorry. I hope you didn’t fracture it or something. If it still hurts in a few days, I’ll take you to the doctors,” Liam said and Zayn stiffened.

“Who said I was staying here?” Zayn huffed.

“Me. You’re skin and bones, Zayn! I want to help you, please,” Liam pleaded as he held Zayn’s hand tightly in his own.

“As long as I’m not a burden,” Zayn whispered and Liam smiled halfheartedly.

“You’re not a burden. I just want to see you happy and healthy and have some meat on your bones, please,” Liam begged.

“Okay…” Zayn agreed with a huff before looking down at his body. “Can I borrow some clothes? It is winter, you know,” Zayn teased with a smirk.

“Of course,” Liam smiled as he walked over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of baggy sweat pants that had a string to tighten them around Zayn’s hips and an old t-shirt. “Here you go,” Liam smiled as he handed the items over. “You should probably head off to bed. I have to pick up my friend, Niall, from the airport at eight for his flight. I want you to come with me to keep me company on the long ride,” Liam said making Zayn blush slightly.

“Okay. Thanks, Liam, for everything,” Zayn said gratefully.

“Anytime.”


	3. THREE

“Zayn?” Liam called the next morning, fixing his white button-up shirt so it was tucked into his jeans. The brunette knocked on Zayn’s door softly before sighing and just walking in. He fought back a yawn as he walked over to Zayn’s bed and gently nudged Zayn’s good shoulder. Zayn let out a groan before opening his eyes and sitting up.

“Oh, hi,” Zayn yawned as he stretched uncomfortably. “What time is it?” Zayn asked as he threw the warm blankets off his body and Liam glanced at his watch before saying,

“Nearly six thirty. We have to be at the airport for seven thirty so I brought some clothes to wear and we can stop for breakfast after we pick up Niall,” Liam said placing the clothes at the end of the bed. “They’re going to baggy on you, but I picked out nice warm clothes seeing it’s supposed to snow.” Liam smiled before walking out the room, leaving Zayn to get ready.

Liam walked to the living room and pulled his phone off the charger before seeing he had gotten a text from Niall right before he boarded the plane reminding him he was coming, like Liam would ever forget. He grabbed his wallet and pocketed it in his back pocket before walking to the coat closet and grabbing his black winter fleece and a tan, puffy jacket for Zayn to keep his fragile, bruised, malnourished body warm. 

By the time Liam was back in the living room, Zayn had joined him dressed in Liam’s clothes.

“I think they’re a little long,” Zayn attempted to joke and Liam sighed before walking over and rolling the sleeves of the sweater up so the rested at Zayn’s wrist.

“I have another jacket for you,” Liam said grabbing the coat off the couch and handing it too him. Thankfully, it fit Zayn better seeing he had a thick knit sweater over his skin and bone body.

“Thank you, Liam, for everything,” Zayn whispered before hesitantly wrapping his thin arms around Liam. Liam’s breath hitched and he gently enveloped Zayn in his arms.

“It’s no problem,” Liam smiled, unconsciously rubbing his nose through Zayn’s dull locks and inhaling the scent of his shampoo and Zayn’s earthy smell. Liam ended the hug after a few more moments with an awkward cough. “Erm, we should probably head out. If you want to stop and get something after the airport we can, I’m sure Niall won’t mind.”

Zayn nodded, knowing he didn’t want to get anything. Sure, he needed to get some things, but he didn’t like free loading off Liam. Liam slipped on a pair of tennis shoes over his sock clad feet.

“Ready?” Liam asked shrugging on his jacket with a black beanie before turning to see Zayn nod. Liam motioned Zayn to go before him so he could lock up. Zayn uncomfortably stepped out onto Liam’s front steps and walked to the bottom before waiting for Liam to walk beside him. Liam smiled at Zayn before nodding towards his newest toy, a black Range Rover. Zayn gawked at the car, he’d always wanted one, and clumsily climbed into the left passenger’s side. Liam quickly started the car and pulled out of the driveway and took a road onto a highway.

“I forgot to tell you, my friend, Louis’, coming over tonight to welcome Niall back. He’s, um, he’s very loud and he’s too tough for his body. If he says anything to you, please ignore him, please. He’s quiet tempered and filled with sass, just block him out if he says anything rude to you,” Liam says guiltily.

“Okay,” Zayn replied, fiddling with the cuffs of Liam’s jacket.

The rest of the ride was pretty silent besides the soft echo of the radio. When they finally pulled up to the airport, Liam flicked off the radio and turned to Zayn.

“Probably should’ve found something to hide the bruises. They’re pretty nasty, man,” Liam smiled and Zayn bit his lip.

“It’s fine,” Zayn whispered before unbuckling and climbing out of the car. He stood at the rear of the car; his eyes cast down, until Liam slowly got out of the car and walked over to Zayn.

“Look, Zayn, I didn’t mean it in a rude way. I just don’t want people staring. If Niall asks you, just ignore him, okay?” Liam whispered soothingly into his ear. Zayn’s lips stretched into a tight smile before he pulled the edges of the coat down so they covered his hands.

“Thank you, Liam, for everything, really,” Zayn shivered, walking close to Liam so he could help his tiny body warm up. Liam noticed and wrapped his arm around Zayn, pulling him to him as they entered the airport and took the elevator to the second story where the flights came in from.

“The flight board says his is on time,” Liam said, guiding him to the chairs while they waited. It was nice and warm in the landing lounge, so Zayn had no reason to continue shivering. Lucky for him, Liam had released him as soon as they were seated and he was too busy playing some app on his phone to realize the tremors that shook Zayn’s tiny body.

An announcement came over the loudspeakers saying the flight was landing so Liam put his phone away and turned to Zayn. “Ready to meet Niall?” Liam asked excitedly and Zayn nodded, trying to stop the quivers that flowed through his body.

It seemed that the more Zayn thought about it, the worse they got, so he tried focusing on a family with a little girl and boy playing around and chasing one another. He smiled softly, they looked so happy and normal. He hadn’t realized the little girl had noticed his staring and had toddled over.

“You got hurt spots!” She exclaimed, pointing to Zayn’s face. He tried to keep a smile on his face and not care that they were the first thing she had noticed about him.

“Yeah,” Zayn creaked out, clearing his throat.

“You should put a pretty on them! See mine’s a princess one!” She pointed to her elbow where she had a Band-Aid. “My brother pushed me off the swing at the park and my mommy put this on it!” She smiled at him. Zayn smiled genuinely; maybe the little girl was only trying to help, trying to meet new people. Just when Zayn went to respond, the girl’s mother came running over.

“Bella! You do not talk to strangers! You know better, especially somebody who looks like him,” The mother barked out, making Zayn feel like utter shit. Zayn hated it, how people judged one another on looks, not caring to get to know somebody and see the real them. They didn’t know a single thing he had gone through in his seventeen years of life! Zayn cast his head down, trying to stop the glares people shot at him, staring at his battle wounds like he was dirt.

The mother pulled the girl, Bella, away from him and made her sit down and stop talking. Zayn took his bottom lip between his teeth and began chewing on it, not bothering with the pain he felt were it had split less than a day before.

“Zayn?” Liam asked gently, nudging his shoulder. “Don’t listen to a thing they said.”

Zayn nodded, staying quiet, he felt the shakes coming back and he sighed. He knew what they were from. He wasn’t cold, in fact he felt slightly hot all bundled up in the heated room filled with people. He knew what it was because he had felt it multiple times before, but now he didn’t know how to fix it.

It was the effects of withdraw coming in. He hadn’t had the illegal substance in his blood flow for nearly thirty-six hours and they effects were starting to kick in. Any other time he would run to Josh, begging for something to make the pain stop and Josh would give him just enough to get by. But know he was out of the park, out of that lifestyle and he knew it would be extremely hard to sneak out of Liam’s mansion to go to the park, so he knew he would feel like shit. He’d seen what happens to people suffering from withdraw, and it wasn’t pretty. People would go mad for the substance, they would get seriously sick. That was why people don’t stop things cold turkey, it was dangerous.

Zayn was pulled out of his trance when he heard Liam shout, “Niall,” and he quickly stood up from his seat and ran towards a boy with bleached locks and pale skin. The boy’s face lit up and he sprinted towards Liam, his bags behind him.

“Liam! It’s so good to see you, mate,” The lad said with a thick Irish accent. Liam smiled and pulled him into a friendly hug before turning around.

“Ni, this is my friend, Zayn. He’s staying with me so they’ll be three of us in the house,” Liam said, gently patting my good shoulder. Zayn carefully looked up to make eye contact with Liam’s friend. When he did he heard him let out an involuntary gasp and took a step back.

And then Zayn felt like shit again.

He quickly shifted his eyes downward as Liam turned to Niall and scowled.

“Don’t you dare judge him,” Zayn heard his threaten in Niall’s ear, trying to speak softly.

“No, it’s fine. I’m obviously not good looking. Judge all you want. You don’t even know me, I don’t care,” Zayn found himself saying.

“Zayn, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to react like that. I swear. It’s just, you look pretty beat up,” Niall smiled at Zayn, holding his hand out to give him a handshake, “I’m Niall.”

“Nice to meet you,” Zayn mumbled, standing up. He smiled softly at him and turned to Liam, “Can we go eat? I haven’t eaten at all.” Zayn hinted at the fact he didn’t have time to eat last night and he hasn’t eaten for a few days before that.

“Yeah, Li, please? All I’ve had a peanuts and water the whole morning,” Niall chimed in.

Liam nodded, “Of course, where do you want to go?”

“Is Lou at the diner?” Niall asked excitedly.

“Um, why don’t we go somewhere else for breakfast,” Liam said, noticing Zayn wrap his arms around himself self-consciously. Liam had told him Louis wouldn’t treat him nicely. Liam knew Louis wasn’t working yet, but he also knew he would be waiting for the text telling him to come over.

“Oh, okay, how about we go to McDonald’s then?” Niall asked and Zayn nodded.

“Yeah, let’s go to McDonald’s,” Zayn agreed, looking up at Liam for a nod.

“Okay, let’s go back to the car and go eat then,” Liam smiled, putting an arm around both Zayn and Niall, walking between them.

They decided to take the stairs, seeing the line for the elevator was insane. When they got to the car, Zayn politely offered Niall the passenger seat, which he accepted with a smile. Zayn climbed into the back seat and buckled up. The boys decided to go through the drive through so they could go home and relax. They all had ordered an obscene amount of food before Liam paid and they took off back for Liam’s house.

Zayn felt his body start to shake again as they pulled up to the house. They decided to leave Niall’s bags in the car to get them later so Niall grabbed the food bags and hopped out of the car.

Just when Zayn went to get out of the car, he realized something.

There was another car in the drive way and a boy was leaning casually against the driver’s side door.

“I thought you were going to text me when you picked him up, but when I didn’t get a text, I decided to come over and wait for you two to come back,” The boys said cockily, opening his arms to welcome Niall.

“Louis! I missed you so much!” Niall smiled, wrapping him in a tight hug. Liam stood uncomfortably to the side as Zayn quietly got out of the car, trying not to attract attention to himself. Liam looked at him nervously before Zayn closed the car door and Louis looked up.

“Who the hell are you?!”


	4. FOUR

Liam felt his blood run cold as Louis stared harshly at Zayn. Niall seemed so confused, hadn’t Louis met him before? Surely he must have, right?

“Louis-” Liam started, moving in front of Zayn, who cowardly withered into himself, but was cut off by his friend.

“Who the hell is he, Liam? Where’d you find him? Dear God help me if you walked through the park last night when I told you not to!” Louis sneered. He took in Zayn’s rugged appearance; his bottom lip busted open, a black ringer circling his eye, cuts and bruises covering his sharply defined face. “You really can’t mind your own business and just go home can you! I’m trying to help you! People like him won’t help you, they only take! Listen to me, Liam, I know what it’s like living with somebody like him, I’ve done it before, remember?”

Liam’s face dropped. Louis wouldn’t, not in front of poor Niall and Zayn, would he? He wanted to keep his past where it belonged, behind him.

“That has nothing to do with him! How dared you judge him based on appearances! Zayn did nothing to you!” Liam screamed back, frightening both Zayn and Niall while Louis just shook his head and angry fisted his hair in his shaggy locks.

“I’m trying to protect you! Please tell me you didn’t let him sleep in your house last night, please. You barely know anything about him! How could you, you only found him, what, no more than twenty-four hours ago?” Louis groaned, pulling his hair roughly and walking up to Zayn threateningly.

“I swear to God, if you do anything to harm my friend is anyway, I will end you,” Louis spat in Zayn’s face.

Zayn tried to remember what Liam had told him earlier, to ignore the insults. But for Pete’s sake, he spat in his face and threatened him! But still Zayn stood there, not even moving an inch or trying to wipe away the spit that covered his face. He was shaking again, even worse seeing it had started to snow like Liam had said it would.

“Leave him alone, Louis,” Liam pulled his shorter, but well-muscled, friend away from the helpless Zayn. “Don’t you dare threaten him! He isn’t even eighteen yet!” Liam all but screamed before angrily grabbing Zayn’s hand and pulling him up to the door steps and situating him on the couch.

“You let him sit on your furniture?!” Louis screamed, following the pair into the house, Niall coming in last and closed the door before walking to the kitchen to reheat his meal.

“Why wouldn’t I? He’s a person, you know!” Liam screamed back, not caring if he disturbed his neighbors anymore. “Zayn, please go to your room, I’ll have Niall bring your food up to you,” Liam turned away from Louis and smiled at his new friend. Zayn nodded softly before quickly standing up and shuffling to his room only a few doors down.

“He has his own room now? I swear if you met him last night, I’m going to flip shit,” Louis bellowed.

“So what if I met him last night? I’m trying to help him!” Liam screeched back.

By now they were screaming so loud at each other Zayn could hear everything crystal clear from his room. His head was starting to pound evilly from both the volume of the fighting and the lack of drugs in his blood flow. He sat down on his bed stiffly and stared at the wall as they continued the yelling.

“I don’t want him to influence you! You know what I’m talking about!” Louis shouted back, following Liam as he walked into the kitchen to grab Zayn’s food. He quickly heated it up and asked Niall to bring it to Zayn. Niall nodded and quickly left the room. He brought it to the room Liam told him and saw Zayn staring blankly at the wall.

“Um, Zayn?” Niall said, bringing his attention towards himself. “I brought you your breakfast,” He said with a small smile. He gently placed the meal next to him on his bed and gently patted his back before leaving the room again.

The yelling had picked up again, the insults being spewed louder and louder until Zayn couldn’t take it anymore. He picked up the breakfast sandwich Liam had bought him and took only two bites before setting it down on his bed again. He was hungry but he knew if he ate too much too quickly he’d get sick. He quickly stood up and shed Liam’s coat and warm pullover and left it on the bed before pulling out the close he had worn for the last few months; the black t-shirt and trench coat. He decided to keep the sweat pant Liam had loaned him on, seeing it had started snowing and there was already a few inches forming on the ground.

Zayn quickly grabbed the few dollars he had, and counted them. If he got to the park around now, his friend would be there. Surely he would let him buy some meth without telling Josh. He quickly pocketed the cash and slipped on his shoes before slowly opening the bedroom door and making a dash for the front door.

The screams were making his pounding head throb as he quickly walked past the kitchen, where the boys were all standing. Zayn slipped out the front door and took off running towards the park. The park was only a few blocks away from Liam’s mansion so he had no trouble getting there.

Zayn cursed as he entered the park, he should’ve kept Liam’s jacket, it was bloody freezing out. He quickly shuffled through the few inches of snow to find his friend’s bench and wait for him. Luckily, his friend was there and he quickly picked up the pace.

“Sandy! Sandy, please I need your help!” Zayn said his body shaking as he ran up to his friend.

“What’s up Zayn? I haven’t seen you all day!” Sandy smirked, “I saw you leave with that posh dude last night,” He teased.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Look, I need a favor. Josh will kill me if he sees me again so please tell me you have some extra,” Zayn begged. He quickly grabbed his friend’s leather jacket and pulled it towards his shivering body. “It’s been more than a day and I can’t get any from anyone else. I’ll pay you double.”

“Whoa, Zayn, it’s fine. I just got mine earlier, how much you got?” Sandy asked, pulling three tiny bags out with a mirror and razor.

“I have sixty,” Zayn let go of his friend and quickly pulled the money out and thrusted it in Sandy’s face. “Please, I need it, my head is throbbing and I can’t stay still. I know it’s not a lot, but please do me a favor, you owe me one.” Zayn was practically in tears by now. His hair was covered in snow and he nervously smiled.

“Of course Zayn. I’ll just buy some more from Josh later. Do you need any tools?” Sandy opened his jacket and gestured a few mirror, razors, and needles.

“I just need some in me,” Zayn whimpered.

“Here, take a needle, you’ll feel the effects faster,” Sandy said handing it over along with the three baggies. Zayn smiled widely at his friend before thanking him and running off to his park bench.

He quickly prepped the drug and yanked his jacket sleeve up and injected it into his blood stream. Almost immediately Zayn’s headache faded and he smiled. Soon after his shaking stopped, he stuffed the two full bags into his jacket pocket with the needle. He smiled down at the half empty bag between his fingers. He was broke now and no way of getting any money so he had to make it last. He shoved the tiny bag into his pocket with the others and sighed.

He let his eyes flutter shut and smiled.

“Well look who’s back,” Sneered an all too familiar voice.

*

Back at Liam’s house, the two boys were still fighting.

“Do you realize how he could affect you? He would kill you in your sleep and rob you of everything!” Louis roared, getting up in Liam’s face.

“He’s not like that!” Liam fought back, pushing Louis out of his personal space.

“How would you know? You barely even know him!” Louis was furious. How could his best mate be so stupid?

“Go to hell, Louis!” Liam snapped back, turning to Niall and offering him a small smile. “Why don’t you go grab your stuff from the car and get yourself at home? Any room is fine,” Liam said softly to his Irish friend. Niall nodded at him before quickly scurrying out of the house.

“Don’t try to change the subject! Please tell me you at least know his name, his full name I should say,” Louis was livid by now.

“I-I- his name is Zayn and he’s seventeen and his parents kicked him out,” Liam huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What’s his full name? Oh wait! You don’t even know!” Louis jabbed at his younger friend.

“I just want to help him. He seems like a sweet guy, just he got lost somewhere and took the wrong path,” Liam exhaled thinly.

“Oh so now you have a crush on him?! You don’t even know the guy! What about Harry? You know your boyfriend? Does that ring a bell? How do you think he’d feel if he knew you were keeping a guy at your house?! Just because he’s not in town right now, doesn’t mean you can play him! I’m his friend too!” Louis screeched. The front door opened and closed indicating Niall was back inside.

“Any room is fine!” Liam shouted to his friend. “Don’t bring Harry into this. You know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt our relationship!” Liam turned to Louis.

“I-” Louis was cut off when Niall came running into the room with a panicked look on his face.

“Zayn’s gone, he’s not in his room and he left your clothes on the bed. He’s not in the bathroom, I don’t know where he went,” Niall huffed out, making Liam immediately run from the kitchen.

“Zayn! Where the hell are you! I told you not to listen to what he said about you!” Liam screamed opening and closing all the doors in his house in search of the poor lad. Once he realized Zayn wasn’t there anymore, he fell to the ground in a pile of ugly sobs.


	5. FIVE

“Liam, mate, I’m sure he hasn’t gone far. Please stop crying,” Niall said as he sat on the tile floor of the kitchen next to Liam. Liam just sobbed harder.

“I just wanted to help him! I wanted to make his life better while he still had time!” Liam sobbed sadly before his expression completely changed as he laid eyes on Louis. He angrily climbed onto his feet and got up in Louis’ face, “Then you come and ruin everything!”

“Liam, I’m sorry mate! I was trying to look out for you. I don’t want you to have to go through what I went through with-” Louis started.

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence! You know I hate when you bring that up! Why are you such a dick! It’s fucking freezing outside and Zayn’s out there!” Liam cussed, causing both of his friends to gasp. Liam never, under any circumstances, swears. Ever.

“Mate, do you have any idea where he could’ve gone?” Niall butted in before any violence could come up again.

“I don’t know,” Liam whined, “I saw him first at that park. He was sleeping on one of the benches but I doubt he’d be there. He’s not that stupid.”

“We can always go and search. Come on, let’s go get bundled up and head out,” Niall said, pulling Liam to get him moving.

“I’m not going,” Louis said stubbornly.

“Louis, come on-” Niall started only to be cut off.

“I don’t care if he comes. It’s not like he’d help anyway,” Liam snapped before grasping Niall’s hand in his before pulling him out of the kitchen to the coat room to get their coats, hats, and mittens on before tying their shoes securely to their feet before heading out.

“Bloody hell,” Niall cursed as he saw the inches of snow on the ground had nearly doubled in the time since he brought his bags in.

“Let’s head to the park first. Maybe somebody had seen him recently,” Liam said immediately leading Niall in the right direction. Liam pulled his jacket closer to his body before remembering Zayn had left his jacket on the bed. “You take that half. I want to find him quickly,” Liam stated and Niall nodded before heading off.

Liam immediately approached a man sitting on a bench. He knew Louis would kill him for talking to more strangers but he needs to find Zayn. Something about the tan skinned boy had drawn him in o quickly, begging him to help him.

“Excuse me, sir,” Liam asked gently. The scruffy older man looked up at him and humfed. “Have you seen a boy about yay high,” He gestured Zayn’s height with his hands, “He’s got tan skin and black hair. His name is Zayn,” He asked sounding desperate.

“Sorry man, but no. I was just waiting for my buddy to come. I just got here. Hope you find him soon, though,” The man smiled a crooked grin and Liam smiled softly before nodding and walking towards where he knew he had found Zayn the other night.

Liam’s shoes were caked with snow and seeing he had just worn converse, his feet were getting soaked and cold. By the time he got to the empty bench he could no longer feel his toes. He let out a child-like whine when he saw the bench empty but there were clearly indents in the snow proving someone had sat on it.

His eyes traveled to the side walk where he saw clear foot prints and from the way it looked, it seemed there had been two people. Liam’s heart dropped.

What if the guy who beat him up found him and beat him and left him somewhere?

What if somebody gave him drugs?

What if he was kidnapped?

Liam’s heart beat picked up as he quickly followed the foot prints down through the park all the way to a cross walk where they disappeared. It seemed a plow had come out and cleared the streets of snow, erasing all evidence of Zayn’s and the stranger’s foot prints.

Niall must have had no luck where he was looking because next thing Liam knew, Niall’s arms were around him and pulling him close.

“We’ll find him, Liam, don’t worry,” Niall soothed. “Why don’t we go warm up in that coffee house so that I can feel my nose and ears again,” Ni suggested as he pulled Liam across the street and into the coffee shop.

*

Back at Liam’s house, Louis sat on the living room couch watching some crappy daytime re-run as he scrolled his tumblr dash at the same time.

Right after Liam and Niall left, Louis began to feel guilty. Not for scaring Zayn away, but for hurting his best mate.

Louis sighed as he reblogged a funny cat gif before turning his phone off and climbing off the couch. He looked out the window and saw it a snowing heavily and there had to be nearly eight inches on the ground. He silently hoped Liam and Niall would hurry back.

He thought back to less than an hour ago when Liam was crippled with sadness on the kitchen floor. Louis doesn’t know what made him do it, but he quickly switched off the tv and grabbed his coat before heading out into the freezing London weather.

He had heard Liam and Niall talking about going to the park in search of Zayn. Of course, Louis was only attempting to look for Zayn to make his friend happy for now. Nobody can stand a sad Liam seeing he shows his emotions through his eyes. His eyes would seem to double in size and he’d pout and cry and it was unbearable.

Seeing his mates were at the park, he decided to walk towards the diner to see if he searched over there. Louis walked quickly through the snow in hopes to find him soon so he wouldn’t stay out in the snowstorm for too long. Louis searched the park from the other side of the road hoping to see Niall or Liam somewhere to see if they had found him somewhere. But when he didn’t see either of them he sighed and walked further, checking alleys and sheltered walkways in hope of finding the reason for Liam’s distress.

Just when he was about to turn back to head back to Liam’s house, he heard somebody whimpering close by.

“Zayn?” Louis questioned as he walked up to the next alleyway. He peered down the dark walkway and saw somebodies shoes sticking out behind a dumpster. “Um, hello?” Louis called again as he cautiously walked down the footpath to the beginning of the dumpster.

“Liam,” He heard someone whimper and Louis quickly walked to the other side of the dumpster to see Zayn curled into himself, a pool of bright red blood next to his head.

“Zayn, man, what happened to you?” Louis asked and Zayn looked up at Louis terrified. He stayed quiet, occasionally letting out a whimper as silent crocodile tears fell down his face.

Louis slowly crouched down next to Zayn and noticed Zayn’s thin jacket was soaked with blood and he was shaking. “Zayn,” Louis whined as he carefully pulled his beaten body under a small lean-to so he was away from the cruel wind and out of the snow.

“Hurts,” Zayn blubbered before fresh tears filled his eyes and he carefully wrapped his arms around his torso. “Want, Li-Liam,” He whined like a small child, showing his age.

“It’s okay Zayn,” Louis lied; he knew for sure something was wrong, there was so much blood. “I’m going to call Liam and Niall and have them come help, okay?” Louis continued as he pulled his phone out his pocket.

“What do you want?” Liam sighed when he picked up.

“I found him,” Louis stated simply.

“What?! Where? I need to see him, bring him back to my house-”

“I can’t, he’s hurt. We’re in an alleyway. It’s right past the diner,” Louis said and Liam quickly thanked him and hung up.

“So cold,” Zayn shivered a harsh gust of wind.

“You shouldn’t have left,” Louis snapped harshly. He immediately regretted it as Zayn’s face fell and he left out a loud sob before crying harder.

“I-I’m sorry,” Zayn cried as he tried to wipe away his tears.

“Look, I’m going to go stand at the end of the pathway so Liam can find us faster, okay?” Louis turned on his heal and walked away before Zayn could protest.

Louis immediately saw Liam running towards him with Niall behind him and pulled him down the alleyway.

“Zayn,” Liam cried as he took in his appearance.

“I’m sorry,” Zayn whimpered as Liam quickly sunk to his knees behind him.

“Why did you leave?” Liam asked and Zayn breathed deeply before responding.

“I don’t want to be the reason you and Louis stop being friends. I don’t have any friends and I don’t want you to have none because of me,” Zayn rushed and Liam gaffed before wrapping his arms around Zayn.

“Louis and I would never stop being friends, we bicker all the time. He’s like my brother, he always looks out for me,” Liam explained and Zayn nodded.

“Hurts,” Zayn whined as Liam rested him back against the ground.

“I bet. Do you want me to take you to the hospital or do you want me to try to patch you up. I might be able to fix you up pretty well. I’m used to taking care of Har- never mind. I’m good at patching up scraps and cuts,” Liam smiled softly.

“I don’t like hospitals,” Zayn answered simply and Liam nodded before taking his jacket off and wrapping it around Zayn’s fragile body. Zayn was too tired to protest so when Liam picked him up and cradled him close he just snuggled close to him and his eyes fluttered closed.

“You have to stay awake. I’m going to give you a hot bath after you warm up so clean you up,” Liam smiled softly as Zayn frowned and rested his head on his shoulder. Niall and Louis stood behind them on the sidewalk.

They made it back to the house without anyone seeing them because all the smart people were staying inside during the storm. As soon as they entered the house, Zayn clung to Liam tighter.

“I’ll go start the bath for you,” Niall smiled as he went to the Jack-and-Jill bathroom.

“I ruined your shirt,” Zayn sighed as he pulled his head off Liam shoulder to see fresh blood on his gray shirt.

“I have plenty of others,” Liam soothes him as he grabs a blanket from the closet and wraps it around Zayn as he rests him on the couch.

“Liam, I have to head to work. I don’t want to be late. Text me if you need anything,” Louis said as he gave Liam a bro-hug and left the house.

“The baths done,” Niall came out from the bathroom, “I’ll be unpacking my things if you need me.”

“I’m sorry for ruining your first day,” Zayn blushed and Niall shrugged.

“Never a dull moment here,” Niall smiled before heading upstairs to the room he picked.

“Let’s go get you in the bath,” Liam grinned as he helped Zayn stand.


	6. SIX

“Do you need me to help rinse you off?” Liam asked as Zayn struggled to shed himself from his clothes. Zayn dropped the blood stained clothes to the floor, standing in his boxers before turning to Liam and blushing deeply.

“Would you?” He asked softly and Liam smiled.

“Of course. You can stay in your boxers if you want,” Liam stated and Zayn looked up at him gratefully.

“Okay,” Zayn said and Liam carefully wrapped his arm around Zayn, making him flinch.

“Sorry,” Liam quickly apologized before he felt his hand become slippery and he quickly let go of Zayn, making him wobble. “Shit, Zayn, why are you still bleeding?” Liam cursed as he turned to look at Zayn’s left torso. His eyes landed on a deep gash oozing blood. “Let me grab a towel,” Liam panicked as he quickly grabbed a fresh washcloth and applied pressure onto Zayn’s injury.

“Ahh!” Zayn cried out as he tried to move away from Liam’s touch.

“Zayn, if I put you in the tub now the water would be dirty in seconds. Let me try to stop the bleeding, okay,” Liam tried to sooth as he carefully knelt down in front of Zayn and continued to apply pressure to his gash while soothingly rubbing his thumb over Zayn’s prominent hip bone.

“I’m sorry,” Zayn whispered, tears in his eyes.

“It’s no problem. I can fix you up,” Liam said as he pulled the cloth away from Zayn’s body and dropped it in the wicker hamper, his thumb continuing to rub Zayn’s hip bone.

“No, that’s not what I meant. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and then I go and nearly get myself killed,” Zayn whimpered as Liam carefully picked him up and rested him in the tub. His cut was still bleeding, but Liam didn’t want the hot bath water to run cold.

“You wouldn’t have died, Zayn. The cuts don’t look too bad, whoever did this probably just hit a vein or something,” Liam tried to calm Zayn.

“No, Liam, he had a knife. I don’t really know if he used it or not, I-I was shooting up when he found me,” Zayn chocked on a sob and Liam’s eyes grew wide. “I’m sorry, I’m so stupid.”

“Zayn, I’m not mad at you. I know it’s not easy coming off an addiction. But know that you mention a knife. I think your attacker might’ve used it. But it doesn’t look terrible, really. I have some medical supplies I can use to patch you up,” Liam smiled, wiping Zayn’s fallen tears with his thumb.

Liam lathered his hands with some soap and rubbed Zayn’s frail body quickly seeing the water was getting cold and carefully washed his hair, not knowing where the bleeding earlier had been coming from. Liam carefully searched Zayn’s head for any major cuts but found none. He remembered being told that even a small cut on somebody’s head and bleed like crazy, so Liam didn’t worry too much. Liam quickly rinsed Zayn off before helping him stand and wrapping a towel around his nearly naked form.

“Thank you, Liam,” Zayn blushed as Liam took him bridal style into his arms and carried him out of the bathroom.

“No problem, Zayn,” Liam smiled as he walked Zayn up to his bedroom on the second floor and rested him on his bed. “I’ll grab you a dry pair of boxers to wear so you can change when I go to get the medical supply kit from my bathroom,” Liam stated as he walked to his chest of drawers and pulled a new pair of boxers out of the package and handed them to Zayn. The dark haired lad smiled kindly in thanks before Liam left the room, but not before Zayn noticed him crank the thermostat up.

Zayn struggled to take his heavy and soaked boxers off seeing he could only use one arm (his right shoulder had been hurting him since the attack). As quickly as he could, he striped himself of clothes before picking up the loose, plaid, cotton boxers on just as Liam walked in with the first aid kit.

“Sit down on the edge of my bed. I’ll make you all better,” Liam smiled kindly, placing a hand on Zayn’s back to guide him over. “It’s going to sting, but I want to make sure it doesn’t get infected,” Liam said once Zayn was seated on the bed. He pulled out Neosporin out of the tube and smeared it all over and around the slightly wound, fearing it would get infected. Once he made sure everywhere was covered, he took out a large piece of gauze and placed it over the gash. To keep it in place he put some medical tape on the corners. “All done.”

“Thanks,” Zayn sighed before shivering.

“We might want to get you dressed,” Liam stood up, fastening the latch on the first aid kit as he did.

“Okay. I’ll go get my clothes from the bathroom and head back to my room for a while. I need a nap,” Zayn smiled shyly before walking out. Zayn quickly walked to the bathroom and grabbed his coat and sweat pants before walking to his room. He carefully closed the door behind him and walked over to the bed. Zayn waited a couple seconds, making sure nobody followed him, before quickly digging into one of his pockets and grabbing the three tiny baggies containing his problems.

Zayn thought for a second, where was the safest place to hide this? Before he realized his nightstand would be too tempting and obvious. Seeing there was only a two draw dresser he walked into the closet attached to his room. It was nearly the size of the bathrooms and his eyes bulged. He quickly found an empty shoe box Liam must have abandoned and put the drugs into it along with the needles and razor he had with him.

He wanted to appear perfect to Liam.

He quickly placed the shoe box on one of the top racks before throwing an unused blanket over it. Zayn quickly left the room, carefully lying down on the queen sized bed. 

He shifted a couple times before getting comfortable lying on his left side, all injuries out of the way, before falling onto a deep sleep.

 

 

When Zayn woke up, Liam was gently shaking him, telling him it was dinner time and he was to eat. Zayn grumbled something unintelligible back at him before climbing out from under his thick blankets. He immediately felt bare when he realized he didn’t have clothes to change into. Zayn blushed before looking up at Liam bashfully and said, “Can I borrow some clothes? It’s actually cold.”

“Of course, Zayn. Come on, I don’t want you getting sick,” Liam grabbed Zayn’s wrist and gently pulled him along with him to his room where he handed him a baggy pair of sweat pants and a plain shirt with an oversized flannel. Liam helped Zayn change into his clothes, he was aching more since his nap, before leading him to the kitchen.

Niall was sitting at the table with a bowl in front of him. Steam swirled from the bowl, making Zayn’s stomach growl.

“I hope you like chicken noodle soup,” Liam smiled as Zayn sat down. Zayn nodded, mesmerized as Niall blew on a spoonful of broth and steam piped off the soup. Liam placed a medium sized bowl in front of Zayn with a round soup spoon. “There’s plenty extra if you want more. Just take your time, I don’t want you to get sick,” Liam advised and Zayn nodded.

“I’m not going to get sick,” Zayn teased as he took a spoonful of soup and blew on it. Warmth enveloped his face, making him smile. He hadn’t had homemade soup in such a long time.

“You bet you aren’t, not with Liam taking care of you. He’ll watch you like a hawk. I’d hate myself if I had to be here and you be sick, Liam would turn all mom-mode,” Niall teased with an elbow jab at Liam’s arm.

“Yeah. Anyway, finish eating. It’s nearly eight o’clock now and you’ve had a long day,” Liam badgered back, making both Niall and Zayn smile.


	7. SEVEN

A week after the incident and Zayn has been coping pretty well. Liam apparently worked from home; Zayn had noticed he went into the study every day for a few hours and never left the house. During those hours Zayn would normally curl up on the couch, bundled up with a comfy jumper and a few blankets watching some show with Niall. 

Niall was a pretty decent guy. He told a crap ton of jokes and kept Zayn's mind from wandering. He hadn't had any foreign substances in his blood for a solid week and his thoughts constantly went back and forth on whether or not he needed to use some of his secret stash. It had laid untouched so far and Zayn would be lying if he said he didn't think about it every day, but he had enough distractions. 

"Hey Liam, I'm gonna head over to Lou's. He told me he needed me to go talk to him about the other day," Niall said one morning while Liam cooked up some sausage. 

"Do whatever you want. You can take my car if you want, it is quite cold out now seeing its mid-December," Liam had answered simply as Zayn tensed in his seat. Louis hadn't talked to anyone for the past week and Zayn knew something was bound to happen if Louis and Zayn met up again. 

"I'm gonna head over now, if you don't mind. I told him I would meet up with him at the diner," Niall said awkwardly as he rolled up the sleeves of his tan sweater so that his wrists showed. 

"Oh, okay. We'll be here if you need us. The keys are by the door," Liam smiled before turning off the stove and carrying the pan with sausage over to the table. 

"See you later, you two," Niall waved before slipping on a coat and leaving the house.

"So, is there anything you want to do today? Still sore or anything?" Liam questioned and Zayn shook his head before looking down at the table. His stomach felt hallow but he didn't want to eat anything. Not to mention it seemed like the room was spinning slowly. "You okay, Zayn? You don't look good," Liam asked before resting a firm hand on Zayn's shoulder. 

Zayn simply shook his head before his vision blurred and he felt himself fall out of the chair.

 

When Zayn came back, he felt something cold and damp on his forehead and his side felt like it was burning. He let out a groan before he felt someone's hands on him.

"Zayn? Are you okay? Stay still, okay. I'm going to get you some pain killers. I need to talk to you after," Liam said sternly before he heard footsteps walking away. 

Zayn's head was still pounding and he had yet to open his eyes. A few moments later he heard footsteps approaching him.

"Here, open your mouth and take a sip of water," Liam instructed and Zayn felt the familiar weight of a pill on his tongue before Liam placed a cup to his lips. Zayn took a hearty sip before swallowing. Liam fixed the cloth on Zayn's head before he felt Liam lift his torso off the couch and Liam's legs under him shortly after. 

"You can rest if you need to, but I'm sure you won't be out for more than an hour this time. When you wake up I need to talk to you," Liam said and Zayn nodded slowly before he felt Liam's fingers softly playing with his greasy hair.

 

Zayn woke up next and noticed it was much darker out by now. 

"Liam?" He called out when he realized he was no longer resting on the older man's lap. 

When no one responded Zayn carefully sat up and looked around. The only source of light was coming from one of the floor lamps across the room. Zayn carefully stood, realizing his head was no longer pounding but his side was still cramped. He walked down the hallway to his room, hoping Liam would be there so he wouldn't have to walk upstairs to look for him. When he looked into the room he noticed it was completely dark. 

'What time is it?' He idly thought before he walked over to the bed to see if Liam was laying in it. He looked around the room when he found the bed empty before he noticed the light coming through the windows was lighting up the closet door. 

Zayn bit his lip when he felt a tug in his gut telling him 'no, don't do it. What will happen if Liam finds you strung up?' but he slowly walked over to the closet and gripped the door handle. He pulled the door open slowly, grateful the door didn't have a squeaky hinge. He turned on the closet light before walking over to the shoe box. He looked up at it, hidden on the highest shelf and sighed. 

He was about to walk away when he remembered Liam was somewhere in the house and more than likely so was Niall but when his hands started shaking when he reached for the door handle he quickly turned around and reached up for the box carelessly, pulling down a few shoes and coats with it was he swung the box and hit the items. He cursed lowly as they clashed loudly onto the hardwood floors before realizing he was holding the box that would make all the pain go away for a long time. 

He quickly sat crisscross applesauce on the floor and placed the shoebox in front of him. He lifted the lid and pulled out the bag that was left half empty from a week ago. 

He quickly took the mirror and razor blade out before pouring some of the illegal powder out onto the reflective surface. 

As he started to shift the drug into a line, he heard a door open. His mind was screaming for him to quickly snort the powder before anyone could find him just as the closet door opened and Liam's face appeared in the doorway. 

"Zayn, are you-" He was cut off, taking in the sight in front of him. Zayn was near tears, a mirror and a blade shaking in his hands as he shifted the powder with each shake of his body. 

"Liam-Liam...I-" Zayn started, scared Liam would start yelling at him. 

"Zayn, please put the mirror down on the floor with the razor," Liam's voice was soft, deadly calm. Zayn did as he said, staring into Liam's whiskey colored eyes, mesmerized. Liam carefully walked into the closet with Zayn and sat down next to him. 

"Zayn, I need to help you. That's what I'm here for. I know how you feel. I even have some pills you can take to help you feel better and get your mind off things," Liam shifted Zayn so he was curled up on his lap. The smaller lad had tears falling down his face, his body shaking with sobs.

"I-I want to get better, Liam," Zayn cried, "But it's so hard."

"I know, Zayn, I know. Believe me I know," Liam whispered softly into Zayn's ear before he felt his own body start to shake from the horrible memories.


	8. EIGHT

“No you don’t,” Zayn mumbled as he curled into Liam’s body.

“I do, Zayn. I-It was bad, really bad. When I saw you on that park bench,” Liam shivered as tears slowly fell down his face, “I just, I remembered what it was like. Only feeling numb and crystal meth helped.”

“Why? Liam, it doesn’t make any sense. You’re so buff and handsome and have muscles. If you were a druggie like me, you would be skin and bones. Besides, your family must still love you. I’ve seen the photos you have around the house,” Zayn tried to deny the thought. Liam couldn’t have abused drugs, he was too perfect.

“Zayn, when I was in high school, my parents would always compare me to my sisters. I’m the baby of the family, so of course I have a reputation to keep. My father, he is a doctor at in Manchester. My mother is a nurse now, but before she had kids she was a lawyer, one of the best in the country. My oldest sister, Nicola, went to study in America because she was valedictorian; got a free ride to any college she wanted. My other sister, Ruth, studied at Uni to be a lawyer. And then there was me,” Liam’s eyes glossed over and his body began shaking.

“Liam, you don’t have to tell me this if you don’t want to,” Zayn whispered kindly as he wiped a few stray tears from his face before gently wiping Liam’s eyes.

“I have to. All through high school, my parents would push me. They pushed me so hard,” Liam’s voice cracked, “I was captain of the football team. We had practices every day. Monday through Saturday, games Sunday. Playing footie was my only hope to get into a good college. My grades were decent, mostly A’s and B’s a few C’s in maths, but other than that I was just average. I wasn’t valedictorian, and to be honest, I really didn’t want to go to college. My father wanted me to be a doctor, follow his footsteps, but I could never make it through med school,” Liam paused and looked down at Zayn’s big brown eyes.

“I,” Liam continued, “I broke my leg, messed it up so bad when scouts came to watch the game. It was my chance to shine to get a free ride into college. I messed my damn leg up so much I was in crutches for four months. I had to have two surgeries. My leg is still screwed up to this day. When I was seventeen I dropped out of school. I was only a semester away from getting my diploma. Stupidest decision I ever made,” Liam wheezed under his breath. “Please tell me you stayed in school, please.” Liam’s eyes were clouded with held-in tears as he looked down at Zayn hopefully. Zayn slowly shook his head, and that was when Liam lost it. Tears fell quickly down his face, dripping down off his jaw and onto Zayn’s white shirt.

The seventeen year old’s heart dropped. He made Liam cry. He disappointed him and now he feels like shit. This doesn’t make sense. Liam’s a stranger; he shouldn’t feel this way about him. He’s only known him for two weeks.

“Liam, please don’t cry. I-I only dropped out of school because after my parents dropped on my arse, I couldn’t get to school and I didn’t have any of my books. I was failing all my classes, even English. I only went to school once I was addicted because I’ve always wanted to be an English major and teach. Please, stop crying. I don’t like seeing you sad,” Zayn ranted, making Liam look up at him with his big, whiskey colored eyes.

“Once I dropped out of school, I went to some college party and saw all these people strung up on something. I was so stupid. I tried my first snort and it was addicting, the high. I got whipped so fast, too quickly. In a month I was spent all the money I had saved for college on stupid drugs and pipes and all that shit. Louis noticed me being so out of it and made me fess up. He helped me recover. He’s so fucking protective over me it’s ridiculous. My parents found out through Louis, and I hated him so much for ratting me out. But thank god he did. My dad put me in rehab and it sucked. It was horrible. I was there for eight months. My parents never told me they were disappointed in me; they were trying to get me back to normal. They knew I hit rock bottom after I broke my leg and helped me so much. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve abused any substance, and I know you can do it too, I know you can,” Liam smiled down at Zayn.

“I want to be clean, I do. I want to be healthy and muscular and I want my hair not to be so oily. I want to be normal and have friends,” Zayn admitted. “That explains why Louis is so protective over you and hates my guts though,” Zayn sighed.

“He only does it because he cares. I can help you. I know from experience, rehab doesn’t help all that much. It’s a safe place, but once you leave, everything goes downhill. I have some pills that I take when I feel like relapsing, but I haven’t needed them in a while and the prescription comes every month still, so I can do some research on how to start you off, but don’t think this is going to be easy, because it’s not,” Liam said sternly.

“Thank you, Liam. I’m going to try my hardest,” Zayn cuddled close to Liam, loving how much warmth his body gave.

“Please, promise me one thing, please,” Liam started and Zayn nodded immediately, “go back to school. Get your diploma and go to school, please. For me?” Liam begged.

“Liam, I-I don’t think I can. I’d have to make up three years of school. Besides, even once I got my diploma, I don’t have any money. I can’t afford Uni,” Zayn’s heart dropped. Out of all the things Liam wanted him to promise…

“I’ll help you. I did it,” Liam coaxed and Zayn sighed.

“I don’t want your money. You’re already helping me too much,” Zayn frowned.

“Zayn, please,” Liam’s voice was so vulnerable.

“I can try. I can’t promise you a whole lot, but I can try,” Zayn whispered and Liam smiled softly.

“Thank you, Zayn, you don’t know how much this means to me,” Liam wasn’t thinking, he was too overjoyed, as he bent down and kissed Zayn softly on the lips. It was only a peck, but Zayn’s lips were so soft, so warm, he wanted more. He quickly placed his lips on Zayn’s once more, this time for longer. He waited for Zayn to respond, and once he felt the tan boy’s lips nudge against his, he quickly positioned himself so he was lying on top of Zayn, hands gently scratching against Zayn’s scalp, making him groan softly. Liam gently rubbed his tongue over Zayn’s plump bottom lip, and Zayn immediately opened up. The moment Zayn’s tongue touched Liam’s, Liam’s whole body ignited it sparks. In an instant Liam was off of Zayn and on his feet, pacing quickly around the room.

“Li-” Zayn was cut off when Liam sent him a hard glare.

“Pretend that didn’t happen, shit. Fuck! Why do I always mess everything up?!” Liam angrily pulled at his short locks.

“Liam, you didn’t mess anything up, I enjoyed it, you didn’t scare me. I-I felt something,” Zayn spoke softly as he leaned forward into a sitting position on the closet floor.

“Shit! Zayn, I have a boyfriend,” Liam rushed out and Zayn’s face fell.

“Bo-boyfriend? I-” Zayn’s face contorted into a humiliated frown, tears immediately welling in his eyes. “You have a boyfriend? But you’ve been helping me so much, and cuddling with me when I’m cold, and helping me with everything and you just kissed me, but you have a boyfriend?” Zayn whimpered brokenly. He actually felt something when he was with Liam. He felt loved, and protected, but Liam doesn’t love him, he loves his boyfriend, that isn’t him.

“Zayn, I’m sorry. I haven’t been thinking right the past few weeks. I haven’t seen him in a long time, he’s touring-” Liam was cut off.

“Touring? What is he some famous guy?” Zayn whimpered.

“His name is Harry Styles, he’s a singer. He’s touring the UK now,” Liam explained and Zayn immediately knew he was stupid. Not only was he stupid because his life revolved around meth, but he was also stupid to think he could ever be Liam’s boyfriend. Heck, Liam’s boyfriend is some famous guy, who sings.

“I liked you, Liam. I like still, just know I know I was being stupid, having a crush on you,” Zayn admitted as tears fell. “I hope you’re happy with Henry.”

“Harry,” Liam corrected. The moment the word passed his lips Zayn’s face crippled even more. “Look Zayn, I like you too. Obviously, I was the one who kissed you. I just, I don’t know what to do,” Liam grimaced as he looked at Zayn’s broken form.

“Can you, can you please, just go. I think I need some time to think,” Zayn spoke softly, so calmly, Liam got shivers.

“Zayn-”

“Please. I promise, I won’t touch the drugs, hell, take them and flush them somewhere. I just want to be alone. I don’t need them anymore,” Zayn pleaded and Liam slowly nodded. He walked over to the two baggies and placed them in the shoe box with the rest of the powder and things before quickly walking out the door.

\------


	9. NINE

The following morning Liam tumbled out of bed after trying to sleep the whole night. At seven o’clock he finally gave up and headed toward the kitchen.

 

 

“You sure you’re okay mate? I mean we might not be super close but if you need something you can always talk to me,” Liam heard a familiar Irish accent talk lowly as he got closer to the kitchen door way.

 

 

“I’m good, could you pass the milk?” Zayn’s tired voice filled Liam’s ears and he felt his heart stop for a second. Last night was a disaster. Liam knew he shouldn’t have kissed Zayn but he let his feelings get the best of him and then he panicked. He hadn’t even talked to Harry much since he started taking care of Zayn.

 

 

Liam walked into the kitchen slowly, his head down. It was stupid, this was his house, not Zayn’s, but he was too afraid to confront Zayn because he didn’t want him to leave.

 

 

“Morning,” Liam called simply. He looked up at Niall who smiled softly before finishing off his cereal.

 

 

“Morning, Li,” Niall called back cheerfully before getting up and putting his bowl in the sink. “Off ‘ta shower,” he called over his shoulder before leaving Zayn and Liam together in the kitchen.

 

 

“Good morning, Liam,” Zayn said softly, his eyes focused on his cereal. He chased the last few pieces of soggy cereal with his spoon before giving up and resting his spoon beside the bowl.

 

 

“Zayn-” Liam started before he was cut off.

 

 

“Liam, I don’t want to hear about you ‘being sorry’ because you really should be telling that to your,” Zayn took in a shaky breath, “boyfriend.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Zayn, I really am sorry about everything that happened last night. I mean, that kiss, I wanted to tell you that kiss meant something to me. I’m just scared because, well Harry and I have been going out for almost a year. I really like him but I haven’t seen him in almost two months. He comes off tour Friday. I don’t want to crush him, and I know Louis will hate me if he knew I broke up with Harry for you. No offence, I think you’re great but I’m just really confused and I don’t know what to think,” Liam ranted.

 

 

“It’s fine. I’ll just forget it ever happened, seeing that’s clearly what you want me to do,”

Zayn sighed before getting up and placing his bowl in the sink next to Niall’s. “I’m going to take a nap,” Zayn sighed before walking out of the kitchen and leaving Liam by himself.

 

 

Liam took a deep breath before walking out and going back upstairs to his bedroom, he’d lost his appetite.

 

 

___

 

 

“Zayn, are you sure you’re okay in there?” Niall called worriedly. Zayn had locked himself in the bathroom nearly thirty minutes ago and the only thing he could hear through the door was the sound of somebody retching and the flush of the toilet.

 

 

Niall got no response other than the sound of water running. “Zayn? Do you want me to help you out? You need anything?” Niall tried again.

 

 

“I’ll be fine,” Niall heard Zayn rasp through the door.

 

“Okay then, holler if you need me. I’ll just be in my room,” Niall responds before heading over to his temporary bed and pulling out his phone. Just as he opened his twitter app he heard a knock at his door. Obviously it was Liam; he was the only other person in the house. “Come in, Li,” He called before plugging his phone into the charger and sitting up on the bed.

 

"Hey, Ni. Have you seen Zayn? I need to tell him something important," Liam rushed out as he walked into Niall's temporary room.

 

"What's wrong?" Niall asked. It was so un-Liam like for him to seem so antsy and nervous all the time.

 

"It's just, Harry called me. He's coming home early, tomorrow I mean. I haven’t seen him in forever and I need to tell Zayn. Have you seen him?” Liam mumbled out before the sound of running water filled the room and both of them looked towards the Jack and Jill bathroom that connected Niall’s and Zayn’s rooms.

“He’s in there. He’s sick, been throwing up for at least twenty minutes. He said he didn’t want my help. Just knock on the door,” Niall got off his bed and walked over to Liam. “Don’t mess up again. He needs you,” He patted Liam’s shoulder before leaving the room.

Liam swallowed thickly as he walked over to the bathroom door. He ran his hands quickly through his hair before knocking on the door.

“I’m fine, Niall. Please leave me alone,” Liam heard Zayn’s rough voice call quietly.

“It’s, it’s not Niall. Zayn, can I come in, please?” Liam asked hopefully, placing his hand on the doorknob to see if it was locked; it was. Zayn didn’t respond immediately and Liam was pondering whether or not to go get the spare keys from his kitchen’s junk drawer. He heard a soft click and he tested the doorknob to find out the door had been unlocked.

“Do you need-” Liam started only to have Zayn fall into his arms and start crying. Liam looked down, startled, “Zayn, shh, hey it’s okay. Here, let’s sit down,” Liam carefully sat down on the bathroom floor with Zayn curled up on his lap, his face hidden in his shoulder. Liam just sat there and rubbed Zayn’s back soothingly before Zayn violently jumped out of Liam’s lap and began hacking into the toilet bowl. Zayn’s face was pale and his skin was clammy and warm, tears feel angrily down his face.

Liam simply stayed where he was sitting, giving Zayn his space. He knew exactly what he was going through. Withdrawal was horrible and Liam knew the only way this was really going to work was if he weaned Zayn slowly off the drug and so far he’d gone almost two days without the horrible substance in his blood flow. Zayn shakily pulled away from the toilet bowl and walked over to the sink and washed out his mouth before he turned around and climbed back into Liam’s comforting arms.

“It’s just bile now. My throat is on fire and my stomach feels empty, but I know if I eat anything I’m just going to throw it up,” Zayn rasped.

“Zayn, I know you think that this is the best way to stop your addiction, but your body’s going to go into shock. I don’t want you to get mad at me for suggesting this, but I’m going to give you a pill that’ll calm your stomach, then I’m going to give you a little bit of, uh, meth. I know you want to stop cold turkey, but your body isn’t ready for it. I’m going to have to teach you how to do this. I kept the powder because I knew this was going to happen, it happened to me. I’m only going to give you a little bit so it’ll calm you. Don’t get mad at me,” Liam ran his hand through Zayn’s long head of hair before looking down at his face.

“Promise this will work?” Zayn asked with bug eyes.

“Promise, I’ll hide the rest so you can’t find it and I’ll do some research and create a schedule and everything,” Liam smiled down at the young boy.

“Okay,” Zayn responded with a smile before his face twisted up, “Can I have that pill now, I really don’t want to throw up anymore.”

“Of course,” Liam smiled before hesitantly kissing Zayn’s forehead and standing up with Zayn cradled in his arms.

“By the way, Liam, I know Harry’s coming tomorrow, you talked pretty loudly,” Zayn whispered quietly, a small frown on his face.

“I’m sorry, Zayn. I really am,” Liam sighed before walking Zayn to his bedroom. He carefully placed him on his bed before covering him with a thick blanket. “I’ll be right back,” Liam stated before gently wiping a stray tear from Zayn’s chiseled face.

When Liam came back with the pill he had to wake Zayn up, which made him feel guilty.

“I have the pill, I want you to eat some crackers as well,” Liam stated before placing the pill and a glass of water into Zayn’s hands.

“Thank you,” Zayn smiled before expertly popping the pill into his mouth and gulping down a few sips of water. After Zayn had eaten half a pack of crackers, Liam nervously pulled a familiar baggy out of his pocket. “You sure this is going to work?” Zayn asked nervously.

“It’ll only be enough to take the edge off,” Liam calmed him as poured a small amount out and then handed Zayn a razor. “I’m going to be right outside the door, I can’t be in here while you’re doing… that. Sorry,” Liam gave a soft smile before walking out of the room.

Zayn quickly snorted the powder, his body almost immediately calming. He could feel the drug slowly move throughout his body. Liam walked in and smiled softly.

“I told you I would help you,” Liam handed Zayn the glass of water, “finish it.” Zayn took the glass and quickly finished it.

“Liam?” Zayn called out as Liam turned to leave, “Please stay. I feel better when I’m around you.” Zayn blushed before pulling the blanket back for Liam to come lay next to him.

“What are you doing to me?” Liam whispered as he climbed in and pulled Zayn close.


	10. TEN

When Liam woke up the next morning he felt stranglely hot all over. His eye lids fluttered open to reveal that he's face to face with Zayn. He took in a deep breath before carefully climbing out of Zayn's bed. He looked over at the clock and goaned. It was already almost ten o'clock and Harry had told him his flight was coming in at noon, meaning by the time he fetched a cab and got to Liam's house without any fans seeing him, it'd be closer to one. 

Liam ran a sweaty hand down his face and grimaced, he definately needed to take a shower before Harry came to see him. He quickly grabbed his sweat pants he must have kicked off at some point in his sleep and pulled them on over his tight gray boxers. He debated whether or not he should wake up Zayn before deciding he really should sleep as long as he needs seeing today wont be fun for him and yesterday he spent sick.

Liam walked out of the room and went upstairs to his room before grabbing a pair of loose fitting skinny jeans and a warm gray sweater. He went into his master bathroom and stripped down before taking a quick shower. He climbed out and tied a towel around his narrow waiste. He walked over to his sink and quickly brushed his teeth before grabbing his hair wax and shifting his hair into a quiff. He decided to skip shaving, Harry likes when Liam had a bit of stubble.

Liam dressed with ease before going back downstairs to see if Niall was awake yet and to make himself some breakfast. He walked over to Niall's room and knocked before just walking in.

"Mate, why'd you knock if you weren't even gonna wait for an answer?" Niall grumbled as he fixed his shirt so that it covered his hip bones.

"Oh shut up, at least I knocked," Liam snapped back before sitting down next to Niall on the edge of his bed.

"You excited to see Haz? You haven't seen him in a while," Niall smiled, "Bet the sex will be good the, I-missed-you-so-much kinda sex?" Niall teased before looking up at Liam's face. He had a slight smile on his face before it fell and his eyebrows furrowed.

"I probably should be happy to see him, shouldn't I? Don't get me wrong I miss him like hell but the last few months he hasn't really Skype'd or even texted me much. I mean I still love him, but you know, with Zayn and I, I know that it's going to be awkward. I just hope he won't be expecting a huge welcome home party or anything, becasue I just want to chill and watch a movie, maybe snog a bit. I don't want to make things compilcated or anything," Liam sighed before meeting Niall's gaze. 

"Mate, shit, Liam, you know I don't know what ta tell you. I've been single to long to be in the right hands to give you advice," Niall sighed before sitting up and pulling Liam up with him. "Did you call Lou and let him know Harry was coming home early?" Niall questioned before Liam blanched.

"Shit, I forgot, I'll call him and let him know, I hope he's not working. I'll invite him over, hopefully he won't freak when he finds out about Zayn still being here," Liam rushed as he pulled his phone out of his back pocket, sending Louis a quick text. 

"I'm gonna go start breakfast, why don't you go wake Zayn, he shouldn't sleep too late, otherwise you know he'll be clingy and groggy for the rest of the day," Niall stated and Liam smiled. A few days after Zayn agreed on staying at Liam's, the pair had fallen asleep late and woke up at nearly one in the afternoon and then the rest of the day Zayn would'nt leave his side, unless he was using the bathroom of course. "Eggs sound good?" Niall asked.

"Yeah, make some for Zayn too, will ya?" Liam smiled before walking through the bathroom into Zayn's room. He stood outside the door for a minute saying a silent prayer that Zayn would be awake. He opened the door and looked over to the messy bed and cursed silently when he saw Zayn's body carelessly thrown across the bed, the thick navy blue quilt wrapped around his waist, otherwise his smooth tan skin was on display. He walked over and sighed before gently shaking him.

"Fuck off, 'm tired," Zayn's voice broke as he grumbled. Liam laughed before pushing harder on Zayn's shoulder so that he'd be laying on his back.

"Come on, get up. Niall's making breakfast and Harry's gonna be here soon. Besides you need to shower so you don't stink. Oh, and it's almost quarter to eleven," Liam smirked as Zayn lifted his head to smell his arm pits and grimaced. "Told you, now get up, come on," Liam teased and Zayn grumbled something under his breath before throwing the quilt off his body and walked heavily to his bathroom.

Liam shook his head before leaving Zayn's room and going upstairs to grab some clean clothes for Zayn to wear. He grabbed a pair of skinny jeans that he had grown out of and forgotten to give to charity and a nice button down red shirt that was similar to the blue one Liam had dressed in earlier. He walked back downstairs and put the clothes on Zayn's bed before walking to the kitchen to check up on Niall. 

"Did you call Lou yet? If you don't want to call him, I can do it," Niall asked over his shoulder as he poured some scrambled eggs into the hot skillet.

"No, it's fine. It's not like we can ignore each other forever," Liam sighed before pulling out his phone and quickly ringing Louis. He answered after two rings with a,

"What do you want, Payno? That kid bail on you?"

"Fuck off, Lou. I just wanted to let you know Haz was coming home today. I was going to invite you if you weren't going to bash on Zayn the whole time," Liam snapped back.

"Whoa, okay, chill, Li. What time he getting to your place?"

"Around one. We're just going to chill for a while, you know?" Liam bit his lip, waiting for a rude remark to leave Louis' mouth.

"Okay, I get out of work at noon so that's perfect. See you then?" Louis asked.

"Yeah, thanks Lou. See you then. Bye," Liam waited until Louis said his annoyingly long goodbye before hanging up. Liam tucked his phone back into his pocket before walking over to the cabinet over the sink to grab three plates.

"Pass me the plates, the eggs are done," Niall took the plates from Liam and scooped an even amount of eggs onto all three plates. "Bon appetite!" 

"Thanks," Liam smiled at him as he grabbed a plate and walked over to the table and sat down.

"He coming?" Niall asked as he began to dig into his own eggs.

"Yeah, he sounded surprised I asked him, actually," Liam smiled as Zayn walked in dressed in his clothes and grabbed his plate.

"Well, you two haven't really been talking much lately," Niall pointed out and Zayn looked up at Liam with a frown.

"Who?" He asked as he finished the last of his eggs.

"Louis," Liam said softly and Zayn's face paled. Liam immediately reached across the table to grab Zayn's hand and ran his thumb over the top of Zayn's knuckles. 

"Hey, I told him that of he is rude I'm kicking him out. You can stay with me if you don't want to be near him," Liam said sympathetically. 

"But when Harry comes I'm not going to be able to use you as protection. I mean Harry's going to want to be with you," Zayn frowned.

"Then you can be with me," Niall chirped in as he saw Liam's face fall. Zayn nodded before picking up his plate and walking over to the sink to rinse it before putting it in the dishwasher.

\------

A few hours passed and the three boys were sitting on the couch watching stupid reality shows before Louis and Harry arrived.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back,” Liam quickly jumped off the couch and walked to the bathroom.

Zayn looked up from playing with his hands nervously. “What time did Liam say he was going to get here again?” Zayn asked worriedly.

“Around one,” Niall answered, his eyes not moving from the tv screen where there were girls walking around in bikinis. Zayn glanced up at the clock and saw it was just ten of one. Just then the doorbell rang and Zayn nervously glanced at the door. “Don’t stress, Zayn. Harry’s a good guy,” Niall sighed before Liam ran into the room with a hand towel in his hands.

“Did the doorbell ring? Shit,” Liam walked over to the door before opening it slowly, a smile growing on his face. “Harry,” He whispered with a soft smile before he pulled a tall, curly haired boy into a tight hug.

 

“I missed you so much, Li. I’m so sorry for not calling that much the past few weeks. Management was up my ass about the new album,” Liam’s boyfriend smiled when they pulled away.

“Its fine, you’re here now,” Liam smiled before gently kissing the boy. Zayn, who had been watching, turned away and began fiddling with his hands once again.

“Hey, do you want to go get something to drink?” Niall asked Zayn, noticing his distress. Zayn nodded, deciding he didn’t want to be around the person he cares for with another man. The two walked to the kitchen and Niall pulled out the kettle from where it was hiding in one of the cabinets and plugged it in. "Fill for me, will ya?" Niall passed the kettle to Zayn to fill while he searched the cabinets for the tea. Once Zayn finished filling the kettle he placed it on the heating pad to heat up. "Do you like herbal teas?" Niall asked as he grabbed the last box of teas in Liam's upper cupboard. 

"Sure, I don't mind," Zayn said softly and Niall nodded. Niall placed to tea bags on the counter and then pulled two shiny black mugs down from the lazy Susan cabinet where Liam kept all sorts of cups and mugs. 

The kettle pinged telling the two boys it was done and Niall poured some of the hot water into both mugs before placing it back on the heating pad and turning it off. 

"Do you know if he has honey?" Zayn asked softly as Niall pulled out a quart of milk from the fridge and pour a small amount into his tea. Niall shrugged and responded, 

"Check the cabinet next to the stove." 

The two boys took their time finishing their drinks in silence. After they both finished and washed both mugs, dried and put them back in their place, Niall turned to Zayn.

"Look, I know you don't feel comfotable right now. Louis said he'd be here a half hour ago and he still hasn't shown up. Granted, I know you don't like him very much, but he's Liam's closest friend and I know Liam's going to be upset. That means that Harry's going to be the one who wants to comfort him. Just a warning, when we get back in there sit next to me. I'm sure I'll be able to distract you from the love fest going on in there," Niall smiled awkwardly before patting Zayn's shoulder and walking back into the living room. 

Zayn sighed before following him. Liam was half way sitting on Harry's lap, his eyes focused in on Harry's stupidly attractive face as he whispered to him. He walked over to where Niall was sitting and looked over at him. 

"So how's touring been Harry?" Niall asks, trying to start some sort of a conversation. 

"Tiring, I'm happy I finally get a break," Harry grinned, putting his cheeky dimples on display. He turned an planted his eyes on Zayn, "I'm sorry, you don't look very familiar, what's your name? I'm so sorry I didn't even notice you before," Harry smiled and Liam gave Zayn a pleeing look.

"'m Zayn," He answered softly. 

"Well, nice to meet you, Zayn. I'm Harry, but I'm sure you already knew that," Harry winked at Zayn and Zayn forced a smile. 

"Yeah, Liam really missed you," Zayn sighed. 

This is going to be a long day, Zayn thought to himself as Liam started talking about how he and Zayn had met, sparing the major details, for Zayn's sake, probably.


	11. ELEVEN

By the time six o'clock rolled around Zayn had been talking to the three boys pretty freely, much to his disappointment. Harry seemed like a great guy, maybe a little cocky and maybe he told a few too many bad jokes, but he always knew how to put a smile on Liam's face. Louis still hadn't shown up and it was obvious Liam was disappointed.

Liam and Harry had gone into the kitchen to start making dinner and that left Niall and Zayn together in the living room.

"How you holding up?" Niall asked as he took a sip of his first beer of the day.

"I think I'm good. Harry seems pretty decent," Zayn muttered while he picked at his finger nails.

"Told you so," Niall smirked and nudged his shoulder into Zayn's bony one.

The two boys sat there for a little while, just watching the screen that was playing some footie game that had aired the night before, until Liam called them into the kitchen saying the pasta was done. To be quite honest, Zayn wasn't even hungry and knowing that Harry was most likely going to be sitting in his normal seat next to Liam made it even less appealing. Niall led the way into the kitchen, pulling Zayn by his elbow seeing he had stayed seated. Harry watched the two walk in with careful eyes as Niall got Zayn situated and placed a plate filled with pasta in front of him.

"Thank you," Zayn had muttered as he picked up his fork and stabbed a noodle. He looked up and saw that both Liam and Harry were starring at him as Niall sat down. He quickly looked back down at his meal and forced himself to eat the noodle on his fork. His throat felt like it was collapsed as he tried to swallow the pasta before he swallowed is quickly and downed it with a sip of water. 

"Zayn can I ask you a question?" Harry asked suddenly and Zayn looked up at him with big eyes before nodding slowly. "Are you and Niall dating?" Zayn heard Niall bark out a laugh as Zayn quickly shook his head before looking back down at his plate. He stabbed another noodle but didn't bring it to his mouth, his stomach was already trying to reject the previous noodle.

"That's a good one, mate. I like boobs," Niall laughed as he patted Zayn on his back before taking another sip of his beer. 

"Yeah, Harry, Niall likes birds," Liam stated it was the most obvious thing in the world. Zayn felt his body turn cold and his body began to sweat. Zayn quickly dropped his fork and rushed to the bathroom. 

Of-fucking-course this had to happen know, Zayn panicked as he locked the door behind him and he curled himself in a ball. The sweat had started to build up at his hair line and his clothing felt to hot as his body shivered so he quickly stripped down to his too big boxers and started a hot shower. Just as he was about to climb into the shower he felt his stomach twist and he rushed over to the toilet and emptied his stomach. All he had eaten that day was breakfast and some small snacks through out the day. Once he was sure his stomach had settled somewhat he pulled himself up and climbed into the shower. He felt too weak to stand so he just let the hot water run over his body as he curled up on the shower floor. He felt his eyelids flutter closed as the warm water ran over his naked body doing nothing to stop his cold sweats. 

When Zayn woke up next Liam and Niall were standing over him and he was still dripping with water. 

"Jesus Christ, Zayn what the hell are you doing? You scared the crap out of me!" Liam said as he grabbed a towel from the rack and Niall turned off the shower. "Niall, go have Harry call for an ambulance, I didn't want things to lead to this, Zayn but I guess it has to," Liam said sadly as he carefully picked Zayn up and wrapped him tightly in a towel. 

"N-No, no, I don't want to do to the hospital!" Zayn cried out, trying to get out of Liam's arms but he was too weak. "I'm not going to get in the ambulance! I don't have to! It's my choice! Please put me down!" Zayn had tears in his eyes when he was done before he realized that Harry was standing in the doorway looking in with horrified eyes. 

"Liam do you need help?" He asked worriedly.

"I'm fine, Harry. But please make sure Niall is calling for an ambulance," Liam responded and Harry nodded carefully before going to find Niall. "You have to go with the ambulance because you aren't legal yet. I'm older than you so I get to make the decision for you. Zayn, I can't help you if you are going to need this much help. I know the stress from today is probably what triggered this but the least you could do is go and have them give you something to relax you. Zayn I don't like seeing you like this, it makes me upset and I know I can't give you everything you need," Liam pleaded him as he heard the sound of sirens coming closer to the house.

"Liam, this isn't fair! I'm going to be eighteen in January! I don't want to go to the hospital becasue they'll make me go to a crazy place, Liam, I'm scared," Zayn cried as he heard the front door close and the sound of heavy boots come towards the bathroom.

"I know, Zayn, I know. I'll ride in the ambulance with you if that's what you want. I'll have Niall and Harry follow us," Liam tried and Zayn nodded as two men dressed in white button up shirts and black dress pants came in carrying a big bag filled with medical supplies as another man appeared with a stretcher. Zayn clung to Liam as one of them walked over to Zayn and gave him a kind smile.

"Hello boys, I'm Connor, and I'm not here to scare you, I promise. What's your name?" The tall man, Connor, asked. Liam looked down and saw that Zayn wasn't going to answer anytime soon he looked up at the man and answered for him. 

"His name is Zayn. He was passed out in the shower and I'm really worried about him," Liam said and another man came up behind Connor. Liam was lucky the bathroom was so large otherwise they would have to move somewhere else. 

"Could we have him respond for us? We need to make sure he didn't suffer any head trauma. I'm Pete, by the way," He said. 

Liam looked down at Zayn and gave him a nod, "'m Zayn." He responded before burrying his face down in Liam's armpit. 

"Good, good. Do you know what day it is?" Pete asked as Connor knelt down and pulled out his stethoscope and breathed on the metal part to warm it up before signalling Liam to pull down the towel so he could get his heart rate. 

"Um, Wednesday," Zayn answered as Connor began taking his heart rate. 

"Fantastic, and how old are you, Zayn," Pete asked. Zayn looked behind Pete and saw the other medic setting up the stretcher and calling into the station through his mic. 

"'m seventeen and my birthday is January 12th," Zayn mumbled as Connor stood back up.

"Great, Zayn. Now, do you have clothes on under that towel? If not you might want to put some boxers on because we're going to have to take you into the hospital. I don't want to worry you but your heart rate seemed a little slow so we should get that checked on. Not to mention you're freezing cold," Connor said and Liam reached behind him and grabbed his pair of boxers he was wearing earlier and handed them to Zayn. 

He slipped them on under the towel so Zayn wouldn't have to stand on his unstable legs. The last paramedic, the one Liam couldn't remember the name of, pulled out a large bag that looked like it was tin toil and laid it out. 

"Okay Zayn, we're going to get you ready on the stretcher now. Could you put him on it carefully for us?" Pete asked Liam and he nodded. He placed Zayn carefully on the portable bed and went to to step back when Zayn grabbed his hand and pulled him so he was still close. 

"I'm Tristan, and I'm just going to wrap this around you to help keep you warm, okay? After that I'm going to have to put an oxygen mask over your mouth to make sure you get enough air into those lungs." Tris, or the last medic said. Zayn nodded and Tris and Pete carefully wrapped Zayn up and ended up having to have the two let go of hands. Zayn let out a cry of protest but Liam assured him he was fine and that he wasn't going anywhere. 

"Okay Zayn we're going to go get you into the ambulance now, I'm assuming you want to come with him?" Connor smiled as Tristan placed the air mask over Zayn's face. Liam nodded.

"You might want to get some shoes on then and a coat, it is mid winter, you know," Pete smiled as he helped Tristan wheel Zayn out of the bathroom. 

"I'll be right back, Zayn," Liam said as worry flashed across his face. He quickly grabbed his phone and a coat before slipping on shoes. "Follow behind us if you want to come, otherwise I'm going to go over with Zayn," Liam called over his shoulders as he ran down the front steps with the three paramedics. 

The medics got Zayn into the ambulance easily and Tristan climbed in the back with Zayn to make sure he was fine on the ride over. Liam climbed in after them before Connor and Pete closed the door and quickly got into the front and turned on the sirens before driving towards the hospital. 

Liam watched as Harry and Niall climbed into his range rover and followed behind the ambulance with their flashers on. He was seated by Zayn's head and gently rubbed Zayn's forehead and wiped tears from his eyes whenever needed. Tristan got him attached to a heart rate monitor and then smiled up at Liam. 

"We're almost there, don't worry," Tris said and Liam nodded. Liam watched as Harry struggled to keep up with the ambulance on the motorway. 

Ten minutes later they pulled up to the back wing of the hospital and quickly unloaded Zayn and wheeled him into a room. Just as Liam climbed out of the ambulance he heard a familiar name call out,

"Liam!" He turned around and smiled at his dad who was dressed in his doctor get up. "What are you doing here, son?" He asked as he gave his son a hug. 

"My friend, sorry dad, I'll catch up with you after, I promised I'd stay with him. He doesn't like hospitals," Liam smiled softly before patting his dad on the back and rushing to follow where Tristan and Connor had wheeled Zayn.


	12. TWELVE

Liam ended up having to go the receptionist after getting caught up with his father because he couldn't find where Zayn had gone. By the time the nurse behind the desk could find out Zayn's location she told him they had to put him the in emergency room after his heart rate suddenly spiked down and his breathing became rushed. Now Liam is sitting anxiously in the waiting room with Harry and Niall by his sides. 

"Did she tell you how long it was going to take until they'd let you in?" Niall asked as he bit at his finger nails, one of his horrible habits. 

"No," Liam groaned and threw his hands over his face to wipe at his eyes tiredly. It was almost nine thirty and soon they would be kicked out seeing visiting hours ended at ten. "I ran into my dad as soon as we got here and I lost track of where Zayn went. When I was with him he was fine, he just seemed really nervous and panicky seeing he hates hospitals."

"Speaking of your dad, here he comes," Harry rubbed Liam's shoulders with one hand and pointed up the Liam's father with his spare.

"Hey Liam, you came here with Zayn Malik, correct?" He asked with a grim face.

"Y-Yes, he's alright, right?" Liam stood up quickly and walked over to his dad.

"He's on the third floor right now, we had to do an x-ray to figure out what was wrong and found a small hole in his lung. We're going to figure out how it happened after once the drugs from surgery wear off, but you can go in and see him for now. He should be awake and he was asking for you," Liam's father smiled and patted Liam on the back.

"Oh god, thank you dad. He's terrified of hospitals, I'll go find him," Liam was just about to leave when his dad grabbed his arm.

"Stay the night, I'll notify the nurses station to let them know you're allowed, just don't keep Zayn from resting, he needs it."

Liam nodded before waving to Niall and Harry, who looked at him and nodded, already knowing what was happening, and walked swiftly to the elevators. 

Once Liam found Zayn's room after ten minutes of searching ( and only because one of the on duty nurses knew where his room was), Liam walked into his room and gasped. Zayn's skin was completely washed out and his face looked sunken in. He noticed a breathing tube was inserted which told Liam that Zayn wouldn't be able to talk. 

As the door closed behind Liam with a click, Zayn's eyes met Liam's and a crooked smiled grew on his face. 

"Hi, Zayn, thanks for scaring the crap out of me, buddy," Liam teased as he walked over to where the chair was and pulled it so it was next to Zayn's bed. "I know you can't talk right now, but that's okay. I just wanted to be sure that you were okay. Did I already tell you that you scared me shitless? I had no idea where you went and next thing I knew you were in the emergency room getting an operation on your lung!" Liam looked up at Zayn, who now looked quite upset with himself, and grabbed Zayn's hand, the one with no wires or tubes attached, and continued. "Don't worry, Zayn. I'm okay now that I know that you're okay and will hopefully fully recover." 

Liam brought Zayn's hand up to his lips and gently placed light kisses on each or Zayn's knuckles. "Why don't you try to get some sleep so that we can bail you out of here sooner rather than later, okay?" Liam whispered looking up at the dark headed boy. Zayn hummed around the breathing tube before allowing his eyes to flutter shut. 

Once Liam checked over all of Zayn's equipment he was attached to he made himself comfortable in the lousy hospital chair beside Zayn.

~~~~

"Okay, Mr. Malik, I'm going to remove your breathing tube. It's not going to be a pleasant feeling and you might feel sick so we'll get you a mess bucket, but after that we'll just monitor you for the rest of the day and then you should be free to go," Zayn's doctor, his name had slipped Liam's mind, told Zayn kindly before a nurse came in with a mess bucket. Liam grabbed Zayn's hand and rubbed his thumb over his knuckles to calm him before the doctor counted down from three and gently removed the tube, causing Zayn to gag out of reflex and empty his already emptied stomach into the sick bucket before dry heaving a few more times and then leaned back against the hospital bed. 

"Ugh, that was awful," Zayn whined before grabbing at his throat and massaging it. "My voice sounds awful, too."

"You've had a breathing tube controlling your breathing for two days, you're throat is bound to be sore, silly," Liam teased as he tucked some of Zayn's long, greasy locks behind his ear. 

"Oh, shut up, you weren't the one who had to pee in a fucking tube that's stuck inside your dick for two days! The stupid doctors wouldn't let me use the bathroom like a big boy," Zayn pouted after the doctors cleaned up and left. 

"Zayn, you aren't even eighteen yet, you're just a baby!" Liam teased.

"Oh, shove off! I know how to aim my prick into a toilet!" 

"Is now a bad time?" Niall walked in with a smirk and Zayn immediately turned beet red.

"N-No, um, hi Niall. Didn't see you there," Zayn scratched at the back of his head while Liam laughed at his frazzled state.

"What's up, Nialler? Is Harry not entertaining enough for you?" Liam teased as Niall stayed near the doorway, not fully entering the room.

"Dude, if I hear one more of his horrid knock knock jokes, I'm going to have to throw a fucking orange at his head," Liam chucked at Niall's response, "But actually, I just wanted to let you know that I was going to head over Josh's place. I haven't been over yet and I told him I'd visit him when I got back here. I think Harry said he was going to go visit Lou's, too."

"Oh, okay. drive safe, it is a Friday afternoon," Liam advised before waving Niall off. 

"So..." Zayn started awkwardly, "Knock knock?"

"I swear to fucking god, Zayn, if you say banana..."

"Geesh, never mind, Mr. Grumpy Pants."

~~~~

"Are you sure it's not too hot in here? I don't want you to get overheated so you don't have to over work your lungs," Liam asked later that night. Zayn had been released from the hospital, but because of the hole in his lung, the doctors want to monitor him closely for the next three months to make sure another one doesn't appear out of nowhere.

"Liam, what does heat have to do with breathing?" Zayn asked, amused.

"Well, I don't know exactly but maybe you'll start panting or-"

"Liam, do I look like a fucking dog to you?" Zayn teased, crinkles forming around his eyes as he smiled.

"Wha-? Oh! No, no, oh god, Zayn, I don't know. I'm just w-"

"Worried, I know. You heard the doctor, he just wanted to make sure I got plenty of rest and didn't get too stressed," Zayn shushed Liam, motioning for him to come cuddle with him in bed. Liam hesitantly climbed in beside Zayn and allowed him to rest his head on his broad chest. Zayn's eyes fluttered closed as Liam played his hair slowly, massaging his scalp and calming him.

"Zayn?" Liam questioned.

"Yeah, Li?"

"What do you think Harry would say if he walked in on us like this, cuddling?"

"Liam, please don't worry about that for now. Keep playing with my hair, though? It feels really nice," Zayn flushed and Liam bent down and placed a quick kiss to his head. 

"Of course, Zayn. Rest up."


	13. THIRTEEN

"How do you feel, Zayn? You still seem a little quiet," Niall asked the following morning. Harry had shown up at some point early this morning and cooked the three boys a big breakfast, the smell itself woke the boys.

"My chest is sore, but they gave me some pain meds, right Liam? I'm supposed to take them and it helps quite a lot. I still haven't checked my stitches, I think I might have to borrow one of you guys to help me clean them. I'm just glad I'm back home now," Zayn blushed as he pushed his cut up french toast around on his plate. 

"I'm sure I can help you later. Your doctor did tell me how to do it anyway," Liam smiled and Zayn nodded, looking over at Harry who seemed too distracted with something on his phone to care to pay attention to what Liam was saying right now.

The four boys finished their meals shortly after. Zayn took one of the pain medication his doctor had prescribed to him and then the boys were all back in the living room. Liam sat between Zayn and Harry on the main sofa while Niall sat at Liam's feet on the floor.

"So, Harry, what are your plans for Christmas this year?" Niall questioned, looking up from his spot on the floor.

"Uh, I'm probably just going to go to my mum's place and hang out," Harry responded slowly. "What about you? I mean how long are you staying?"

"I'm staying with Li for the next couple of months, just to get the feel of London before I decide if I really want to move here," Niall responded, "I'm just gonna hang with what ever Liam does for Christmas."

Harry nodded before looking over at Zayn, "And you?" He questioned the skinny boy. 

"Oh, um, I'm not really sure, to be honest," Zayn blushed and picked at his fingers to distract himself. 

"Surely you would go visit your family, right? I mean you seem too young not be celebrating with the people that love you," Harry pushed, not knowing what turmoil he was bringing back up to the surface in Zayn's mind. 

"Yeah, um, maybe I'll just do that," Zayn lied, so blatantly Harry gave him a questioning look. Liam reached over and placed a hand on Zayn's knee to comfort him and he felt himself relax, but also Harry's burning eyes on the side of his face. 

"My family is coming here to celebrate, Haz, I'm sure they wouldn't mind Zayn hanging out with us," Liam said softly, looking up at Harry with a small smile. 

Zayn felt his chest tighten at the sight, not because of the surgery he recently had, but because Liam was so head over heals for this Harry guy and showed in every movement he had. 

"I think I'm going to go take a rest. Maybe after I wake up, you can help me clean the stitches, Liam?" Zayn asked hopefully as he carefully got up, holding his chest tightly in his arms. 

"I was actually going to ask Liam if he wanted to go out with me for the day?" Harry stated, looking over at Liam with a small smile. Liam smiled back at Harry before looking back at Zayn and saying,

"Niall probably can help you, if you need anything, Zayn," Niall nodded unsure, seeing the doctor hadn't shown him how to clean the bandages, only Liam had been shown. 

"Yeah, um, sure. I'm just going to go take a nap. I'll, uh, see you later," Zayn looked down at his feet as he walked carefully back to his room. The doctor had told him to take it easy and he definitely didn't want to end up back in the hospital any time soon. Zayn carefully crawled into the bed, which seemed too big with out Liam laying beside him, and quickly fell asleep.

______________________

Harry and Liam walked hand in hand down the busy streets of London, paps following closely behind, shouting loudly at the couple to try to get pictures for all the popular gossip magazines. Harry gripped Liam's hand tightly as they stepped into a small bakery that sold the best cupcakes, in Liam's opinion. Liam smiled at Harry knowing that he was going to get one of his favorite treats soon.

"I'm still not used to having paps following us around," Liam blushed as Harry walked them over to the counter to pick which cupcake they wanted.

"I'm just happy they didn't really bother us too much. I'm pretty sure that if I was by myself I would have been mobbed," Harry chuckled. The couple browsed the cupcakes before deciding on a red velvet with cream cheese frosting for Harry and a chocolate cupcake with coffee flavored icing for Liam. 

"I haven't had one of these in forever," Harry moaned as he took the first bite out of the cupcake. Liam giggled and wiped at some frosting that was on his upper lip. Harry blushed at the action and the two boys finished their cupcakes in silence. 

"Um, Liam, I have to ask you something," Harry said softly, reaching for Liam's hands with a sigh. 

"What's wrong, Haz?" Liam asked worriedly, trying to think of what was on Harry's mind.

"Do you like Zayn?" Harry blurted. Harry watched as Liam's face paled. 

"Um, yeah, Harry. He's one of my friends, of course I like him," Liam rushed out, avoiding eye contact with the curly haired singer across the table.

"Liam, you and I both know that's not what I mean. I see the way he looks at you when you're with me. I can tell he has feelings for you, I can tell you have feelings for him as well. Is... is it because I'm not around that much anymore? You know I can't help it, it's my career. I have to tour and please my fans, you know this, Liam. Please just tell me the truth," Harry pleaded and Liam felt his eyes sting with tears. 

"Harry, I- I didn't mean for this to happen. I love you, you know this. It's just I haven't seen you in months and you never would respond to my calls or my texts," Liam was sobbing now, he didn't care if people saw him. "It's just that Zayn has... there's just something about him that makes me want to get to know him. There's something about him that makes me feel like he needs me and that I'm what he needs in his life. Harry, I didn't want to tell you this but I kissed him," Liam's voice broke. "I kissed him, and I know I'm stupid and I swear I have feelings for you it's just that you haven't been there for me in so long.... I messed everything up because ever since that kiss I've have such strong feelings for him. But the problem is I have such strong feelings for both of you. Harry I'm so sorry," Liam cried. 

Harry sighed, looking at his boyfriend cry was hard for him. He got up from his seat and walked over to Liam's side you wrap him in his arms. 

"Liam, Li, babe, I'm so sorry I made you feel this way. You know I hate giving you excuses for not being around and I'm sorry. When I came in this morning I walked up to your room and I saw that you weren't in your bed. I assumed that maybe you had stayed the night at the hospital with Zayn again and Niall had just forgotten to text me, but I don't know why I did this but I walked down to Zayn's room. Liam you were all cuddled up with Zayn. I knew that you had feelings for him, Liam. You had him all wrapped up in your arms and for some reason, I don't know why, it just made me happy to see you like that. I've seen the paps take some pictures of you while I was gone and Liam, you looked awful. But now you look so much better and I know it's because of him. He fixed you Liam, and now it's your turn to fix him," Harry held Liam close as he told him this. Liam's eye's were all swollen now, no more tears were left to fall from is big brown eyes. 

"Harry, I'm so sorry," Liam hiccuped.

"I want you to be with Zayn, Liam. He makes you happy and I want to be sure that you are happy," Harry whispered, kissing Liam's head.

"Haz, I love you so much. I promise you I still love you. It's just more of a brotherly way now," Liam smiled softly up at Harry. 

"I'm not going anywhere, Liam. We'll always be best friends don't worry," Harry smiled, "Ready to go back to yours?"

Liam nodded and hugged Harry just a little bit tighter before they walked back out into the cold London air, paps close behind them.

_______________________

When Zayn woke a couple hours later his chest felt tight, making it painful just to breathe. Zayn tried frantically to catch his breath, just to be able to cry out for help, knowing there was no way he could get up with the flaming pain in his chest. He was wheezing hard, making his chest vibrate with each intake of air into his lungs.He began coughing, which only burned his lungs even more. At some point during his struggles he felt his mind become fuzzy as his mind slipped away from him once again.

______________________

It had been a couple hours since Zayn had went to take his nap, when Niall decided he should go check up on him. 

"Zayn? Buddy, I think you should get up now, other wise you won't be able to sleep tonight," Niall called as he walked into Zayn's room and flicked on the lights. 

"Zayn?" Niall called again as he walked up to Zayn's body before he let out a shout of, "Jesus Christ! Zayn come on buddy, oh my god! Zayn! Oh my god, oh my god!" Before running to grab his cell phone to call for an ambulance. Once they told him one was on the way he went back to Zayn to make sure he was still breathing, he had no idea when Zayn had lost consciousness but by seeing the blood that scattered across the sheets was enough to scare the living daylights out of Niall. 

He heard the sirens pull up to the house and ran to let them in. He was surprised to see the same men from the last time Zayn had needed to be transported to the hospital. 

"Please tell me it's not Zayn again," The short man said, Connor, if Niall remembered right. 

"I don't know what happened but he went in to take a nap a few hours ago and I just went in to go wake him up and stuff and I saw blood all over his sheets and he won't respond to me and I'm just, oh my god there was so much blood, so much blood," Niall whimpered before his mind started to get fuzzy and the next thing he knew he was passed out. 

____________________

"Niall? Zayn? Hello?" Liam called out as he and Harry walked back into the house. The pair walked further into the eerily quiet house, trying to figure out where the two boys could have gone. 

Just when Liam was about to text Niall asking where he was, his phone started ringing. 

Louis

Popped up on his screen and Liam immediately answered it. He hadn't heard or seen him in weeks.

"Liam? Liam, it's Lou, I just wanted to let you know that I'm at the hospital with Niall and Zayn," Louis spoke quickly.

"Wait, what? Louis why are you at a hospital?! Louis what happened?" Liam asked frantically, pushing Harry out of his way so he could get back in his car. Harry followed quickly behind Liam, trying to figure out what was happening. 

"I guess Zayn had some more complications with his lungs and he passed out and when Niall found out he called the medics. But I guess our little Nialler is afraid of blood because he passed out and ended up coming in another ambulance with Zayn. You can come over whenever, Zayn is back out of surgery and Niall is just building up his strength now, he's just dizzy and getting fluids now," Louis explained quickly and Liam sighed. 

"What floor?" Liam asked as he pulled out of the driveway and towards the hospital. 

"The fourth floor, room twelve, for Zayn and room thirteen for Niall. I guess I'll see you soon," Louis answered and Liam thanked him before hanging up. 

"Let's go see what's happening," Liam sighed before kicking up his speed and hurrying to the hospital.


	14. FOURTEEN

Liam walked into the hospital and walked straight to the elevator with Harry hot on his tail. Liam had choppily filled him in on the quick car ride about something with Zayn, blood, and Niall, and that had been enough for him to figure out what had happened. 

"Zayn," Liam called as he walked into the room. Louis was sitting in the chair next to Zayn, but Zayn appeared to be sleeping, or still knocked out. "How is he?" Liam asked as he walked over and picked up Zayn's thin hand and rubbed his thumb over his knuckles.

"The doctors said that another hole had appeared in his lung, which made it had for him to breathe and seeing he had just had surgery, when he began wheezing be popped the stitches. The doctor told me that if Niall hadn't found him when he did, there was a strong possibility he could've had serious brain trauma. But he's stabilized again, he just fell back asleep actually, which is good. He needs his rest," Louis explained. 

"Oh god," Liam whispered and looked down at Zayn's pale face. "I knew I should've stayed home with him today, he just got out of a hospital for crying out loud! Oh, this is all my fault! I finally get him and I can't even tell him."

"Wait. What?" Louis questioned, looking back and forth between Harry and Liam. 

"Ah, we broke up today... I mean obviously we're good and we promised to still be close, it's just that I could see how much he likes Zayn," Harry answered quickly so Liam wouldn't have to. 

"Oh," Louis looked perplexed, but then just blew it off by saying, "I'm going to go check on Nialler, he seemed sort of spooked when he woke up in the hospital."

"I'll come with you, actually," Harry stated, wanting to leave Liam and Zayn alone together, even if Zayn couldn't actually respond because he had those awful breathing tubes down his throat once again. The two left quietly while Liam replaced Louis' spot in the chair with himself as he watched Zayn sleep peacefully. 

______________________

It felt like an eternity later, but Zayn did eventually wake up, and even though he still had the breathing tube in, as soon as his eye's met Liam's he started gurgling nonsense to Liam. 

"Shh, Zayn, you're okay, now. You have a breathing tube in so you can't talk but you're okay, please relax," Liam soothed Zayn as tears formed in his eyes. "Oh, Zayn," Liam cooed softly before carefully stroking Zayn's dull face. After a while Zayn's face relaxed and Liam opened his mouth, "Apparently when you went to take your nap, you popped your stitches from a cough or something and the doctor's found another hole, so you had to have an emergency operation... again. But you're okay now. The doctor's said you had to stay here over night with the breathing tube, just to give your lungs a rest, but your going to be okay," Liam soothed Zayn.

Zayn nodded carefully and just then Louis walked in, supporting a very tired looking Niall. Zayn looked ever confused as he looked at Niall's wardrobe, a hospital gown just like Zayn, before looking up at Liam for answers. 

"Uh, Niall was the one who found you passed out, and I guess we found out the hard way that Niall doesn't like the sight of blood... but I'm not quiet sure why you're head is bandaged? Niall?" Liam asked worriedly. 

"Um, I guess when I fell, even though one of the paramedics caught me, I still hit my head on the side of the stairs so I had to make sure I didn't have a concussion and had to get some stitches. But I'm fine. How are you feeling Zayn?" Niall questioned as Louis guided Niall over to the seat next to Zayn's bed. Zayn just shrugged and blinked his eyes slowly. 

"If you're tired please go back to sleep, it will speed up your recovery, too. Doctor's said," Louis smiled softly and Zayn looked up at Liam worriedly. 

"It's fine, Zayn, if you're tired please rest, we'll just relax here. It's fine," Liam whispered softly into Zayn's ear while rubbing Zayn's knuckles with his thumb. Zayn nodded slowly and quickly dozed off.

"Is he really that wary of me?" Louis asked softly. 

Liam sighed, "What do you expect, all you ever did was make fun of him and make him feel like shit and then all of the sudden you walk in here all smiley and willing to help."

Louis nodded slowly, looking at the hospital floor. "I really was a prick to him, wasn't I?" Louis looked up to see all three boys who were awake nodding, Niall looking at him like he had three heads. 

"Mate, you scared him worse that when Zayn found out Liam had a boyfriend after Liam kissed him," Niall said with big eyes. "Shit, sorry."

"It's fine, Niall, I already told Harry everything. By the way, Harry and I-"

"Broke up, parted ways, split, don't worry I'm not that far out of the loop," Niall smirked before looking up at Louis. "Seriously, though mate, Zayn was scared to hell by you."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going to try to fix it," Louis frowned. "I just, I was so scared knowing that he had the same addiction problems as Liam. I didn't want him to fall back into his past." Liam shot Louis a look before looking over at Harry, who's eyes were wide. 

"Wait, what?" Harry asked. Louis' eyes widened as he realized his slip up. 

"Liam, Li, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to tell him," Louis rushed out as Liam's face paled and tears formed in his eyes.

"Why don't you just tell him everything, Louis? It's not like I wanted to erase that part of my past from my memory or anything, please do tell him," Liam's voice shook. 

"Liam, please don't cry. I'm not going to judge you for your past, you clearly have recovered. I was only surprised because I've been trying to figure out why Zayn was so skinny. It just all clicked in place. Liam, I'm not angry at you," Harry soothed Liam, wrapping him in a tight hug. Liam's eyes still watered, but not out of fear anymore, it was out of gratefulness. 

"You really are a great friend," Liam sobbed into Harry's shoulder as he rubbed Liam's muscular back soothingly. 

______________________

The next day, after Zayn had his breathing tube removed, the doctor listened to his chest, and he had his prescription in hand for new pain meds and a decongestant, Liam was pushing Zayn out to his car in a wheel chair. The doctor wanted him to take it easy, hence why he was in the chair. 

"So I guess I should take you home first, and then I can run to get your prescription filled," Liam stated as he helped Zayn buckle in, seeing his chest was sore from surgery. 

"No, I mean, can't we just stop at the pharmacy before we get back to your place?" Zayn asked with a rasp. Liam paused for a minute before realizing that Zayn was scared. Last time he left Zayn at home he ended back up at the hospital.

"Okay, I'm sure it wont take long," Liam smiled over at Zayn before driving to the pharmacy. Once he had both prescriptions filled he got back in the car and drove himself and Zayn back home. "Where do you want me to put you? Living room or your room?" Liam asked as he helped Zayn unbuckled and get out of the car. 

"Um, I don't mind, either one is fine," Zayn said and Liam nodded. 

"It's nearly time for me to start making dinner so I can put you on the sofa so that if you need anything," Liam stated as he helped Zayn into the house and laid him so that his chest was elevated on the couch. "Is this comfortable?" Liam questioned as he fixed the cushions and pillows around Zayn.

"It's perfect, thanks," Zayn smiled softly before Liam nodded and walked into the kitchen to start making pasta, seeing Zayn had said earlier he wanted some. 

Niall had come in and out, same as Harry, seeing he does live here too, when he's not touring that is. 

"I moved my things out of your room and put them into the guest room today. I figured it would make more sense seeing, you know, we aren't dating anymore," Harry stated as he helped Liam drain the pasta and stir in the sauce. 

"Oh, okay. I figured you were busy doing something today seeing I hardly saw you," Liam responded with a smile. "Thank you for being so nice about this whole thing."

"No problem, Liam. I just want you to be happy. Besides, I, uh, I think I'm already got my eyes set on somebody new," Harry blushed.

"Oh yeah?" Liam teased, "Do I know said person?"

"I'm not telling you. I don't wannt jinx it," Harry smirked as Liam sulked. 

"Fine, be that way," Liam pouted. 

"Don't you have a boy out in the living room who needs to take his pain meds soon?" Harry teased and Liam narrowed his eyes.

"We're not done with this conversation, Haz," Liam threatened and Harry just laughed. 

Liam grumbled as he put some pasta in a bowl for Zayn and grabbed a glass of water and two pain pills. 

"Hey, Zayn. Look what I made," Liam smiled as he helped Zayn into a sitting position. 

"I knew I smelt pasta!" Zayn smiled and started eating right away. 

"Don't forget to take your meds. I'm going to get myself some food and then I'll be back," Liam smiled before getting up and walking into the kitchen. 

"I've been waiting forever to have some of your pasta, Li," Niall mumbled around a mouth full of pasta. 

"Well, good. I don't want any left overs, eat away," Liam smiled as he scooped some into his own bowl and walked back out to the living room to sit with Zayn. 

"This is really good," Zayn complemented as he finished up his bowl. 

"Thanks, Zayn," Liam smiled before quickly finishing his own pasta. "You took your meds, right?" Liam questioned, again.

Zayn rolled his eyes teasingly, "Yes, daddy."

And okay, maybe Liam's mind drifted for a few seconds at the statement. 

"Tough crowd, tough crowd," Liam tried to play off his delay of a response before turning to Zayn. "I just don't want you to hurt."

"Aww, Liam," Zayn blushed, "You're really sweet." Liam blushed at that as well. 

"Um, maybe it's time we get to bed, it's been a long day," Liam smiled as he helped Zayn up from the couch and walked close to him to make sure he didn't fall. As soon as they walked into Zayn's room, Liam's face blanched. 

"Uh," Zayn sighed before looking up at Liam, "do you have spare sheets?"

"No... I forgot about this, sorry," Liam sighed. "You can sleep in-" Liam cut himself off. There was no guest room anymore, Harry was in it now. "You can sleep in my room, with me. If, uh, it makes you more comfortable," Liam blurted nervously. 

"Uh, sure. But, uh, what about Harry?" Zayn asked, concerned. 

"Oh Harry moved into the guest room today," Liam said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Zayn looked up at him confused, "Why?"

"Um, me and Harry, we kinda broke up, I guess," Liam scratched the back of his head awkwardly. 

"It's not because of me, was is?" Zayn asked nervously. 

"No, well, kind of, but not really," Liam face palmed. "He noticed that I liked you and he said he wanted me to be happy and he also told me he had eyes for someone new already, so." Zayn nodded carefully.

"To your room?" Zayn asked and Liam smiled. 

"Do you think you can do the stairs or do you want me to carry you?" Liam asked carefully, not wanting to hurt Zayn's feelings. 

"Um, I think you should carry me, you know, just to be sure," Zayn blushed and Liam, without missing a beat, scooped Zayn into his arms. Zayn let out a laugh and wrapped his arms around Liam's neck for support. 

"So, do you know who Harry has his eyes set on?" Zayn asked as they walked to Liam's room, even though they were no longer going up the stairs, Liam hadn't put his down yet. 

"He wont tell me, so I don't know," Liam sighed as he placed Zayn carefully down on his bed. 

"I think it's Louis," Zayn stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Wha- What?" Liam sputtered, looking throw his drawers for warm pajamas for both Zayn and him. 

"I don't know I can see it happening," Zayn shrugged. Liam sighed and pulled out a warm sweater for Zayn and plaid pajama pants, and the same pajama pants in blue, for himself - he doesn't like sleeping in shirts when the heat is on in the house. 

"Here, you go, Zayn," Liam handed him the change of clothes before heading to his bathroom to change. 

"You don't have to leave," Zayn said quickly, blushing. "I mean it's not like you've already seen me naked, right?" Zayn stated awkwardly. Liam blushed deep red before nodding. 

"I was just going to go brush my teeth," Liam stated. And oh, awkward. 

"Oh, okay, sorry," Zayn blushed deeper before Liam walked into his bathroom to do whatever he wanted to do. Zayn quickly changed his pants before realizing that he couldn't get his shirt off with out hurting himself. Liam walked out of the bathroom, shirtless, with his pajama pants hanging low on his hips and goddamn, Zayn would be lying if he said it wasn't a hot sight. 

"Um, Liam, can you help me get my shirt off, it hurts when I try to move too much," Zayn blushed, looking down as Liam walked closer. 

"Of course," Liam smiled as he carefully pulled Zayn's loose shirt off and replaced it with the heavy grey sweater. 

"Thank you," Zayn blushed, and at this point his face had to be a deep red. 

"No problem," Liam said as he walked over to his side of the bed and laid down. Zayn sighed and turned off the bedside lamp before trying to fall asleep. And so what if he dreamt about a shirtless Liam kissing the life out of him while they were on the beach, nobody had to know.


	15. FIFTEEN

About a week had gone by since Zayn's second incident, which brought them a week closer to Christmas. And by a week closer to Christmas that meant it was two days away. Liam was panicking. 

Zayn, for one thing, had been refusing to take his pills and Liam was so close to just shoving them down his damn throat. Of course, he would do it in the nicest way possible. 

But besides that, a certain Pakistani boy wouldn't let Liam leave his sight for more than fifteen minutes without panicking. Liam figured it was because he couldn't inhale any of the drug that controlled his life for more than a year anymore, he was latching onto Liam for comfort. Not to mention Liam had no problem holding Zayn tight when he had melt downs because his skin was itching or his head was throbbing. Liam of course just reminded Zayn that if he took the pain meds he wouldn't feel any of the effects of withdraw, but Zayn wanted to hear nothing of it. All he wanted was to be pressed flushed against the older man, so close that when he rested his head down on Liam's chest he could hear his heartbeat. In response of Zayn's clingy-ness, Liam had hardly done any holiday shopping. 

Liam also was lacking in holiday meals, decorations, treats and alcoholic beverages, for those old enough to drink. The one thing Liam had been able to do was put up the Christmas tree. He silently blessed Harry for buying a fake tree last Christmas because there was no way he would have been able to go get a tree at a farm and back without Zayn having a panic attack, which nobody wanted seeing his lungs were still so weak. But Zayn had sat on the couch helping Liam go through ornaments and different colored garland until the golden star was placed perfectly on top.

Because of all this stress Liam had bottled up, maybe he may have exploded in Zayn's face when he asked to cuddle Liam first thing when he woke up.

The fight had gone somewhat along the lines of, "Zayn, I can't. I have a lot to do today," from Liam, and Zayn had just shrugged it off seeing he knew he was being a little over baring, but all he asked was for ten minutes of Liam's time. But then when Zayn had taken his time going downstairs, seeing his chest still felt tight if he twisted oddly or worked himself too much he found it hard to breathe for a while following it. Zayn had walked into the kitchen, where he found Liam searching through his drawer where he kept all of Zayn's medication and medical bills frantically. "Zayn where are your medications? You need to take them, meds aren't cheap Zayn and I don't need you getting yourself back into the hospital because of your foolish decisions," Liam had nearly growled out, "Medical bills aren't cheap." Zayn had frowned before looking over Liam's outfit. "Where are you going?" He had asked nervously, looking at Liam all bundled up in a sweater and thick worn sweats. "I need to go get things from the shops for my family, Zayn. They're coming over tomorrow seeing it's going to be Christmas Eve, now Nial's going to be home with you and I expect you'll be fine for a couple hours while I'm out. And please take your pills, but eat something first. I'll see you later," Liam had grabbed his keys and walked swiftly to the front door before Zayn could udder a word. 

And maybe that didn't really seem like a fight, but in Zayn's eyes it was. Liam had yelled at him and didn't even give him a hug goodbye like he normally would, even if he was just going to shower and shave, Zayn needed reassurance because Zayn was weak and everyone knew it except for Zayn. Until now and the idea was crushing him. 

And now an hour later, Zayn had made himself some toast, while crying, swallowed down the three pills he had to take in the morning, while crying, bathed, careful of not getting his stitches wet, while crying and now here he was standing in front of Niall's door, knocking, while crying. 

Niall had opened his door with a smile but as soon as he took in Zayn's facial expression his face fell. 

"Oh, Zayn, what's wrong? Please stop crying, you're going to overwork your lungs," Niall had pulled Zayn into a hug but Zayn quickly fought back to get out of the grip, pulling at his stitches in the process, but he didn't care. He didn't want anyone to hug him besides Liam. 

"N-Niall?" Zayn had sobbed out as he rubbed his red eyes with the end of the sweater Liam had allowed his to wear. Niall nodded, telling him to continue, "Do you think that I'm weak?" 

"Why would you ask that, Zayn?" Niall asked, confused. "I mean, maybe you are right now, but you just has surgery, you need people to help you out to make sure you can get better."

"Does-Does Liam hate me?" Zayn sobbed out, reaching of Niall, so that he could pull him close, but Niall knew better than to hold him tightly back, he learned the first time Zayn didn't like anyone other than Liam holding him that way. 

"Why would you ever think something like that, Zayn? Of course, he doesn't hate you, nor could he ever," Niall tried to soothe him. Zayn just cried into Niall's shirt, not quiet tall enough to rest his head on his shoulder, just like Liam, so he could hear the gentle thudding of his heart. "Why don't we go lay down in my room and I can put on some cartoons that you like and we can just hang out until Liam gets back," Niall suggested. Zayn nodded and allowed Niall to guide him into his room. Zayn let out a sob as Niall let go of him and went to turn on the tv and grab extra throw blankets from his closet. 

"Zayn, if you don't stop crying, I'm going to have to call Liam and tell him he needs to come get you," Niall said sternly.

"No! No, Niall please don't! He's gonna get mad at me," Zayn sobbed out, trying to get out of bed to grab at Niall's arm as he pulled out his phone. 

"Zayn, please, you're stressing over nothing. You're going to get yourself sick," Niall pleaded and Zayn nodded in response, making grabby hands for Niall. The Irish lad sighed and got into the bed next to Zayn, who quickly attached himself to his body, head on his chest, arms wrapped tightly around Niall's thin torso. It wasn't the same; Niall didn't feel firm and warm and his heart didn't speed up a little when Zayn turned to nuzzle his face into his chest. Somehow Zayn eventually fell asleep and Niall carefully grabbed his phone from the bedside table and sent Liam a text asking how long he would be. 

It took Liam a while to respond, seeing he was already driving back home, but he stopped at a stop sign and sent a response saying it would be only a couple more minutes. Niall sighed and didn't bother responding before he moved his hands to run his fingers through Zayn's slightly damp hair.

Niall's phone buzzed "Stay in ur room .. I bought presents 4 u guys an u cant c them ha hah" The blond lad sighed and pulled another throw blankets over Zayn and himself before carefully moving into a comfortable position to watch the cartoons on the tv.

Niall heard the front door close and sighed. Liam was a perfectionist when it came to wrapping presents and normally took much longer than need be, Niall was just hoping that Liam would wrap the presents for he and Zayn first so that they wouldn't be stuck in this room for the rest of the day.

Niall was surprised when less than a half hour later Liam was knocking at his door. "Come in, Liam," Niall called out a bit too loudly as he felt Zayn stir next to him.

"Hmmm, Liam?" Zayn called out blindly, hlding his arms out for a cuddle. 

"He's here now, Zayn," Niall soothed the younger boy as Liam walked in. Zayn's eyes slowly opened and as soon as his eyes fell onto Liam he let out a soft cry and pouted.

"Liam!" He exclaimed happily, before remembering what happened earlier today. 

"Hey, Zayn," Liam smiled and Niall sighed in relief.

"Liam can we cuddle now?" Zayn asked quietly as Niall helped him get out from under all the throw blankets.

"Zayn, I have to get all the meals prepped for tomorrow so that all I have to do is put them in the oven," Liam sighed and Zayn felt his eyes burn with tears.

"Why don't you like me anymore?" Zayn cried out as he stumbled over to a very confused Liam. Liam shot a look at Niall who shrugged and walked out of the room to go use the bathroom. 

"Zayn, why would you say that? I'm so sorry Zayn, but we can cuddle after I make the meals for tomorrow. It would be quicker if Harry hadn't left for his mom's place last night, but it shouldn't take to long," Liam tried to soothe the crying boy. Zayn just held onto Liam tighter and Liam groaned. He scooped down and cradled Zayn in his arms and walked carefully out to the living room. 

"We can cuddle after?" Zayn asked childishly, and then it all clicked in Liam's mind.

"Zaynie, are you feeling alright? Do you feel sick?" Liam asked, worriedly. Zayn smiled at the nickname and just looked up at Liam. "Zayn, do you feel sick?" Liam asked again when he just got a blank, but happy stare for a response. Liam reached down and felt at Zayn's forehead before muttering a "Fuck" and calling Niall down to go warm up the car.

"Shit, fuck, damn it Zayn! This is why you take your pills! You probably have an infection or something because of it!" Liam groaned, as he scooped up Zayn in his arms. Zayn clung to Liam happily as Liam grabbed the throw blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped Zayn in it. 

"Niall, grab Zayn's medication too, I need you to drive us to the emergency room, please. C'mon, Niall hurry up!" Liam rushed out as he carefully stuffed his phone, wallet and insurance into his back pockets before following Niall out into the cold air outside. 

It felt like forever when Niall finally pulled into a parking spot. Niall quickly grabbed the meds from the passengers seat, and Liam carefully got out of the back seat with Zayn still clinging to him. Liam thanked the lord when he saw there wasn't a line at the reception desk and walked right over. He handed her over the copy of his insurance, he had recently gotten Zayn added to his own seeing it helped him save a crap load of money, and briefly told the lady what he thought was wrong. 

"Liam?" Zayn asked, resting his sweaty forehead against Liam's neck, "am I going to die?"

"What? No, of course not! Zayn, don't ever say anything like that ever again," Liam sighed and held Zayn closer. Zayn nodded and dozed off in Liam's arms. No more than fifteen minutes later, a doctor came out and called Zayn's name. Liam stood up with Zayn in his arms and had Niall put the meds on Zayn's lap so that Liam could go in with Zayn.

The doctor had thanked Liam for bringing in all of Zayn's medications and checked all of Zayn's vitals, noting that Zayn's heartbeat was a bit faster than normal and that his temp was quiet concerning. Zayn had woken up halfway through getting his eyes checked, complaining about the bright light.

"You mentioned that you think Zayn might have an infection, is Zayn taking an antibacterial medication in addition to these meds? Because my records say that he recently had a surgery, and that would explain his fever and clingyness. I would just like to get a urine sample to make sure before I prescribe him anymore pills," The doctor said and Liam nodded. Zayn unwillingly went into one of the small bathrooms and filled the cup for the doctor before walking over to Liam and cuddling into his side. 

"Zayn, why don't you go sit back on the table so that the doctor can check your stitches," Liam coaxed, getting up with Zayn and standing by the bed. The doctor checked over Zayn's stitches and said that they did appear slightly red and puffy, which indicated they were infected and told them he would get a gel to put over the stitches until they were removed as they waited for the results of the urine test. 

A nurse walked in a few minutes later and handed the doctor a stack of papers before exiting. The doctor quickly thumbed through the pages nodding before pulling out a pad and writing down a prescription for an antibacterial gel as well as another pill to keep the infection from spreading anywhere else, like into Zayn's blood stream. Liam thanked the doctor and had him call in the prescription before they left so they could just pick it up from the pharmacy.

"Have a good holiday, boys," The doctor said as the two left the room and got back in the waiting room to get Niall. The Irish lad quickly got up and walked over to the boys.

"What was wrong?" Niall asked, concerned.

"His stitches got infected, so that explains the fever and that's why he's so clingy. But he should be fine as long as he takes his pills," Liam sighed as he led the pouty Zayn out to the car. "Mind stopping at the pharmacy so I can pick up his prescription?" Liam asked and Niall nodded, and took a left instead of a right. 

When the boys got home the first thing they did was give Zayn something to eat and a pill. Zayn complained when Liam left his side to go get the meals ready for tomorrow, but promised he'd cuddle with him once he was done. It took nearly three hours to prepare all the meals and bake all the brownies and cookies, but Zayn was still waiting patiently for his cuddles from Liam. 

Niall ordered pizza on the eve of Christmas Eve for the three boys, and once it came, Liam came out of the kitchen with paper plates and napkins, seeing all the silverware and dishes were being saved for tomorrow. Zayn put down the slice he was currently eating and opened his arms for Liam. The older man smiled and hugged Zayn back before grabbing his own slice of pizza. Once the pizza pie was finished the two boys went up to Liam's room to cuddle, like promised.

Which made Zayn very, very, very happy.


	16. SIXTEEN

When Zayn woke up the next morning, the first thing he noticed was that he was cold. Then he noticed that Liam wasn't cuddled up to him. Zayn frowned and walked into Liam's master bath to brush his teeth. Once he finished he dressed himself quickly, careful of not pulling his stitches and walked downstairs to get his pills. 

Once he got downstairs, he walked into the kitchen and found Liam buzzing around, stirring pot and setting timers. Zayn smiled before walking in and carefully grabbing at Liam's arm.

"I was cold when I woke up," Zayn pouted, fluttering his eye lashes up at Liam. Liam sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. 

"You were sick yesterday, I didn't want you to keep from sleeping," Liam smiled down at the shorter boy. "I'll go get your pills," Liam continued, pulling his arm free from Zayn.

"That's why I was coming down here. I wanted to impress you," Zayn sulked as he sat on one of the bar stools and waited for Liam to get all his pills gathered and a glass of water. 

"I am impressed, it's not noon yet and you've gotten out of bed," Liam teased and Zayn shot him a look. "Hey, hey, I'm happy your finally taking them without a fight," LIam smiled and placed a quick kiss to Zayn's bed head before a timer went off and Liam was slipping on oven mitts to pull out some type of casserole, leaving Zayn, and his ever-obvious red cheeks, at the bar stool.

Zayn quickly swallowed the pills before hopping down from the bar stool and waltzed over to Liam. "What time did you say people were coming over at, again?" Zayn asked. He picked at his fingers, as his healing scabs itched. 

"Around two, they'll be here until nearly midnight though," Liam answered as he placed the casserole onto a mitt and closed the oven.

"Do you, um, think that, maybe I could," Zayn looked up at Liam for help, not wanting to say the words.

"Do you feel like you need some now, or maybe you could hold off for tomorrow? It's just, I know the buzz lasts longer than three hours," Liam tried to soothe Zayn, walking over to him and holding his arms by his sides to keep him from picking at his scabs from the injections. 

"What if I only take like a little bit? I don't to want to hold off and have it get bad when you have guests over. Also, I think I need to relax a bit before I meet you parents and siblings properly," Zayn groaned and leaned forward so that his head rested on Liam's chest, listening to the continuous thud of his strong heart. Zayn hoped he never saw the day Liam's beautiful heart stopped beating. 

"I'll go grab it, you go wait in our room," Liam sighed, pulling away from Zayn to stir the pot once more before exiting the room. Zayn smiled at the fact Liam called the room they shared 'ours' before walking carefully upstairs. Zayn sat at the end of their bed and let his knee bounce while he waited for Liam to come upstairs. 

"Sorry, I had Niall watch the stove. Um, I just made a short line for you. I mean, I don't know how your body responds to it, but I think this should be enough to carry you over," Liam held out the line of powder that was placed on top of a mirror and looked away as Zayn brought it up to his nose. Zayn hummed at the burning sensation before grabbing at his nose when it started to bleed. 

"Li-Liam, I think I need some tissues," Zayn spoke up as Liam turned around. He nodded and walked into the bathroom to grab some before handing them to Zayn. Liam pulled the tube filled with medicine to clean Zayn's stitches and rewrap them seeing they were already by themselves.

"Lay down on your back, I'm going to clean your stitches," Liam stated the obvious and the slightly strung-up Zayn nodded and laid back. Liam quickly changed the bandages before pulling Zayn's sweater back down. "I'm not sure what you want to do right now, but I need to get the turkey in the oven so that it's ready for dinner. That's were I'll be if you need me," Liam stated softly as Zayn nodded up at him and smiled. 

"I think I'm going to go watch tv," Zayn smiled. He felt a familiar buzz fog his brain, but he still knew he had control over himself. 

"Okay, I really need to go start the turkey," Liam pointed out the door, signaling his departure. Zayn nodded and laid on the bed for a few more minutes before going down to the living room to watch tv. 

____________________

Liam had just pulled the turkey out of the oven when he heard a knock at the door. He quickly placed the cooked bird on the stove and removed his oven mitts before quickly walking through the living room, where Zayn was sat talking to Niall animatedly about the Christmas special that was being aired. Liam walked over and got the two boys attention, telling them to fix the pillows and that his family was here. There was another knock at his door, followed by a shout, so Liam quickly walked away, leaving a worried Zayn in Niall's hands. 

"His family is nice, I swear. Besides, at least his dad knows that you've been in and out of the hospital, so he'll probably talk to you about that," Niall smiled, pulling Zayn into a hug. Zayn's high had only crashed an hour ago, but he still got bursts of energy before he felt like he needed another nap. 

"Liam! I haven't seen you in forever! I thought you forgot about us!" Zayn heard a woman's voice cry out, followed by Liam's laugh. Zayn smiled and moved so that he was sitting up by Niall, hoping that it would save him from being stuck between Liam's family. Zayn heard Liam tell his family to make themselves at home and he heard footsteps coming into the living room. 

"I didn't know you had other guests," Nicola smirked at Liam and walked over to the couch and sat right next to Zayn. She was dressed comfortably in basic grey skinny jeans and a deep red sweater with reindeer antlers coming from her head. "I know Niall, hi Niall, but I don't believe I've seen you around before," Nicola smiled, friendly enough and Zayn smiled back.

"'m Zayn," Zayn held out his hand for a hand only to be pulled into a tight hug by the much older blonde. "Um, ouch," Zayn whimpered as the sudden movement and Nicola immediately let him go. 

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! Are you okay?" She asked, worried. 

"Yeah, just I just had surgery so my stitches still pull a bit if I move too fast," Zayn blushed, looking down at his hands in embarrassment. 

"Oh you poor thing!" Another girl, Liam's other sister, Ruth, if Zayn remembered right.

"'m fine, just gotta be careful, ya know?" Zayn looked up with a smile. The two nodded and the six of them fell into a comfortable chat. Nicola had moved so that Liam could sit next to Zayn. Liam's parents seemed really nice, which Zayn was grateful for and talked about all different types of things. Around five o'clock Liam excused himself to go carve the turkey, which Nicola and his mother followed, saying they were going to help set the table and cook any last minute things. An hour later the six of them were seated around Liam's large dining room table, Niall on his right and Liam across from him. Liam filled wine glasses for everyone, except Zayn, seeing he was underage and on medication, 

"So Zayn, how old are you?" Ruth asked once everyone had started eating, noticing Zayn wasn't drinking while she poured herself a second glass of wine. Zayn looked up at Liam, confused before turning to look at Ruth. 

"Uh, seventeen. But my birthday's the twelfth so that should be fun," Zayn smiled. Nicola shot a look at Ruth.

"I didn't realize you were that young," Nicola stated and Liam's mother nodded in agreement.

"Shouldn't you be celebrating with your family? It is Christmas time," His mother spoke and Zayn smiled politely.

"My family doesn't celebrate Christmas," Zayn stated. It was true, to be honest his family would usually spend Christmas Eve at the movie theaters all day seeing hardly anyone was there. Plus, it was easier to just keep it at that then saying that his family kicked him out because of his drug problem. 

"Well, we're glad to be able to have you here with us today," Liam's mom smiled before going back to eating some of Liam's casserole. Zayn felt something hit his foot and looked up to see Liam smiling at him. Zayn smiled back and started cutting up his turkey. 

Once everyone was done, Zayn helped Niall wash dishes so that Liam and his family could relax and talk. Everyone ate some dessert and talked animatedly before they all gathered around the television to watch Frosty the Snowman, which was airing for the first time of the season, quiet late if you asked Zayn. It was around ten o'clock when Nicola announced that she had to head home. She was going to her fiance's house tomorrow to celebrate and had to be up early for the drive. Ruth was the next to leave, claiming that she had to still pick up a few things from the store for presents. Zayn and Liam were sat across from Liam's parents (Niall had gone to shower and get ready for bed). 

"So, Liam, I meant to ask where Harry was," Liam's dad asked. Liam smiled and looked down at Zayn to smile before looking back up at his father.

"We broke up, uh, like a few weeks ago. But were still friends. He's at his parents for the holiday," Liam explained and his dad nodded. 

"So, Zayn, how are your lungs?" His dad turned his attention back to Zayn.

"Uh, they're pretty sucky, not gonna lie. But I was an idiot and got my stitches infected so now I have more medications to take," Zayn smiled up at the older man. He nodded, taking notice that his wife was fighting off sleep. 

"What about your addiction? How are you working on that?" He asked and Zayn paled. What? How did he know about that? Zayn felt Liam tighten his grip on his knee as Zayn sputtered out nonsense. 

"What are you talking about, dad?" Liam nearly growled. His dad had no reason to bring that up. Not to mention Liam had no idea how his dad found out about it.

"Liam, Zayn, I'm not stupid. I was Zayn's doctor, if you forgot. We do blood tests when you come into the hospital. Drugs showed up in his system. Not to mention the fact that he's practically a walking skeleton! He clearly is still an abuser!" His dad went off, his voice raising at the end. Zayn felt himself shrink into the couch as Liam stood up and angrily pointed to the door. 

"I don't want you here anymore. It's the holidays, dad. We're supposed to be merry and stay together with our differences! I'll call you tomorrow. Besides it's late and snowing. I don't want you driving too late in this weather," Liam stated as he walked over to get his parents' coats. "I don't appreciate you attacking my friends."

"I wasn't attacking him! I was simply asking questions! He should be in rehab right now!" Liam's father pointed at a crying Zayn, who was curled up on the sofa, arms tightly around his chest. 

"Please, just, I'll call you later. It's late, be safe," Liam smiled at his mother who knew his father could be overbaring at times. 

"I'll call you later, sweetie. Stay warm," His mother kissed Liam's cheek and waved back at Zayn, who wasn't looking. She grabbed her husband's hand and pulled him out the front door. As soon as the door shut, Liam locked it for the night and quickly walked over to Zayn.

"Zayn, please don't cry. I promise he only was doing that because he's had too much to drink. I hate seeing you so upset," Liam sat down and grabbed Zayn so that he was cradled in his arms and ran a hand through his fluffy hair. 

"I-I don't want you to fight with your parents about me, Liam," Zayn whimpered and pulled at Liam's collar to hear Liam's heartbeat. Liam let him, even though he was stretching the collar out, he wanted to see Zayn smile. 

"I'm sure when I call tomorrow, he'll apologize and everything will be fine," Liam kissed Zayn's head and pulled him closer, careful so that he didn't twist his body to hurt his stitches. 

"Liam?" Zayn looked up at the older boy with big, sad eyes.

"What's wrong, Zayn?" Liam moved a hand to rest on Zayn's chiseled jaw to wipe at stray tears. 

"Kiss me," Zayn pleaded.

"What?" Liam responded dumbly. 

"Please, Liam, kiss me," Zayn's voice cracked as another sob went through his body. Liam smiled and without thinking connected to two's lips sweetly. It wasn't remotely as steamy as their first kiss, but it meant so much more to the pair. Liam pulled apart and smiled down at Zayn. "Again," Zayn said childishly, making Liam smile.

"Anything for you, Zaynie," Liam placed his lips down onto Zayn's once again for longer this time. There was no tongue involved, but Liam felt Zayn's lips slowly move to form a smile and Liam pulled back. 

"I like you a lot, Liam," Zayn blushed, "and I like when you call me that."

"Zaynie?" Liam questioned and Zayn nodded, looking up to met Liam's eyes. 

"Again?" Zayn asked once more, this time not waiting for a response from Liam. He just placed his lips innocently down onto his.


	17. SEVENTEEN

When Liam woke up the next day, Christmas day, he realized he was alone in his bed and frowned. He stretched stifly and then rolled out of bed, noticing it was nearing ten o'clock. Liam noticed that Zayn had made his side of the bed when he had gotten up and his pajamas were already in the hamper. Liam quickly threw on a festive sweater and walked downstairs to figure out where the boy had gone.

 

"Morning, Li!" Niall chirped from the couch as soon as Liam planted his foot on the first floor.

 

"Hey, Niall, have you seen Zayn? I-" Liam was cut off.

 

"He told me he wanted to be left alone for a few hours because he needed to finish something really important. Don't ask what, because I don't even know. Apparently Harry does, so maybe you can figure it out, seeing Zayn is locked up in his room right now," Niall explained. Liam sighed and plopped down next to Niall. Niall looked over at him and grinned, "Happy Christmas, by the way. Oh, and your mom called, but you were sleeping."

 

"Merry Kiss-my-ass, to you too, Nialler. I'll call them back later, I want Zayn to be able to witness it so he doesn't feel bad about me and my father getting into a fight," Liam groaned and buried his face in his hands. "You sure you don't know what Zayn's doing?" Liam asked sadly, looking up at Niall.

 

"Positive, all I know is that he's been working on it for a while, like a long time. When you’re locked up in your office working, Zayn goes upstairs and locks himself in Harry's room to do something. He's never told me what, but Harry always looks smug when they walk out like, hours later," Niall answered.

 

"What?" Liam sat up straight. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?! Oh my god, his Harry into Zayn?!" Liam stood up quickly but before he could go anywhere Niall grabbed him and pulled him back down.

 

"Liam James Payne what the hell are you on about? Do you seriously think Harry is into Zayn? Please, he and Louis never stop texting. Zayn said it’s a surprise and I know for a fact, he doesn't think of Harry in that way," Niall nearly growled out at his best mate. "Now, I suggest you do get something in your system, there’s a bunch of left overs in the fridge, because you aren't thinking straight. Are you hung over?"

 

"Niall I only had two beers last night," Liam snapped before standing up, "but, yeah, I think I need to eat something. Hopefully Zayn will be done doing whatever he's doing because we have presents to open."

 

"Ooooh, did you get him something special?" Niall followed, probably going to make another cup of tea before he started his day.

 

"You'll just have to wait and see, now won’t you," Liam sassed pulling out a bag of cold turkey. The two made their meals in silence while they waited for Zayn to come down. "How long does he normally stay in Harry's room?" Liam asked once he noticed nearly an hour had gone by.

 

"Mate, he normally is in there forever, like you work at least four hours a day, but he's been up since seven. It's nearly eleven now," Niall asked worriedly. "Maybe you should go get him? You know, it is Christmas, whatever he's doing must be really in a time crunch. Go check on him," Niall got up and dumped the remains of his tea down the sink drain before walking off to get dressed.

 

Liam sighed and cleared his spot before heading upstairs to where Harry moved. Liam walked up to the door and knocked softly. "Zayn? I know you're doing something right now, and I know you technically don’t celebrate Christmas, but we're going to open presents soon," Liam called, he heard Zayn shout something to acknowledge him but after a few seconds the door still hadn't opened. "I'm just gonna be in my room, come join me when you’re done. I woke up and you weren't there. I didn't get a cuddle."

 

Liam sulked as he walked to his room and sat at his bed. He stretched out after a couple moments and threw he hands behind his head and groaned. He closed his eyes and listened carefully to his surroundings, trying to pinpoint when Zayn would come in to cuddle and then go downstairs to open presents. Liam was worried that his present might scare Zayn away. If anything he hoped it would help lead things in the right direction, or maybe fling them face first into it. Liam really didn't mind which, as long as one of them happened. After a couple more minutes Liam heard Zayn shout out a 'yes! Finally! thank Allah!' before the sound of a door opening and rushed footsteps carried Zayn into Liam's room.

 

"Merry Chirstmas, Liam! I'm sorry I wasn't here to cuddle this morning, but I had to finish something really important. I'll tell you in a few days, you're going to love it," Zayn's smile was ear to ear and the older lad couldn't be mad at him.

 

"I won't mind a wait. Now come over here and come cuddle with me. I was lonely this morning," Liam pouted his lip, he knew Harry never could resist it, heck neither could anyone for that matter. Zayn jumped into bed next to Liam and Liam quickly wrapped him in his arms.

 

"'m comfy, Liam. I don't want to ever get up," Zayn sighed contently, snuggling closer.

 

"Well I hate to break it to you, Zayn, but Niall's waiting for us downstairs. The boy is like a toddler when it comes to presents," Liam laughed and leant down to nuzzle his face in Zayn's hair. "Your hair is getting thinker, Zayn. It's not as greasy anymore either," Liam smiled, knowing that Zayn was on his way to recovery.

 

"'m might need to get a haircut sometime soon. 's getting quite long," Zayn let out a yawn and Liam gasped.

 

"What time did you get up at today, Zayn?" Liam asked and Zayn's ears turned pink in embarrassment.

 

"Way too early, but I'm fine. I'll just nap after presents or something. I'll have to grab mine as well. I hid them," Zayn turned to look at Liam and smiled. Liam laughed at the boy before letting go of him and stretching his back.

 

"We should probably go downstairs. Niall probably going to start opening presents without us," Liam laughed and pulled Zayn up with him. He was still light, and very thin, but he was at least eating regularly now, and soon he'd be packing on pounds.

 

"There you two are! I was just about to go up after you! Come on, we're opening presents now," Niall jumped up from the couch as soon as they put their feet on the first floor again.

 

"I have to grab my presents, I'll be right back," Zayn smiled and slipped out of the room as Liam made his way over to Niall and sat down on the floor next to him.

 

"You really can't wait, can you?" Liam laughed and Niall grumbled, reaching for a box, clearly labeled for him. "You have to wait," Liam stated the obvious.

 

"I know, you idiot. I've been eyeing this all day. I know it's from you, too, so it must be good," Niall teased as Zayn walked back in. He looked over at Niall and frowned, "You weren't gonna start without me, right?"

 

"Of course not! Just wanted to get the feel of it, so I could see if it was what I thought it was," Niall explained as Zayn sat down, his two presents wrapped carefully by his side. “I’m gonna start getting the show on the road,” Niall smiled and started tarring at the wrapping paper.

“Who’s that one from?” Zayn asked as Niall continued to unwrap the present.

“Liam, so I have high hopes for this one,” Niall smirked and looked up at Liam as he tore the last piece of the festive paper off, and, maybe screeched. Well yeah, he definitely screeched. “Oh my god, Liam! Liam, I was kidding! I told you not to-! But you did! And you need to-! Liam!” Niall sprung off the ground and onto Liam, causing them to fall back in a fit of laughter. Zayn watched with bright eyes.

“You have to promise you won’t be on that system more than you spend time with me, otherwise I’m sending it to Louis’ place,” Liam teased as Niall climbed off of him and reached for the box and reread the words again and again.

“Liam, thank you so much. You’re honestly the best. I really wasn’t expecting this,” Niall cradled the new gaming system in his arms, rather awkwardly seeing it was such a large box.

“It’s no problem, really, Niall. I knew how badly you wanted it,” Liam smiled.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to top that now,” Zayn blushed as he handed Niall a small box, wrapped neatly with a bow. “Harry helped me wrap it, seeing I’m not really used to this Christmas thing yet.”

“I’m sure it’s great,” Niall smiled as he rested Liam’s gift behind him and graciously accepted Zayn’s gift. He carefully pulled of the wrapping paper, almost the complete opposite of the way he tore at Liam’s gift. “You really didn’t have to-”

“Yes, I did. You guys have helped me a lot in the past few weeks and I could never repay you for it. Now open it up,” Zayn smiled as Niall opened up the small box and popped off the lid.

Niall carefully lifted the braided leather bracelet and noticed a charm. He looked up at Zayn as he turned the charm over, quirking his eyebrow. Zayn blushed.

‘To my favorite (and only) Irish lad I know, happy Christmas, and have a rocking 2015 ! love, zayn :) x’ the charm read.

“Zayn, I love it! Now, help me put it on. I hope you know I’m never taking this off,” Niall smiled brightly as Zayn helped latch the bracelet around Niall’s tiny wrist.

Liam opened his gift from Niall next, a set of books Liam had talked about wanting, and of course, a pair of socks and a boxers, just like he had always done since they became friends. “You really shouldn’t have expected something else, mate, you should know me better by now,” Niall laughed as Liam unwrapped the next bow from him, condoms. Of course, Niall would do that. And Liam blushed and threw them at Niall’s head.

Liam opened Zayn gift next, and Zayn was nervous. Maybe he over did it? Maybe it wasn’t enough? Zayn wasn’t paying attention until Liam gasped as he pulled out another braided leather bracelet, once again with a charm on it. This time though it was engraved, not by a machine, but by Zayn himself.

‘You will never know how much you mean to me, zayn x’

Zayn knew he was pushing it when he shakily used the pen to write it, the e’s and y’s all crooked, but Liam didn’t seem to take notice in the small details as he reached for Zayn and pulled him close.

“Thank you so much, Zayn. I love it,” Liam smiled as Zayn hugged him back. Zayn helped him put the bracelet on, and then it was Zayn’s turn.

“Your other gift should be coming sometime soon,” Zayn explained, knowing that a stupid bracelet wasn’t enough to give Liam on Christmas.

“Guys, you really didn’t have to-“ Zayn started.

“Yes we did, now open my gift first,” Niall shoved a rather large box into Zayn’s hands and sat back with a big smile on his face.

“Niall,” Zayn smiled as he unwrapped the present and saw a gift card for a rather large amount sitting on top of a brand new sweater. “Niall,” Zayn smiled as he moved the gift card and pulled out the comfy looking black sweater, “I hope you know I’m never going to take this off. I love it.”

“I’m taking you shopping, next week as well, so you can get some more clothes. You’ve been living in Liam’s clothes since I’ve met you, and it’s about time we get you your own wardrobe,” Niall laughed and Zayn blushed. Sure, he was excited to be able to pick out some clothes that will actually fit him, but he very much enjoyed wearing Liam’s clothes.

“Thank you, Niall,” Zayn got up and hugged Niall before turning to Liam, who was holding out the last gift to Zayn.

Zayn smiled and took the small box and smiled when he saw how Liam had wrapped it, Niall was right when he said Liam was a horrible wrapper.

“I promise, what’s inside is all that matters, ignore the wrapping,” Liam read Zayn’s mind, making him laugh. Zayn pulled of the red paper and noticed it was a small, velvet box. Zayn looked up at Liam, who was fidgeting with his hands. Zayn opened the box and saw a ring. A very simple, silver band with a small black stone resting in the metal. Zayn pulled out the ring to examine it closer and saw that, much like Zayn’s gifts, it was engraved.

‘STREGTH,’ Zayn read. He ran his finger over the engraving, feeling the bumps in the metal where the words were.

“It’s a recovery ring. My dad gave it to me when I was recovering from my own demons. I figured you needed it more than me. Try it on, it should fit, if not I can get it adjusted or get you a chain to wear it as a necklace, whatever you prefer,” Liam explained and Zayn smiled. His eyes haven’t left the ring since he laid his eyes on it. So many emotions were coursing through him.

“Liam, I love it,” Zayn whispered, finally looking up at Liam, tears in his eyes. “This means so much to me. Liam,” Zayn stopped when he fell into Liam’s arms and sobbed, happy tears, thankfully.

“I wanted to give you something special,” Liam said as he gently ran his fingers through Zayn’s hair.

“You’re amazing, Liam,” Zayn struggled to get out, ‘I love you,’ Zayn wanted to add, but he knew he couldn’t. He still wasn’t sure if Liam felt the same way, no matter what people told him. Zayn rested his head on Liam’s chest, hearing the gentle thud of Liam’s heart and nuzzled closer. They stayed like that for a while longer, snuggled close until Liam pulled back with a smile.

“Why don’t you put that on and then grab your jacket, I want to take you somewhere,” Liam smiled as Zayn slid the ring onto his finger and followed him out of the house once he was bundled up.

_____________________

“Liam what are doing here? It’s freezing,” Zayn complained as he moved closer to Liam for warmth, and maybe a little bit of a cuddle.

“You’ll find out in a minute, yeah?” Liam laughed and wrapped an arm around Zayn, pulling him close. Liam walked Zayn to the park around the corner from Liam’s house, where Liam met Zayn the first time. Liam led him over to where Liam first saw him.

“Liam, why are we here? I’m cold,” Zayn whined as Liam led him over to the bench were Zayn had been living before Liam found him. “Why are we here?” Zayn questioned once again and Liam started to panic.

“Zayn?” Liam asked, getting Zayn’s attention.

“Yes Liam?”

“I have to ask you something, and I don’t want you to get mad or scared or runaway or anything, okay?” Liam asked and Zayn nodded, looking up at Liam with bright eyes.

“I would never run away from you, Liam,” Zayn smiled and sat down on the bench next to Liam.

“Be my boyfriend?”


	18. EIGHTEEN

Zayn sat on the bench, staring at Liam for a minute letting the words process in his brain because, what? Did Liam, the person Zayn as surely already too fond of, just really ask him that? Zayn realized he sorta, maybe, kinda left Liam hanging before he smiled largely and attacked Liam in a hug, causing the older lad to slip off the bench and into a pile of snow, Zayn landing on top of him.

“Yes! Liam!” Zayn all but shouted before he burst into a fit of giggles and went to climb off Liam to help him up, only to be pulled back down by the older lad and pulled into a tight hug.

“Thought you were just gonna leave me hanging there for a minute,” Liam blushed, or maybe it was just the cold. Either way Zayn thought Liam looked incredible and with his pale lips looking like they needed warming, he leaned forward and pecked his lips bashfully. Liam beamed once Zayn pulled back. “We should probably head back. It’s starting to snow again and we can cuddle by the fire when we get back, if you want,” Liam carefully stood up, pulling Zayn with him.

“Yeah sure, Liam,” Zayn smiled up at his boyfriend- holy fuck, Liam is his boyfriend- and yeah, it felt pretty nice knowing that.

As the new couple, well newly established couple, walked back, hands intertwined through thick mittens, Zayn couldn’t help but notice how much tinier he was compared to Liam. Zayn gripped Liam’s hand tighter as they made their way up the front steps, slipping a little on ice.

“Whoa, there Zayn, I don’t need you breaking any more bones. I finally got you and I won’t let anyone take me from your side from now on,” Liam promised, and hold up -- didn’t they just start dating like, say ten minutes ago? Well, Zayn thought, it’s not like this is there first time doing things, heck, when Harry and Liam were still a thing he and Liam were already inseparably close. It’s not like Zayn’s not going to let Liam say nice things to him, because they were boyfriends now, and really, Zayn just liked knowing that for real, he and Liam were boyfriends.

“Good to know my boyfriend is looking out for me,” Zayn grinned cheekily, and Liam’s face brightened.

“Always, boyfriend,” Liam lent down and kissed Zayn, and this time it took him a while to pull back.

____________________

A few weeks had passed and Liam and Zayn feel into their respective roles perfectly. The would wake up in each other’s arms (Zayn had never stopped sleeping in his own room after his last surgery) and prepare for their days separately before meeting up in the kitchen and cooking breakfast. Niall would usually come in once the pancakes, or whatever Liam had made that morning, were done and complain that there was too much love in the air and that they were slowly suffocating him. But Zayn and Liam knew he was still happy for the new couple.

“Zayn?” Liam called from the bathroom one morning, startling Zayn as he searched through the closet (filled with his own clothes, thanks to Niall – Not that he still didn’t wear Liam’s clothes more often than not), and quickly grabbed a shirt and threw it on before walking into the bathroom and seeing Liam look confused as he searched through a drawer where the hair products were usually stored.

“Yeah, Li?” Zayn asked, and yeah, they had started with calling each other by nicknames, granted they weren’t pet names, but they still annoyed the crap out of Niall with their ‘Zaynie’ this or ‘Li, babe’ that.

“Have you seen the shaving cream? I need a shave real bad, and it’s at the point where it hurts you when I kiss you. Have you seen it?” Liam asked as he closed the drawer and smiled up at his boyfriend. “Good morning by the way,” Liam grinned as he pulled Zayn in for a kiss. Zayn pulled back sooner than normal and Liam looked at him weird.

“Morning breath, babe,” Zayn laughed and scooted past him to grab his tooth brush. “I haven’t seen the shaving cream. Though now that you mention it, quiet like your look with a beard. It’s kinda weird though, makes me feel like I’m dating my dad or something, but I like it.”

And oh. Once again Zayn had called Liam dad, or at least hinted at it, and okay it definitely made his mind wander.

“Yeah, yeah, now that you mention it I do quite like the look of it. If you don’t mind it I think I’ll keep it for a while longer, or at least until your birthday, which by the way is coming up sooner than I thought it was. Eight days now, right? Then my little Zaynie will be able to go out with me and get a little tipsy,” Liam smiled at his younger boyfriend and laughed at his expression.

“I will not get tipsy, Liam Payne. I am a man, not some girl,” Zayn huffed around his tooth brush as he brushed at his teeth and spit the foam out into the sink.

“I don’t know, Z, your arse has been looking great in those jeans Niall let you buy. I’m not too sure I would call it very masculine,” Liam smirked as Zayn bit as his lip and turned to Liam.

“You think my arse looks good?” Zayn blushed as Liam came up to him and trapped him between the counter and his hard body. Zayn rested his hands on Liam’s shoulders as Liam cradled Zayn’s face in his hands.

“Everything about you looks good,” Liam groaned as he lent in to kiss Zayn, this time properly and Zayn was more than willing to comply.

“You really shouldn’t say things like that to me, I’m still a minor, Mister,” Zayn teased, slightly out of breath from the kiss. “Don’t want anyone trying to take me away from you.”

“Eight days, and then we don’t have to worry about that, now will we. Besides, I don’t think you’d let anyone take you from me, at least I would hope you wouldn’t. You mean so much to me, Z. It’s insane how much I care for you,” Liam caressed Zayn’s jawline, which was strangely smooth. Zayn might not have a lot of facial hair yet, but he still needed to shave occasionally. “Hey, Z?” Liam asked as he continued to rub at his face, causing him to close his eyes and relax.

“Yeah, babe?”

“Where did you put the shaving cream? I know you know where you put it, your stubble miraculously disappeared,” Liam chuckled as Zayn flushed and pulled away.

“It’s hiding,” Zayn responded, very childlike.

“Zayn, please I need it,” Liam whined back.

“But you promised you wouldn’t shave! I like you with your beard!” Zayn protested as Liam pulled away from him and he jumped down from the counter.

“Love, who said I needed just to shave my face,” Liam laughed at the look of Zayn’s face just before Zayn ran out of the bathroom and came back no more than a minute later with the shaving cream before shouting out that he’d be downstairs.

Liam just laughed at his adorable boyfriend and continued getting ready.

______________________

“Niall, stop putting your feet on me, there’s a coffee table right in front of you,” Zayn complained as he pushed Niall’s stinky feet off of him as he cuddled with his favorite person, Liam.

“You’re no fun now! Besides, my feet like to be kept warm and you are warm!” Niall huffed as he rested his feet on the younger lad once again.

“You need a girlfriend,” Zayn huffed as he gave up and left Niall’s feet be. “And to wash your feet,” Zayn added as an afterthought. Liam laughed at that and pulled Zayn closer to kiss his forehead in adoration.

“I liked you better when you were quiet,” Niall breathed heavily and shifted himself so that he was sitting on his own feet to warm them up. “And I don’t need a girlfriend. They’re too much work.” Niall huffed and Zayn laughed at him.

“Did Harry text you yet to say when he was going to be here?” Zayn changed the subject, looking up at Liam who was scrolling through his phone.

“No not yet, why?” Liam asked as Zayn shifted nervously at his side.

“He’s supposed to bring my other present for you. I had it mailed to his parents’ house so that you wouldn’t open it by an accident,” Zayn blushed, ducking down to pick at his shirt bashfully.

“You’re adorable, you know that?” Liam smiled down brightly at his boyfriend. Zayn smiled and cuddled into Liam once again, resting his head subconsciously onto Liam’s chest to hear his heartbeat.

________________________

Harry didn’t text back for a while after that. In fact it took him about two and a half hours -- not that Zayn was keeping track, to text to tell them he was just ten minutes away.

Zayn was panicking.

He hoped this present would be perfect for Liam, seeing he had promised it to Liam a while back and Harry has helped him with everything. Keeping him motivated and happy when Liam wasn’t around, telling him embarrassing stories about Liam during breaks and helping Zayn out when he needed help, just to list a few things.

“He’s here,” Niall called from the door as he let their friend into the house. The first thing Zayn noticed was the think package tucked between his torso and arm as he pulled off his beanie and scarf. Then he noticed his ever shining smile, with dimples fully on display.

“You’ve been gone forever, Haz!” Liam joked as he walked over to greet his friend.

“It’s kind of part of being a singer, being stalked by everyone everywhere you go,” Harry halfheartedly joked as he handed Zayn the package so he could take off his jacket. “I believe this is for you,” Harry smiled and patted him on the back, “’m proud of you. Know go take Liam and show him his gift so that you can stop worrying,” Harry smiled at the newly established couple. Liam looked at Zayn questioningly as he grabbed his hand to pull him upstairs.

“Are you going to tell me what’s in this secret package now or am I going to have to keep waiting?” Liam smiled as Zayn walked them over to the bed and sat down, resting the envelope on his lap.

“I want you to just find out for yourself,” Zayn thrusted the envelope to Liam and watched as Liam quirked an eyebrow in wonder.

“You aren’t going to start rambling like you always do when you’re nervous?” Liam asked as he began to tear at the package carefully, seeing it was relatively thin and very light, making Liam wonder what the hell was in the mail package.

“Do you really want me to ramble right now?” Zayn snapped, his nerves getting to him.

“Not really, babe, just wondering,” Liam smiled and pulled Zayn closer to him to give him a tight squeeze.

“Open it,” Zayn groaned and pulled away, trying to keep them on track.

“Okay bossy pants,” Liam beamed and continued opening the package before pulling out a single piece of paper. Zayn watched Liam carefully for any signs of emotion as he read over the page. “Zayn?” Liam whispered.

“Yeah?” Zayn answered nervously.

“What is this?” He asked, reading over the paper once again as Zayn scooted closer to read and make sure it was the right thing. It was.

“It’s my high school diploma, Li,” Zayn answered. “Harry’s been helping me complete the online classes while you work in your study. I know I never officially walked across a stage in a cap and gown, but I finished all my classes and got all my credits. I’m officially a high school graduate.”

“Zayn,” Liam whimpered as he carefully placed the paper next to him to wrap his boyfriend in a hug, “I need a frame to hang that in my office. Zayn-” And then Liam was crying and Zayn had no idea what to do. Usually the roles were switched and Zayn was crying to Liam but now Liam was crying and Zayn had no idea what he was doing.

“Please tell me these are happy tears,” Zayn felt his own eyes dampen with tears.

“Zayn, I’m so proud of you right now. I can’t believe you did this,” Liam sobbed into Zayn’s t-shirt as Zayn began to cry too. They were a mess, a lovely loved-up mess.

“I promised you I would do it,” Zayn hiccupped and Liam pulled back to look Zayn in the face.

“Wh-Why are you crying?” Liam questioned, quickly starting to wipe Zayn’s tears.

“I’m just really happy right now and I love y-” Zayn looked up to meet Liam’s eyes at his little slip up. It’s not like they didn’t know they loved one another, they just haven’t proclaimed it yet.

“Zayn, I love you, too,” Liam smiled and pulled Zayn into a hug once again and kissed him sweetly.

“I love you, Liam,” Zayn smiled into the kiss, “Damn I’ve wanted to say that for a while now.”

“It’s good to know the feeling is mutual,” Liam smiled and pulled Zayn in for another kiss.

____________________

Later that night, once the couple had calmed down and Liam had framed Zayn’s diploma, they laid in bed and cuddled. Naturally, Liam laid on his back and Zayn curled into his side, his head resting over his heart, the beating of Liam’s heart calming him.

“Hey, Z?” Liam asked as he ran his fingers through Zayn’s hair. Zayn hummed in response. “Do you ever miss your parents?”

Okay, Zayn wasn’t expecting that.

“Uh, yeah, I mean sometimes but that’s normal right? I mean I miss my mom and dad all the time, but they made it clear they didn’t want me in their lives anymore. I just wonder about my sisters a lot,” Zayn sighed, nuzzling into Liam’s chest, running his hand lightly over Liam’s stomach where abs hide playfully under his shirt.

“I didn’t know you had sisters,” Liam stated, looking down at Zayn as he cuddled into him, avoiding eye contact.

“Yea, I have three. Doniya, she’s the oldest, older than me actually. She’s off at her last year of uni, now. I haven’t seen her in a while. It’s my two younger sisters I worry about. Waliyha is a little younger than me. She’s smart, too. And then there’s my little Safaa. They were both there when my parents kicked me out. Safaa was crying and so was Waliyha, but Safaa was literally wailing. She kept trying to run after me and hug me, so I couldn’t leave but my parents just kept grabbing her and yelling, telling her that I was a disgrace. Not only was I a druggie, but I was gay. Little Safaa was only nine, I don’t know if my parent’s made her hate me or something. I know Waliyha knows better than to let my parents control her thoughts and beliefs, but Safaa was so tiny. I really hope she doesn’t hate me now,” Zayn’s voice shook as he told Liam.

“Zayn, I’m sure she doesn’t hate you. Your sisters sound lovely. I still can’t believe your parents kicked you out,” Liam pulled Zayn up so that he was straddling his hips, his head resting on Liam’s shoulder.

“Muslims have very strict beliefs. You can’t be gay, you just can’t. Every person is like a preacher, so to speak, so everyone is supposed to live perfectly and being gay isn’t being perfect. Doing drugs, on the other hand, was something I promised my father at a young age that I would never do. As you can tell, I didn’t keep that promise,” Zayn whispered and Liam nodded.

“You know that I love you a whole lot, Zayn, right?” Liam questioned.

“Well I would certainly hope so,” Zayn teased and pecked Liam’s neck.

“I think we should try to find your parents, or maybe just your sisters so that you still have someone to talk to,” Liam stated and Zayn tensed.

“Liam, I don’t know,” Zayn confessed, feeling sort of sick thinking about it.

“We don’t have to do it right away. We can wait a while, until you are ready. I don’t want to pressure you,” Liam rubbed Zayn’s back soothingly.

“I don’t know, Li. I’ll have to think about it. I’m too sleepy to make promises right now,” Zayn sighed and rolled off of Liam and onto his side of the bed.

“I love you, Zayn,” Liam smiled as he cuddled up from behind Zayn.

“Love you, too, Li.”


	19. NINETEEN

Zayn woke up early from the sound of his and Liam’s bedroom door opening. Before he could force himself to open his eyes, a heavy, warm weight suddenly plopped onto him causing his to gasp.

“Ribs,” Zayn groaned and the weight was quickly gone.

“Sorry, mate. Happy birthday, you lame old fart,” Niall teased looking over at Liam, who had been forced to wake the same way as Zayn.

“Leave my boyfriend alone,” Liam groaned and threw his pillow at Niall, who quickly dodge the soft object.

“Oh, you’re just sore because I said it before you!” Niall teased, squeezing between the two boyfriends, “I hope you guys aren’t naked.”

“Niall!” Zayn laughed and turned so he was facing Niall and saw Liam pouting besides him.

“Don’t worry, I haven’t been woken up by moaning yet, so I don’t think anything has happened yet that involves getting naked. Am I right,” Niall spoke with a smirk.

“Dear God, save me now,” Liam groaned and threw his arm over his face.

“Er, okay. Niall, are you sure you don’t need a girlfriend?” Zayn questioned, fighting the blush he knew was painting his face.

“Positive, why?”

“You’re just really cuddly right now,” Zayn answered and gestured how Niall had rested a leg over Zayn’s and was currently playing with his hair.

“I just want to cuddle! ‘s nothing wrong with that!” Niall defended himself before climbing out of bed, being sure to ‘accidently’ step on Liam’s legs before landing with a soft oomf. “I’ll you too be for now, but tonight we’re going out! Zayn can finally drink! Thank the lord!”

Niall left shortly after and Liam turned and wrapped his arms tightly around Zayn. “I was supposed to be the first one to wish you happy birthday,” Liam sulked as Zayn nuzzled into Liam’s neck and placed a soft kiss to where his jawline blended with his neck.

“It’s okay, I think I can manage to forgive you,” Zayn smirked and leaned in to swiftly kiss Liam on the lips before throwing his blankets off and dashing to the bathroom before Liam could even wrap his head around what happened.

____________________________________

“So, when are we leaving for the club?” Zayn asked excitedly.

Niall laughed and grabbed a soda from the fridge as Liam showered later that morning.

“Zayn, we’re going full out tonight. It’s your first time going to a club! You’re eighteen! Legal! Liam must be wanking thinking about what you guys can do-”

“Niall!” Zayn gasped out, “Stop! I asked a simple question, what time are we leaving?” He tried to hide his blush by looking down and fiddling with the sleeve of his sweater.

“Aw, little Zaynie is blushing!” Niall cackled and patted Zayn on the back. “Don’t worry, mate, we won’t be leaving until around nine!”

Zayn sighed and stood up to go back to his and Liam’s room to wait for him to finish showering so that he could cuddle properly. Just as he walked into the room, Liam came out of the master bath wrapped only in a towel and Zayn felt his blush come back.

“Hey babe, what do you want to do today? I know we’re going clubbing but that’s not until later, so how would you like to spend the big one-eight?” Liam laughed and Zayn just walked up to Liam and wrapped him in a tight embrace.

“Stay like this,” Zayn mumbled against Liam’s bare chest. Liam laughed and wrapped his muscular arms around Zayn and held him close.

“Zayn it’s a bit chilly to walk around with no clothes, even if we are indoors,” Liam chuckled and rubbed Zayn’s back.

“Then put on some loose sweats and keep your shirt off and then I’ll forgive you for not wishing me happy birthday first,” Zayn smirked and leaned forward to kiss Liam’s smooth chin before backing up and frowning. “You shaved,” Zayn sulked and head butted Liam’s shoulder before detaching himself from his hunk of a boyfriend and began searching for sweats for Liam to wear and some boxers.

“It was starting to get itchy, babe. Don’t worry, it’ll probably be back by tomorrow. I’m a man, you know,” Liam smirked as Zayn handed him his attire for the day and pointed to the bathroom for him to get changed.

Yes, they have been dating for what seemed like forever, but in reality it’s only been about three weeks. As bad as Zayn wanted to see his boyfriend completely naked, he was still a little nervous about all the things that come after being naked with your boyfriend.

“Hurry up, Li, I miss you,” Zayn whined after a few minutes passed by.

“Give me a minute, I had to piss,” Liam called back and Zayn made a face at that but kept quiet. A few moments later, Liam walked out in his loose fitting grey sweats with the band of his boxers peaking over the waist line.

“Worth the wait,” Zayn giggled before making grabby hands towards his boyfriend.

“But I’m cold!” Liam whined.

“Then get your ass over here so I can cuddle you, dumby,” Zayn deadpanned.

“How old are you again?” Liam’s eyes gleamed as he looked down at his boyfriend.

“Shut up,” Zayn whined and cuddled into Liam’s chest.

__________________________

“What’s proper clubbing attire? Like it’s freezing outside are there places to put jackets or can I just wear a sweater. But then won’t I be too hot? Ugh, this is too complicated. Help me,” Zayn grumbled and plopped down on the edge of the bed. It was quarter after eight and the boys had ordered Chinese food, as Zayn requested it, and now it was time to get ready.

“They have a coat room at this club so you can just wear whatever you feel comfortable in,” Liam informed him as he slipped on a loose fitting black singlet over his ripped, faded blue jeans.

“Help me, please?” Zayn pouted.

“I feel like I’m your parent,” Liam sighed but walked over to Zayn’s dresser to start looking for potential outfits.

“You make me feel like you’re my dad sometimes so maybe that’s what you are,” Zayn laughed and Liam groaned. The more Zayn mentioned him being father-like, the more he liked the idea of it, but Zayn always seemed to be joking around when he would say it.

“Maybe,” Liam sighed as Zayn walked over to him to wrap his arms around him from behind.

“You know I love you, right?” Zayn whispered into Liam’s ear and held him closer. Liam smiled and made eye contact with Zayn through the mirror that was over Zayn’s dresser.

“I would certainly hope so,” Liam chuckled and turned so that he was facing Zayn.

“I love you,” Zayn stated simply before leaning forward to kiss Liam softly. His hands traveled north until they played softly with Liam’s short locks. Liam introduced his tongue first, making Zayn moan softly into the kiss and open his mouth slightly to taste Liam’s minty breath. The kiss was slow and sweet and lasted much longer than it normally would, but neither participant was complaining. Liam pulled back first and pecked Zayn sweetly on the lips once more before breathing out a breathy, “I love you, too,” before pulling away to grab Zayn a pair of black trousers and an ill-fitting black top that showed off much of Zayn’s chest.

“Wear this, with your black Doc Martins,” Liam insisted and Zayn nodded.

“Thank you, Li,” Zayn blushed as he walked to the bathroom and quickly got changed before walking back out to join Liam to find socks.

“Jesus, Zayn,” Liam gasped out as he took in his boyfriend’s outfit.

“Do you like it?” Zayn asked nervously, crossing his arms over his chest self-consciously.

“Babe, please. You look so fucking good, don’t ever take it off. You’re wearing the leather jacket Harry got you with that. Jesus, you look like some type of God or some shit,” Liam rambled and grabbed Zayn’s hands and made him do a little turn in front of him. “Shit.”

Zayn blushed, “A simple yes or no would have been sufficient.”

“Trust me, Z, you look better than a yes, by like a million and five times or something, I don’t know. Zayn you just look really good,” Liam rambled even more and pulled Zayn in for a kiss.

“Thank you,” Zayn blushed as they pulled away.

“Hey lovebirds! I hope you guys are ready because the taxi should be here any minute,” Niall called.

“Taxi?” Zayn questioned and Liam laughed.

“We’re partying tonight.”

_____________________________

“It’s so loud in here,” Zayn yelled over the music and people as he grasped Liam’s hand tightly.

“Once you get a few drinks in you, people tend to forget to lower their voices sometimes,” Niall laughed in response as they waited in line for the bouncer to check IDs. Niall went first, saluting the couple before shouting that he needed to get laid and not to wait up for him.

Zayn went next and the bouncer smirked at him and wished him a happy birthday before waving him in and then Liam who quickly attached himself to his boyfriend again.

“Do you want to get a drink first or go to the dance floor?” Liam questioned and Zayn smiled.

“I’m legal! I’m getting a pint!” Zayn giggled and threaded his arm throw his boyfriend’s elbow to secure him by his side. “There’s lot of people here! Is it always like this?” Zayn asked as they pushed their way to the bar.

“Nah, you’re birthday just ended up being on a Friday, it’s kind of like party central tonight,” Liam laughed and waved a bartender over to order two pints and slid him is card to pay.

“So it’s kind of like they’re all here for my birthday,” Zayn laughed and took a sip of the beer. He looked up at Liam with his dark eyebrows furrowed. “Isn’t it supposed to like, I don’t know, burn your throat or something? I thought alcohol did that,” He stated confused.

“Nah, Z, that’s just the hard liquor. You got to work your way up to that,” Liam suppressed a laugh and planted a kiss on Zayn’s fluffy hair.

“Oh, when can I try that stuff?” Zayn asked as they walked through the crowd to sit in an unoccupied booth.

“Later, let’s enjoy tonight before you get completely trashed, babe,” Liam smiled and took another big gulp of his beer. Zayn mimicked him with a smile.

The couple downed the rest of their beers and chased it down with one more before hitting the dance floor. Liam was pressed against Zayn’s back, hands on his hips as Zayn danced in his alcohol fuzzy mind to the quick beat of whatever the DJ was playing.

“Happy birthday, baby,” Liam whispered in Zayn’s ear before kissing down the column of Zayn’s neck and sucking a quick bite to where his neck met his shoulder. Zayn hummed and kept moving his hips as he leaned heavily against his strong boyfriend as he continued gently kissing his neck. He rolled his head back to rest it against Liam’s broad shoulder and smiled up at him once he pulled back.

“Can we go try some of that hard liquor or whatever you were talking about earlier? It’s time to celebrate!” Zayn giggled and pulled Liam back to the bar for some shots.

“What do you want, babe?” Liam questioned and once again pressed himself up against Zayn and wrapped an arm around his waist.

“What type of stuff is the good stuff?” Zayn asked as his eyes scanned the menu.

“There’s always a good whiskey or vodka shot, but you shouldn’t have too many of those. There’s also tequila and brandy which they will probably mix with something if you ask,” Liam guided Zayn and smiled.

“I want something fruity,” Zayn smiled and Liam laughed.

“Order some fruit brandy shots, they’re decent and will give you the sting that you seem to be so fascinated by. Here, I’ll order them,” Liam called a new bartender over and ordered two rounds of the shots and slid onto a bar stool and pulled Zayn to sit on his lap while they waited.

“You do one first,” Zayn said coyly as the bartender placed the shot glasses in front of them.

“Just pick one up and throw it back. Kind of treat it like the cough medicine you would get when you were younger. It’s not like beer at all,” Liam coached as he picked of the first colored shot glass and threw it back, making a face at the tartness and slight sting before licking his lips and gesturing for Zayn to do the same.

“Is it good?” Zayn asked and Liam nodded and watched carefully as Zayn threw one back and shriveled up his face in distaste. Liam let out a loud laugh and held Zayn close as he took another.

“How was it?” Liam smirked and Zayn smiled.

“Not too bad. Kind of liked the beers better though,” Zayn stated as he picked up another and leaned in to kiss Liam messily on the lips before taking the final shot. Just as they went to go back to the dance floor to finish the night out, Niall came to the bar laughing loudly with a girl by his side.

“Damn it! I missed his first shots!” Niall complained and patted Zayn on the back as he cuddled into his bear of a boyfriend.

“Leave him alone, Niall,” Liam said grumpily.

“Almost forgot you were such a possessive drunk, lucky for you it seems that Zayn is a cuddler,” Niall laughed. “Anyways, I’m off to the dance floor, bye mates!” Niall laughed and pulled the girl along with him who waved bashfully at the two.

“Let’s go dance, Li! I wanna have a few more shots first though,” Zayn pouted and Liam sighed.

“I don’t know Zayn, I don’t want you to have too much to drink and be hung over tomorrow,” Liam bit his lip.

“Please, daddy?” Zayn whined and fuck, Liam wasn’t drunk enough for this.

“Zayn,” Liam whined and shifted him so that he wasn’t sitting directly on his hardening diick.

“Just one more round? Pleaseeee?” Zayn continued to whine, which is something he rarely did so Liam just sighed and ordered another round and the two split it.

“I’m going to hell for this,” Liam sighed and guided Zayn back to the dance floor where Zayn basically just clung to Liam, who had no problem with it, and mumbled about how much he loved Liam and now he was so happy he was his boyfriend because he made him happy and cuddled him whenever and told he how he could never go to hell because he was too much of an angel for that shiit.

Zayn clung to Liam tighter when the music changed to something more upbeat and slowly rubbed his crotch against Liam’s and furrowed into Liam’s neck. Liam could feel Zayn growing hard but just kept holding him close and moving his hips with him. He was still hard from earlier when Zayn had called him daddy, but he had no problem with having blue balls tonight. Especially seeing Zayn was drunk and he wasn’t going to be doing anything like that with his tonight.

About a half hour later, Zayn was starting to get really giggly, which was a red alert that Zayn was tired and was going to be crashing soon, so Liam called up the taxi service and took Zayn outside to get some fresh air.

Zayn remained by Liam side as they rode home in the taxi and made their way to their room, which slight difficulty seeing Zayn had obviously been effected much more that Liam originally thought by the alcohol. Liam ended up carrying Zayn up the stairs and placed him on the bed before leaning down to kiss him quickly.

“I’m going to go get you a glass of water, you can change into some pajamas and then we can cuddle when I come back. Sound good, baby?” Liam cooed as Zayn blinked up at him through heavy lids. Zayn nodded softly and tried to pull Liam down to cuddle him right then but Liam shook his head. “Go get changed and I’ll be right back,” Liam kissed Zayn’s sticky forehead and went to the bathroom to piss and fill two glasses of water to try to prevent a hangover for tomorrow.

Zayn was just climbing back in bed when Liam came back and Liam smiled. “How you feeling, baby?” Liam asked as he handed him a glass of water and climbed into bed with him.

“Bit dizzy,” Zayn whimpered as he took a sip of the cold water and placed it on the night stand. He turned and clung onto Liam’s singlet he failed to change out of and nuzzled into his neck. “But, ’a feel better when ’m close to you,” Zayn said timidly.

Liam smiled down at his adorable boyfriend and placed his water on his bed side table before sinking down and holding Zayn tightly to his chest. Zayn shifted so that he could hear Liam’s heart beating steadily.

“Sometimes,” Zayn said sleepily through heavy lidded eyes, “I just gotta listen to your heart beat, ’cause it helps me calm down. ’t ’minds me that you’re a real ’uman being and like that I’m not dreaming. I ’ove you, so much, Li. ’wanna be just like you one day. ’Cause you’re so smart and handsome. Plus you’re so nice, and have pretty skin and hair. You’re just so pretty, Li…. I ’ove you,” Zayn mumbled sweetly and Liam felt a smile grow on his face.

Zayn’s breathing evened out shortly after that and Liam smiled whispering a final happy birthday before he allowed himself to falling into a dream-filled sleep.


	20. TWENTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun times to come ;)

“Babe?” Liam whispered as he woke up the next morning. Zayn grumbled in response and cuddled closer to Liam’s bare chest, his shirt seeming to disappear during the night. “How you feeling,” Liam asked softly as he ran his hand through Zayn’s greasy hair.

“’m head hurts,” Zayn whined as he pulled away from Liam so that he could make eye contact and pout his lips pitifully so Liam couldn’t deny getting him some medicine. Zayn plopped down after he saw Liam frown and his hand returned to his hair to smooth it out from sleep and sneakily feel Zayn’s forehead with the back of his hand.

“Hmm,” Liam hummed and pulled Zayn closer after realizing he had a slight temperature. “Do you want me to go grab you some pain killers or something? You feel a little warm, you might want to take a shower. Actually that might be a good idea seeing we were out last night,” Liam said as he slowly sat up and stretched, being careful not to move Zayn too much.

“That’d be nice,” Zayn nuzzled his face into Liam’s lap and sighed. “Maybe we could like shower together or something,” Zayn blushed, but turned his head to look at Liam’s face. “I mean we don’t have to but, ya know, saving water ya know?”

Liam bit his lip as he looked down at Zayn, “Why don’t I go grab you some meds from the medicine cabinet and we’ll go have some breakfast and then if you still want to, we can?”

Zayn nodded quickly, but regretted it soon after when his head started pounding. “Do you have a headache, too? Or is it just me?” Zayn grumbled as Liam walked to the bathroom to pull out a bottle and took out two tablets before walking back with a fresh glass of water.

“I think I’m good,” Liam smiled as Zayn pouted but took the medicine. “I should have cut you off a drink or two sooner but you were pouting and so adorable,” Liam bopped Zayn’s nose as he looked around for a fresh shirt, realizing the one he went to sleep with was half under the bed and sweaty.

“It’s not fair,” Zayn pouted. Once he realized what Liam was looking for he let out a groan. “Why do you always insist on covering up your body?” He grumbled as he stumbled out of his and Liam’s king sized bed, tripping over the duvet that he always managed to cocoon himself into during the night, leaving Liam with a few inches of the warm fabric. Once Zayn freed himself he grabbed at Liam, who watched with a smirk on his face, as Zayn proceeded to nuzzle into Liam’s chest.

“You do realize that its winter and I’m pale and it’s not cute, right?” Liam sighed as he wrapped his arms around Zayn and rested his chin on Zayn’s head.

“You’re perfect, shut up.”

“If I remember right, just a few months ago I was saying that to you,” Liam smiled down at Zayn.

“Yeah,” Zayn blushed and pulled himself free. “Race you downstairs? Loser has to make breakfast,” Zayn smirked and sprinted away leaving Liam with a small smile on his face.

_________________

After the couple ate breakfast that Liam cooked, they ended up back in their bedroom getting ready to shower.

“You sure you want to do this? I mean, there’s plenty of other bathrooms I could shower in if you change your mind,” Liam mumbled against Zayn’s skin as they stood in front of the dresser. Zayn flickered his eyes to meet Liam’s in the mirror and smiled.

“Yeah, I mean, I trust you,” Zayn smiled and turned around to face Liam so he could kiss him quickly.

“Okay, why don’t we get this show on the road. No offense, babe, but you really do stink,” Liam laughed as Zayn swatted at his chest.

“You’re mean,” Zayn sulked as he walked into the bathroom with Liam on his heels.

“You love me,” Liam smiled as he grabbed Zayn by his waist to pull him close.

“Sadly,” Zayn tried to hide his grin. Liam pouted at that and Zayn pulled away to start the water. He turned back to Liam and smiled, “How come you can grow facial hair so fast?” Zayn pouted as he rubbed his hands over Liam’s stubble, stretching his skin to make ridiculous faces.

“The honor comes with age, my young lad,” Liam smiled and pulled Zayn’s hands from his face so he could properly kiss his boyfriend. “I think we’re supposed to get naked now,” Liam smirked when he pulled away. Zayn flushed and looked down at his sock clad feet. “Hey now, if you want, I could still wear my boxers or something,” Liam sensed his discomfort and pulled him close once again.

“I think I would like that,” Zayn whispered, “I’ll keep mine on too, but we can still like shower together.”

“No problem, baby,” Liam pulled off his joggers, seeing he was already shirtless and barefooted, leaving him in his white boxers. Zayn followed his actions, pulling off his own joggers and loose tee followed by his socks. The couple stood still for a couple of seconds just staring at each other before Liam grabbed Zayn’s hand and pulled him into the shower.

Liam’s back faced the water to block it from hitting Zayn’s face and the water weighted down his boxers, causing him to laugh nervously and grab at the elastic as he went to adjust the pressure. Zayn smiled and pulled Liam away from the water so he could get his body wet so he could actually shower. They both took turns washing their own hair, Liam rubbing his hand through Zayn’s to ‘help.’

“You have such expensive soaps,” Zayn complained as he grabbed some organic soap from the shower rack and it slipped out of his hands. His eyes met Liam’s and they both burst out in laughter. “Don’t even think about saying that joke or I’ll never shower with you again,” Zayn laughed as Liam bent down to pick up the soap of the tile floor and soaped up his hands before setting it down on the rack again.

“Turn around,” Liam said simply and Zayn obeyed, turning to face the shower head so Liam could wash his back and shoulders first. Once Zayn turned around Liam remembered that white fabric turns see through when wet and he had to bite his lip to keep from groaning. The water made the thin fabric cling to Zayn’s arse so nicely Liam couldn’t hold in his groan once he started massaging Zayn’s back. Thankfully, Zayn let out his own groan at Liam rubbing his skin so gently it washed Liam’s own down the drain along with the water.

“By the way, I only buy the products I like. Besides most store brands make my skin get this weird rash and this soap doesn’t, so there,” Liam brought back the topic as he reapplied some soap to his hands to work his way down Zayn’s back to the slight curves of his side and rest on Zayn’s hips where the white fabric clung tightly to his hips.

“Well, it smells pretty good so I guess I shouldn’t be complaining,” Zayn replied before flinching as Liam slipped his hands under the waistband of his boxers and grabbed Zayn’s cheeks tightly in his hands before rubbing them. “Liam?” He asked nervously as he turned so he was facing him and Liam pulled him close, hands still down Zayn’s boxers.

“Your boxers,” Liam groaned out as he continued to massage Zayn’s arse. Zayn looked down to try to figure out what Liam was talking about before his eyes grew big and he flushed seeing the fabric had become nearly transparent in the shower.

“Oops,” Zayn whispered as he looked down at Liam’s boxers, which like Zayn’s, were now see through.

“Makes your ass look so good,” Liam groaned as he kissed at Zayn’s neck as Zayn wrapped his own hands around Liam to hold him tightly. He felt the outline of Liam’s cock against his tummy and sighed, feeling himself stir in his boxers.

“Someone’s happy about that,” Zayn chuckled as he stepped away from Liam, making his boyfriend’s hands slip out of his boxers. Liam frowned at that. Zayn smiled before turning around to give Liam a good look at his tight arse before gripping the waistband in his hands and slowly pulling them down. He heard Liam gasp behind him and he flushed. “Kind of pointless wearing them, isn’t it?” Zayn chuckled as he rinsed off his body, quickly washing off his privates, trying not to touch his dick too much seeing it was already a little excited. He didn’t hear Liam moving behind him anymore so he looked behind him as he rinsed the soap off his shoulders and smirked, “you can take yours off, too. ’S kind of uncomfortable anyway.” He smiled as Liam quickly striped off his boxers and threw them in the corner of the shower.

“Zayn?” Liam asked as he finished washing off and turned his head to look at him again, not wanting to show Liam his junk quiet yet.

“Yea?” Zayn smiled and bit at his bottom lip, a nervous tendency he had.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Liam questioned. Zayn nodded,

“Just don’t want you to see my… you know.”

“Zayn,” Liam laughed as he stepped closer to him to kiss him on the lips quickly. The angle was awkward for Zayn so he just turned so he could wrap his arms Liam’s neck and lean on his tippy toes to kiss him back. Zayn felt Liam’s hands travel south and he had to try to control his breathing so that he could continue kissing Liam. The older lad grabbed his boyfriend’s arse in his hands, continually massaging the skin in his large, rough hands.

Zayn groaned into the kiss as Liam licked his way into his mouth sweetly and continued the sweet assault on his ass. “I love you,” Zayn whispered out as Liam pushed Zayn up against the shower wall, away from the spray of the water he was too preoccupied with his boyfriend to worry about turning off.

Liam gently rocked his hips against Zayn’s causing them both to moan, the sensation new to both of them. “I love you more,” Liam whispered out as he moved one of his hands away from Zayn’s arse to gently tug on his dick. Zayn panted at the feeling of his boyfriend’s hand on his hardening dick. “Is this okay?” Liam asked, making sure Zayn was comfortable with the new sensations. Zayn nodded quickly, biting at his lip as he shut his eyes and Liam nibbled at his collar bones.

“I need words, babe. Want to make sure this is okay with you,” Liam whispered against Zayn’s tan skin.

“Yea,” Zayn whispered back as he allowed his own hands to move from his side to grab at Liam to pull him closer. Liam smiled against Zayn’s shoulder, continuing to gently tug at Zayn’s growing erection to get him completely hard.

“Wanna blow you,” Liam groaned as he moved his other hand away from Zayn’s arse to gently play with Zayn’s tight balls.

“Okay,” Zayn whispered as Liam pulled away from Zayn and kissed him quickly on the lips before sinking down to his knees to without another word and Zayn’s breathing picked up at the sight, getting slightly worried about his lungs for a minute before Liam’s hand gently touched his thigh.

“Just relax, babe, okay,” Liam’s voice had gotten deeper the more he was turned on and Zayn’s breath hitched as Liam’s kissed at Zayn’s hip and thighs. “Don’t want you to overwork your lungs, now. Just relax,” Liam said sweetly as he gently kissed the tip of Zayn’s erect cock.

Zayn’s body convulsed at the feeling, he had never gotten a blowjob before. He moved his hands to rest in Liam’s hair, ready to pull him away if things got intense or if he got scared. Liam looked up at Zayn and their eyes met. “I trust you, Liam,” Zayn said and that was all it took for him to gently lick all around at Zayn’s thick cock. Zayn moaned at the feeling, the steam from the heat of the water heating his body quickly. Liam gently took the head of Zayn’s cock into his mouth, sucking at it before slipping his tongue over the slit a few times. Zayn groaned and tightened his grip on Liam’s hair.

“You good?” Liam asked as he pulled away and continued kissing around Zayn’s cock. Zayn’s breathing had picked up and he slid his hands from Liam’s hair to his shoulders.

“Yeah, it’s just, it feels really good,” Zayn flushed harder.

“You can tell me if it’s too much, okay?” Liam said, palming at his own dick. Zayn hadn’t looked at his boyfriend’s dick since he pushed him against the wall, but he could tell it was quiet large, making Zayn nervous.

“Just a blowjob for now, yea?” Zayn said weakly as Liam licked up the underside of his dick.

“Whatever makes you the most comfortable,” Liam spoke before taking Zayn’s tip back into his mouth. He took him down about two or three inches and bobbed his head a few time, Zayn’s girth making it hard to moving his tongue around much. He popped his lips off of Zayn’s cock and gently took one of Zayn’s balls into his mouth and sucked.

“Ohhh,” Zayn groaned as his testicles contracted tightly and Liam pumped at his cock quickly. “Liam,” Zayn panted out the warning and Liam hummed around Zayn’s dick. Zayn’s come splattered against Liam’s face as he came, Liam smiling and licking at a bit of come off his lips before rubbing at Zayn’s thighs as he came down and slouched against Liam.

“Thank you,” Zayn breathed out, rubbing at his chest as he recovered. “Do you need help? I could, like give you a handie if you want? I don’t think I’m ready to give a blowjob yet,” Zayn blushed and Liam smiled as he got up from his knees.

“I would say yes, but I got a little too excited getting you off,” Liam blushed, motioning to his receding dick with a flush.

“Oh,” Zayn smiled as he leaned forward to kiss Liam, “We should probably rinse off again before we run out of hot water.” The boys rinsed off quickly, Liam making sure he got all of Zayn’s sticky come off his face.

“To be honest, I’m kind of in the mood for a movie day,” Zayn smiled as the couple toweled each other down.

“I feel the same way,” Liam smiled.

“Batman?” Zayn smiled as he pulled on a pair of loose sweats over his sensitive body.

“You know me so well,” Liam smiled and leaned down to kiss him.

“Only because I love you,” Zayn smiled and pulled Liam, still nude, from the bathroom and into the bedroom to cuddle and maybe exchange hand jobs later, once they’ve both recovered.


	21. TWENTY-ONE

Later that night, Zayn was cuddled up to Liam on the couch, the third movie was ending and the sun had long past set, the short hand on the clock scarily close to midnight. Zayn yawned as he arched his back before pulling out of Liam’s grip to sit up and rub his face.

“Li?” Zayn whispered through another yawn before turning and seeing his adorable boyfriend snoring softly, his chest raising and falling slowly. Zayn smiled and bent down to place a kiss on his forehead before getting up and heading to the kitchen. He was feeling antsy and he didn’t know why. He wasn’t sure if he was just over tired or if he was starting to feel sick again. He opened the fridge and pulled out the pitcher filled with fresh iced tea and poured some into a glass before walking back to the living room and cuddling back up with his boyfriend.

_________________

“Zayn, baby, wake up,” Liam’s voice flooded Zayn’s ears the next morning and he woke with a groan.

“What,” Zayn pouted as he rubbed at his eyes, trying to wake himself up faster.

“You kept mumbling something about being itchy? Do you feel okay? You’re kind of warm,” Liam asked, concerned.

“I don’t know, I felt kind of weird last night,” Zayn sighed and threw the light blanket off his body to stand and hug his boyfriend. “You fell asleep on me last night,” Zayn pouted as he cuddled into Liam’s chest.

“Sorry,” Liam chuckled, “you kind of wore me out yesterday. I don’t think I’ve gotten off that many times since, well, a long time.” Zayn blushed and pulled away from Liam.

“I had fun yesterday,” Zayn mumbled and Liam nodded in agreement.

“I’m willing to do whatever you’re comfortable with,” Liam hummed and Zayn smiled.

“I think I might need today to just relax and hang out with Niall, maybe you can call Harry over. I haven’t seen him in a while. Niall’s been a little preoccupied with that girl he met at the bar the other night to really bother with us,” Zayn said and Liam nodded.

“I think I could arrange that,” Liam nodded and then gingerly pried Zayn off of his body.

“I need so shower first, so you can call them while I make myself smell like organic soaps,” Zayn laughed before sauntering off to the bathroom. Liam smiled as he watched his adorable boyfriend prance away from him before pulling out his phone and shooting Harry a text asking him if he wanted to come over.

After the text sent, he walked to Niall’s room and knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Niall called from somewhere in his room and Liam opened the door and walked in.

“Hey, Zayn was wondering if you wanted to hang out with us today and just watch movies and eat pizza or something. I asked Harry if he wanted to come over,” Liam asked, walking over to Niall’s bed to sit down next to him.

“Yeah, Jesus, Liam. Why are girls so complicated? Being gay seems so much easier,” Niall pouted.

“Oh, Nialler, what’s wrong?” Liam chuckled as he pulled Niall close as he pouted.

“The girl I met at the club the other night keeps bothering me and blowing up my phone, so I asked if she wanted to meet up and watch a movie or something she said that she already had a boyfriend? Like what the hell?” Niall complained.

“Niall,” Liam tried not to laugh, “you met her at a club, what were you expecting?” Niall grumbled something in response before pushing Liam away from him.

“You’re an asshole. I hope you know that,” Niall groaned.

“Hey now, I’m just trying to be honest with you,” Liam smiled.

“Well I don’t want your honesty, I just want somebody to love me,” Niall pouted before tossing the covers off him and crawling out of bed. “You can leave now. I’ll be there to watch movies, but only because I like Zayn and Harry, you’re an asswipe.”

Liam laughed as Niall pushed him out of his room and locked the door. He walked to the kitchen to start the kettle for tea and grabbed two mugs from the cupboard. When he pulled down the second cup the baggie of white powder fell onto the counter, reminding Liam where he hid Zayn’s stash. He quickly put the baggie back in the cabinet and poured some tea into the two cups.

Zayn came down the stairs then in just a baggie shirt and his tight boxers, walking over and grabbing a cup of tea from Liam and smiling.

“Did Harry reply? I kind of miss him, haven’t seen him in a few weeks,” Zayn asked as he sat down at the kitchen table and looked back at his boyfriend.

“Let me check my phone,” Liam pulled his phone out of his back pocket and smiled. “He said he’s coming,” Liam looked up to see Zayn’s smile, “and that he was wondering if he could bring his new boyfriend.”

Zayn’s eyes grew wide and he nodded frantically, “Tell him yes! Tell him yes!” Liam laughed at his boyfriend’s reaction and quickly replied to Harry before grabbing the mugs and bringing them to the table for him and his boyfriend.

“So, you seem more excited to meet Harry’s new boyfriend than spending the day with me,” Liam pouted before taking a sip from his mug and sagging his shoulders. Zayn smirked and smoothly got up from his chair and plopped himself down on Liam’s lap.

“Baby,” Zayn practically purred, “that could never happen. You’re my favorite.” Zayn sat so that he was straddling Liam’s hips and he bent down to capture Liam’s lips with his own.

“You feeling better?” Liam smiled when they pulled apart. Zayn bit his lip and nodded and Liam laughed, “Good, don’t go getting me sick now.”

“Think I was just hungry or something,” Zayn mumbled after another quick kiss.

______________

“So when did Harry say he was coming? He’s not ditching, right?” Niall asked as he stuffed a handful of popcorn into his mouth and chased it down with a gulp of his beer.

“Niall, he said he had to pick up his boyfriend from work at one, it’s just 1:10 now,” Liam laughed as Zayn cuddled close to him and kissed his shoulder.

They had started a movie a few minutes ago and the previews were still rolling, the boys decided to just watch them seeing Harry wasn’t there yet with his new boyfriend. Just when the next preview ended Harry walked through the door they had left unlocked so they didn’t have to move when they arrived. All three heads turned to look at Harry, curious to meet his new boyfriend.

“Hi guys, sorry he’s just grabbing the beer. I brought some seeing I knew Niall would be around,” Harry laughed as Niall cheered and waved his current beer can in the air like a trophy.

Harry pushed open the front door once again and smiled before pulling in his boyfriend. Niall cheered when he saw the familiar face, as well as Zayn.

“You owe me fifty quid you dipshit! Told you they were fucking,” Niall shouted at Liam who looked surprised.

Louis blushed as he grabbed at Harry’s hand as they walked into the room and sat in the sofa across from Liam and Zayn.

“Wasn’t expecting to see you, Lou. Haven’t heard from you in a while,” Liam smiled as Harry casually put his arm around Louis to pull him closer.

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t exactly the best person the last few months and I know I was awful to Zayn, so I thought I’d wait to see how long he’d stick around before showing up again. It seems like he’s staying though, so I told Harry I’d come with him today,” Louis shrugged before leaning forward and grabbing one of the beers on the coffee table.

“Oh, well, yeah,” Liam scratched at the back of his head before looking over at Zayn, who was picking nervously at the crease of his arm and biting his lip. Louis seemed too distracted with what was on the tv screen to pay much attention to him after that, so Liam left it at that.

About ten minutes later, Zayn moved closer so that he was cuddled up against Liam, still worrying at his lip.

“Li?” Zayn questioned softly, not wanting to gain attention from the other boys in the room.

“Yeah, babe?” Liam averted his eyes from the screen to meet Zayn’s frowning face. “What’s wrong? Do you not feel well again?” Liam immediately went into parent mode and reached to gently rest the back of his hand against Zayn’s forehead and frowned. “You are quite warm, baby.”

“My head hurts and I kind of feel like I’m gonna get sick,” Zayn mumbled and let out an upset groan as the surround sound system made the war scene happening on the tv, sound real and even more loud.

“Do you want to go lay in the guest room down here? I could get you some ice water and maybe run you a bath if you want. I’m sure Harry and Lou won’t mind, they have a happily drunk Nialler to be entertained by,” Liam mused as Zayn burrowed into Liam’s shirt, resting his head against his broad chest.

“M’kay,” Zayn sighed and closed his eyes, “But only if you carry me, ’m still tired.”

Liam let out a laugh and nodded, “whatever my prince wants.” Zayn was about to protest the term of endearment but he felt his eyelids grow heavier and allowed himself to gently fall asleep to the rocking of Liam’s arms as he walked to the guest room.

_______________________

When Zayn woke next, he immediately busted to the bathroom, where he began emptying his guts almost immediately. He let out a pity whine before he felt Liam’s solid weight come up from behind him and gently rub his back as Zayn rested his heated skin on the cool porcelain.

“Baby, do you want me to get you some medicine? Does your head still hurt?” Liam asked softly as Zayn panted heavily.

“I don’t know,” Zayn whined before he felt his gut heave again and he found himself in the same situation as before. Tired and sick tears prickled in his eyes as he fell back into Liam’s arms and sobbed. “LiLi,” He whined as he wiped his gross mouth on Liam’s grey lounging shirt.

“I know, baby, but it’s better to get it all out of your system sooner, that way you’ll feel better faster,” Liam cooed as he gently rocked his smaller boyfriend as he cried embarrassed tears.

“I just want to feel better now,” Zayn whined before gagging and because he was wrapped in Liam’s arms, he couldn’t move fast enough and got sick all over the front of Liam’s shirt. Zayn immediately was mortified and started sobbing even harder.

“Shh, baby, it’s alright. It’s just a shirt, I can just change it. It’s okay, baby, I swear,” Liam promised before carefully pulling the soiled top off of his torso and throwing it to the side. “C’mere,” He lured Zayn back in with open arms.

Zayn bawled as Liam pulled him close. “I’m sorry,” Zayn mumbled out as he rested his flushed cheek against Liam’s chest.

“Why don’t I run you a bath? It could calm you down and cool you down,” Liam suggested and shifted so that he could reach behind he to twist the knob to start running the water. “Bubbles?” Liam questioned and Zayn nodded and gave him a shaky smile.

When the bath was about three-fourths full, Liam helped Zayn out of his clothes and into the bath. Zayn mumbled about the water being ‘fucking freezing, I can feel my dick shrinking,’ but Liam just smiled and ran his hands through Zayn’s long locks.

Liam washed Zayn’s hair and scrubbed his body with a loofa before draining the tub and wrapping Zayn tightly in a fluffy towel.

“Let’s get you in some lightweight clothes before you fall back asleep. Come on, babe,” Liam guided Zayn back to the guest room before leading him to the bed and grabbed a baggy pair of boxers and slipped them on. Liam scooped him up before leading up to their bedroom. He walked by the living room, where Louis and Harry were casting worried eyes at the couple. He smiled softly as he headed up the stairs.

Zayn flopped down onto the bed and shut his eyes.

“I’ll go grab a sick bin in case you feel sick later. I’ll be right but try to rest up,” Liam ran his hands gently down the frame of Zayn’s face before walking into the bathroom to get a glass of water and a sick bin. “If you don’t feel better by this time tomorrow, I’m taking you to the doctor’s,” Liam stated as he climbed in bed next to Zayn, who was still trembling.

“I love you,” Zayn mumbled, sleepily into Liam’s chest, resting his head right above Liam’s beating heart.


	22. TWENTY-TWO

It was the next day and Liam and Zayn found themselves sitting in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. Zayn had woken up with a high fever and Liam wasn’t taking any chances with his fragile boyfriend an drove him to the office as soon as Zayn was dressed in new sweats and a warm sweater that gave him sweater paws and showed off his collar bones.

“Liam,” Zayn whined as he burrowed his head into Liam’s shoulder, “I’m fine. It’s probably just the twenty-four hour bug or something.”

Liam sighed and held Zayn closer in the waiting room. The room was empty, besides the mother with a baby buggy rocking back and forth in front of her, small cries being heard from across the sterile room.

“The bug would be out of your system by now, babe. Besides, you’ve already been sick five times, your fever should have broken by now,” Liam answered. They only waited a few more minutes before they were called back, Zayn dragging Liam back with him so he had company. Besides, both boys know that Zayn isn’t going to want to explain what’s wrong to the doctor.

“Okay, so what seems to be the problem today?” An older nurse with kind eyes asked warmly as she prompted Zayn to sit on the examination table. The paper crinkled under Zayn’s weight and he grimaced.

“Fever,” Zayn grumbled and looked at Liam like he was a traitor for making him speak up. Liam smiled at him and moved the spare chair closer so that he was next to the table and could hold Zayn’s hand.

“And he’d been sick a few times last night and has a headache,” Liam filled in and the nurse smiled.

“Okay, I’ll go inform the doctor and he should be here in a few minutes, it’s a slow day today,” the nameless nurse smiled one last time before walking out and closing the heavy wood door behind her.

“Liam,” Zayn sulked after the door closed.

“What’s the matter, baby?” Liam cooed as he caressed Zayn’s cheekbones and kissed his heated forehead.

“I don’t like it here. I feel like everyone judges me,” he responded and Liam bit his lip to keep from laughing.

“And who is judging you? Please don’t say that nice nurse because she seemed happy to help,” Liam smiled and Zayn frowned.

“I don’t know, I just feel like the doctor is going to be rude and is going to judge my body,” Zayn bit at his lip and Liam smoothly ran his thumb over Zayn’s bottom lip to keep him to tearing the thin, pink skin.

Just then there was a knock at the door and a man in a white doctor’s coat walked in with a smile, “So I hear someone doesn’t feel too great today.” Zayn blushed and waved at the doctor with a shy smile.

“That’d be me,” Zayn stated as the doctor looked at Liam with furrowed eyebrows.

“Friend or boyfriend? Clearly not brothers,” The doctor smiled and Liam smiled.

“Boyfriend, worried boyfriend, because his guy,” Liam jabs his thumb in Zayn’s direction, “clearly isn’t well and didn’t want to come visit you.”

“Wow, way to throw me under the bus, Li,” Zayn blushed and the doctor laughed.

“So the nurse gave me the run down, fever, headache, nausea, vomiting, am I missing anything else?” The doctor smiled.

“That sounds like everything,” Zayn mumbled as the doctor grabbed a thermometer and told Zayn to open up. The doctor hummed while he waited for the machine to beep and then nodded.

“Definitely a fever, I hope you’ve been drinking lots of water. Wouldn’t want to add dehydration to the list of things wrong today,” the doctor smiled and Zayn nodded.

“Yeah, Li made me drink three glasses of water before we left the house this morning,” Zayn smiled and gently pushed Liam’s shoulder from where he was sitting.

“Good, good, good. Well, I guess I should ask if you still feel nuisance now, and what you had for dinner last night.”

“Yeah, I mean, kind of. Not horribly, like I don’t think I’m going to throw up any time soon. But uh, Liam ordered pizza so that’s what we had last night,” Zayn answered and the doctor nodded.

“Well that cancels out food poisoning seeing your boyfriend doesn’t seem ill,” The doctor stated and Zayn nodded, “I just want to examine your stomach before I send you off with a prescription.” Zayn laid back, the paper beneath him crackling and tearing where his boots were. The doctor gently pulled up his shirt to this chest and began pressing into Zayn’s abdomen, starting at the top then moving to the sides and then to the lower area above his hips.

The doctor hummed as his cold hands pressed against Zayn’s heated skin causing Zayn to flinch and Liam to gently card his hands through his boyfriend’s locks.

“Do you feel any pain in any one spot?” The doctor asked and Zayn shook his head.

“Just kind of feels weird around my belly button area,” Zayn said and the doctor nodded, and began concentrating his hands in that area before Zayn flinched at one spot and he stopped.

“Is it tender or does it just hurt your stomach?” The doctor asked and Zayn groaned.

“Just kind of makes me want to throw up, to be honest. If you’re going to keep doing that I might need a bucket,” Zayn groaned and the doctor nodded before pulling the patient’s shirt back down and writing it down in his notes.

“Zayn do you use drugs?” The doctor asked suddenly and Zayn froze.

“’m trying to stop, haven’t used in probably three weeks,” Zayn answered honestly, feeling his cheeks burn and Liam rub his arm soothingly.

“He’s been trying to stop and he’s been pretty successful so far,” Liam added, proud of his boyfriend.

“How often did you use before you stopped?” The doctor asked, not judging, just trying to help Zayn out.

“Uh, like every day or every other, depending on how often I could get my hands on it,” Zayn answered honestly.

“And you stopped and would just haven’t used since?”

“Well, I stopped before for like a week but then I relapsed and I haven’t had any since,” Zayn responded.

“I think I know what the problem is. Okay, so when you use drugs or anything really, any addiction, you have to wean yourself for short periods of time to do it healthily. A smoker can’t go from smoking a pack a day to not smoking at all, it’s extremely dangerous. 

“Taking it out of drugs, coffee, some people drink three or four cups a day and then when they suddenly stop they get awful headaches and feel sick. I think that’s what’s going on with you. My suggestion is for you to go home and use just a small amount, enough to get the edge off. It should get rid of your fever and headache. If it doesn’t I want you back in here tomorrow, okay?

“I would recommend going to some type of recovery group. They’ll help you every step of the way and do it in the safest way possible. It seems like your boyfriend really loves you and wants what is best for you,” The doctor smiled.

“Okay,” Zayn nodded and Liam squeezed his hand.

“I want to hear back from you, so here’s my email. I don’t think I’ve told you my name, but it’s Dr. Emerson. I’ll do get you a card with the group information on it and I’ll be back,” Dr. Emerson said with a smile before leaving the room.

Zayn turned to Liam and smiled softly, “I love you, you know.”

“Yeah, I know I’m the best,” Liam smiled and stood up so he could hug Zayn. “We’ll go home and I’ll give you some and then we’ll stay in my room so we don’t bother Niall, okay?” Liam whispered into Zayn’s ear.

“Do I have to go to those classes?” Zayn frowned and Liam smiled.

“I’m not going to make you do anything, but I want you to get better,” Liam answered and Zayn sighed.

“I’ll go to a few, but if I don’t like it, I’m not going back,” Zayn stated and Liam kissed his cheek.

“Whatever you’re comfortable with, Z.”

Dr. Emerson came in a few minutes later with the card and his email and sent them on their way. When the couple got home, Liam went to grab the baggy from the kitchen cabinet and a glass of water before following Zayn upstairs and helping him get situated.


	23. TWENTY-THREE

A few days had passed since Liam took Zayn to the doctor and they were trying to plan out how often Zayn should use and when to sign up for classes. Zayn was searching through his pockets trying to find the card Dr. Emerson had given him at his appointment. He found it in his coat pocket and brought it over to Liam and sighed, “Liam you promised if I don’t life it after a few weeks I can stop going.”

“Babe, we haven’t even figured out when the sessions are and you’re already trying to bail on this?” Liam groaned and looked over the card. “Look, it says there are weekly and monthly dates and that they can do private sessions if it makes you more comfortable. Babe, I’m not trying to force you to do this, but I think we should take this seriously. I know I promised in the beginning that I could help you single handedly, but I think we’ll need some professional help.”

Zayn sighed as he rested his head on Liam’s shoulder so he could glance at the card to check for times. “Could we maybe, make a private session tomorrow? Preferably sometime at night so that if I hate it, it won’t ruin my day,” Zayn grumbled and Liam smiled softly.

“Of course, babe, whatever you’re comfortable with.”

____________________

The next day Liam and Zayn found themselves parked in front of a small red brick house with little Christmas reindeer displayed at the base of the steps leading to the oak front door.

“Do you think they know Christmas was nearly a month ago?” Zayn grumbled as he climbed out of the Range Rover and his boot clad feet landed in the snow.

“Oh Zayn, don’t be so negative. They’re probably frozen to the ground,” Liam sighed as he clasped Zayn’s hand. “Ready?” He asked as Zayn stood looking at the building with his bottom lip between his teeth. He nodded softly and allowed Liam to guide him into the office and tell the receptionist Zayn was here for his five o’clock appointment.

Zayn chose to sit in the corner of the waiting room and was picking at a loose thread on his coat. “Liam,” Zayn whispered as he took a seat next to him. Liam looked over at him and smiled. “Will you come on with me?” He asked nervously and Liam sighed.

“Z, you know I’m not allowed in there with you. I can’t be there every step of the way, even if I want to. It’s not going to be bad, he’s probably just going to talk to you about scheduling usage and your net meeting and your history. As long as your honest you’ll be fine,” Liam tried to sooth his anxious boyfriend.

“I know, it’s just, you’re my rock and you help keep me calm. What if he asks about my parents because I’m so young? Or about how I got my stuff? He could put me in jail, Liam! Liam I can’t go to jail!” Zayn answered frantically.

“Zayn?” A middle aged man called from the door net to the receptionist. Zayn’s eyes grew wide as he timidly stood up and walked away from his love. The man smiled at him and guided him to a room that was decorated cozily. Zayn sat on a fluffy love seat similar to one him and Liam have in their living room.

Before the man could even introduce himself Zayn blurted out, “Are you going to put me in jail?”

The man let out a startled laugh, “Excuse me, what?”

“Because I did drugs and sold them and was underage?” Zayn rushed out. His hands tightly gripped his knees as he sat up straight, eyes out the window.

“Zayn, I think we should probably get to know each other before we do anything rash. Let’s start out with a simple question, are you using now?” The man asked.

“What’s your name?” Zayn asked, avoiding the question. “I mean, you know my name, but I don’t know yours, that’s a wee bit odd isn’t it?”

The man laughed again and replied, “Dr. Quinn, but you can call me Ralph, if you would prefer.”

“Okay. Nice to meet you Ralph, but uh, no, to answer your question. Just nervous,” Zayn answered. He looked around the room, trying not to look at the older man who sat at the desk.

“It’s alright, Zayn. Why don’t you tell me about yourself a little bit? Just so I can try to help you out the best,” Ralph smiled and pulled out a pen from his button down shirt.

“Well, um, my name is Zayn Malik and I use crystal meth. I, uh, discovered it at a party and I guess I have an addictive personality because I was hooked from then on. My parents, they, um, kicked me out when they found out and I lived on a bench in one of London’s parks. Of course, my dealer found out I had no way of paying for my own drugs so he told me if I helped do some deals, he’d let me have some. I was addicted, so I did it. Meth kind of controlled my life until one day, about two months ago. Liam, my, um, now boyfriend, saw me on one of the benches and made me stay at his place because it was snowing. Yeah, he’s sort of the reason I’m here,” Zayn watched as Ralph wrote down what he said.

“How old did you say you were when you started?” He asked and Zayn blushed.

“Like, sixteenish. My parents kicked me out week after my seventeenth birthday, so yeah,” Zayn blushed.

“When was the last time you used?”

“Yesterday,” Zayn flushed.

“Do you go to Dr. Emerson?” Ralph questioned.

“Yeah, he was the one who recommended you. I went to him after I got really sick because I tried stopping cold turkey,” Zayn bit at his lip.

“How often do you use now?” Ralph quizzed.

“Um, I was going to ask you how often you thought was safe. Last time I went like a week and a half but then I got sick, so,” Zayn looked up and met Dr. Quinn’s eyes.

“How often did you use before?” He asked.

“Like every day to every other day before I started living with Liam and then it switched to once every couple days before I stopped for a week or so,” Zayn responded.

“I think every five or six days should be safe. But of course, you don’t want to try for too long because as you found out, your body reacts to not having meth in your system,” Ralph replied. “How often do you think you’ll be coming? Of course, you can stop and go as you please, but normally we wait until you can go weeks at a time while being clean.”

“Um, I was thinking maybe seeing you in a week and then after that going to every two or three weeks. But, if you think I should come more, I can,” Zayn answered and bit at his lip.

“I think that sounds good. If you feel the need, you can always stop by. If I’m not here, my colleague, Dr. Steinbeck, usually is here. I think that’s all for today, Zayn. If you have any other questions feel free to email me. I’ll see you next Thursday,” Ralph smiled and Zayn quickly left the room to find Liam.

“Liam,” Zayn rushed over to his boyfriend as threw himself into his arms.

“How was it baby,” Liam asked, rubbing Zayn’s back soothingly. Zayn snuggled closer to Liam, ignoring the fact that the receptionist was less than ten feet away, and just sighed.

“Good, ’sn’t bad,” Zayn mumbled in response before pulling away and looking up at Liam. “I think you were right, I could see myself talking to Ralph on a regular basis.” Liam laughed in response before asking,

“Who’s Ralph?”

“My therapist, person thingy. Awful name, right?” Zayn laughed and Liam smiled.

“Ready to go home?” Zayn nodded and the two walked out hand in hand.

__________________

 

 

When the boys got home after going to some restaurant for dinner, they found a note from Niall saying he was spending the night with a friend and not to wait up for him.

Liam and Zayn found themselves cuddled up on the sofa in the living room watching some boring movie before bed time. Zayn was sitting on Liam’s lap, kissing at his neck and collarbones. “Liam?” Zayn asked softly, looking up at him with his long eyelashes and high cheekbones.

“Yeah, baby?” Liam replied, looking down at his beautiful boyfriend.

“Could we, um, you know,” Zayn bit at his lip, “go all the way?” Zayn’s ears turned pink and he burrowed into Liam’s neck, not wanting to be rejected by his boyfriend.

“Zayn,” Liam frowned, “Baby, look at me.” Liam gently grasped Zayn’s chin and lifted it so that they made eye contact.

“’s just that, I’ve been really horny lately and hand jobs and blowies don’t always get the edge off and it’s not that you’re not great at them, Li, you’re fucking amazing, it’s just-”

“Z, baby,” Liam laughed softly, “of course I want to have sex with you. You’re so incredibly attractive and so strong and amazing, it would be an honor to penetrate you.” Zayn burst out in laughter when Liam actually said penetrate out loud.

“Li, please don’t say it like that or I’ll never want to have sex with you,” Zayn laughed and Liam smiled.

“Shut up and kiss me, then,” Liam smiled before pulling Zayn in for a sweet kiss. Zayn’s lips were always slightly dry, but the two sets fit together perfectly. The younger boy shifted so that he was straddling Liam’s lap and began grinding down.

“Jesus,” Liam groaned out as Zayn rubbed against him and trailed kisses down the side of his neck, leaving small marks as he went. Liam’s hands glided down to cup Zayn’s perfect little perk arse. Zayn moaned as Liam grabbed at his cheeks through his jeans.

“Upstairs, naked,” Zayn groaned out before quickly climbing off Liam’s lap and hastily going to their bedroom.

“Zayn,” Liam whined at the loss of contact as he followed him into the room but stopped as soon as he saw his boyfriend sprawled out on the bed in just his boxers. “Fuck,” Liam breathed under his breath and quickly threw off his dress shirt and unbuttoned his pants, trying to relieve pressure on his straining cock.

“Liam,” Zayn whined as he watched his boyfriend strip down to his birthday suit before climbing on top of him. “Shit, babe you’re so hot,” Zayn moaned as Liam nipped and sucked at his collar bones and sucked on his nipples. Zayn writhed as Liam licked over the sensitive nubs and bucked up against Liam’s hard cock.

“So responsive, baby,” Liam groaned as his lips traveled up to capture Zayn’s bruised and pink ones. “Let’s get you out of these, why don’t we,” Liam smiled and quickly helped Zayn out of his plain black boxers. Liam quickly grasped Zayn’s length and groaned, “Always so hard for me, baby.”

“Only for you,” Zayn gasped out as Liam rubbed his thumb over his tip to spread the precome that was gathering to help him glide easier. Zayn reached down to grasp Liam’s length loosely and Liam bucked up, hissing before gently batting his hand away.

“It’s only about you tonight,” Liam smiled and leaned up to kiss Zayn once again. “Hands and knees okay, babe? Or do you want to lay on your back while I stretch you out?” Liam asked softly, kissing and sucking at Zayn’s ear softly.

“Um, which way will hurt less?” Zayn asked, his inexperience showing.

“Aw, babe. I’ll try to make it as painless as possible, but it’s a weird feeling. Whichever way you choose, I’m going to take my time, there’s no rush,” Liam kissed Zayn once more before gently rubbing his thumbs over Zayn’s nipples once again.

“Eh, uh, do hand and knees, but I want to be able to see you when we actually, you know,” Zayn blushed and Liam smiled.

“No problem, baby. Let me just grab some lube and a condom and I’ll be right back. Just relax, okay?” Liam kissed Zayn briefly before pulling away and walking to his dresser, his cock weighing heavily between his hips. Zayn watched and bit his lip.

“Are you sure it’s going to fit?” Zayn asked nervously as Liam kneeled on the bed and placed the supplies on the bed. Liam smiled and sighed.

“I’ll make sure to stretch you nice and good, okay Z? I don’t want to hurt you, but it is quiet uncomfortable at first,” Liam apologized before motioning for Zayn to turn so he was on his hands and knees, pert little bum in the air. “Such a nice arse, Z,” Liam groaned as he slipped a pillow under Zayn’s hips to give him some comfort.

“’s not that nice, Li,” Zayn grumbled and Liam gasped, grabbing his bum tightly in his hands.

“It’s wonderful, baby. Love it so much, can’t wait to be inside you,” Liam groaned.

“Then get the show on the road, Liam, my dick is starting to hurt,” Zayn whined. Liam smirked as he settled behind his boyfriend, grabbing the lube and pouring some on his fingers before warming it up.

“Just relax, baby, it’s gonna feel weird,” Liam spread Zayn’s cheeks apart to reveal Zayn’s tight little hole and he groaned, his dick growing impossibly harder. Liam brought his index finger up to gently rub at Zayn’s ring of muscles before gently pushing in knuckle deep, reaching down with his other hands to slowly wank Zayn.

“’s weird, Liam,” Zayn groaned as Liam slowly pumped himself in and out before carefully inserting a second finger beside his index. “Ah, Liam,” Zayn whined as the stretch, his walls impossibly tight around Liam’s fingers. For a few moments Liam wondered if he was going to be able to stretch Zayn enough to take his cock.

“Just relax,” Liam tried to soothe him, bending down to kiss softly at the cleft of Zayn’s arse, his lips traveling down to suck little bruises over Zayn’s pert bum. Liam gently rubbed his fingers, looking for Zayn’s bundle of nerves. He knew he found his when Zayn let out a high pitched moan and bucked back against Liam’s fingers. Liam gently rubbed his fingers against the nerves once again and Zayn swore out, “fuck.”

“Just one more, okay babe?” Liam asked before gently pushing in another finger and Zayn groaned.

“It feels so weird. Good, but kinda hurts,” Zayn whined as Liam rubbed against his prostate again. Liam pumped his fingers a few more times, trying to stretch Zayn the best he could before gently removing them with a slick pop. Zayn groaned at the loss of contact and turned his head back to look at Liam.

“Lay on your back, Zayn,” Liam guided and moved the pillow so Zayn’s arse was easier to access. “Can’t wait to be inside you,” Liam groaned as he tore open the condom package and slid it on easily. Zayn watched silently, breathing heavy before whining as Liam spread Zayn’s legs and situated himself between them.

“You have to tell me if I’ll going to fast or what not, okay babe?” Liam asked as he lined himself up to Zayn’s stretched hole.

“I love you,” Zayn smiled, “I trust you.” He pulled Liam down into a kiss as Liam gently pushed his head into Zayn. His gasped as the tightness and Zayn pulled back from the kiss to bite at his lip.

“’m sorry, baby,” Liam kissed over Zayn’s scrunched up face with soft kisses as he panted heavily. Liam carefully glided in until his balls were gently swinging against Zayn’s arse cheeks. Liam waited until Zayn’s breathing evened out before slowly pulling out and pushing back in, trying to find Zayn’s bundle of nerves to make it feel better.

“Liam,” Zayn squeaked out as Liam pushed against his prostate, “harder, Li, fuck, harder, babe.”

Liam wasted no time gently picking up speed, pounding into Zayn as he rubbed at Zayn’s sensitive nipples and kissed him deeply. They pulled apart shortly after, panting into each other’s skin, as Liam fucked into Zayn and Zayn scratched down Liam’s back in pleasure.

“Li, Li, fuck, I think I’m gonna come, fuck, Liam, harder,” Zayn moaned and Liam quickly grasped his length in a firm grip and began pumping until he felt Zayn’s body seize up and Zayn moan high pitched before going lax and Liam quickly pounded into Zayn, chasing his own orgasm.

“Zayn, fuck, baby, you’re so tight, fuck,” Liam shouted as he spilled into the condom before pulling his sensitive dick out and quickly pulling the condom off and placing it on the bedside table. He laid down beside Zayn and wrapped him in his arms.

“Felt really good, Liam. Thank you,” Zayn mumbled as he kissed Liam’s chest. Liam knew he should keep Zayn awake so that they could shower, but he was tired and just wanted to cuddle up with his favorite person. Besides, they had no plans for the next day, so they could spend as long as they wanted showering, or even taking a warm bath.

_________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE AN IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR YOU BROS,  
>  mpreg?


	24. TWENTY-FOUR

At the beginning of March, Zayn found himself sprawled across the chaise in Dr. Emerson’s office. It wasn’t a scheduled appointment, but after Liam found Zayn in the midst of a panic attack Liam had called the office and drove him over. Zayn hadn’t been improving much since the middle of February as far as recovery goes. In the past three weeks he’d been relapsing almost every other day and Liam was beginning to worry that maybe therapy wasn’t enough for Zayn and he needed professional help in a place where Zayn was controlled completely and on strict schedules.   
Zayn didn’t say much of anything for the first few minutes, he was just focusing on his breathing. His brain was in overload. He knew that Liam was considering sending him off somewhere to get help, somewhere Liam wasn’t. Zayn knew that if he went anywhere his boyfriend wasn’t he would never recover. Liam was the only reason he had made it this far and made sure he was happy. Sure Zayn might not have wanted to be dragged from the house and brought to Dr. Emerson’s office late on a Monday night, but he knew he needed to talk to someone who knew more about things on a medical level.  
“Can Liam come in?” Zayn asked suddenly. Dr. Emerson smiled and nodded.  
“As long as you’re comfortable having him hear things you might not want him to.”  
Zayn quickly climbed off the couch and walked to the waiting room. “Li, can you come in with me?” He asked softly. Liam’s eyes flashed with worry and he quickly stood up and wrapped him arms around him.  
“Yeah, baby, of course. Let’s go,” Liam smiled down before gently kissing Zayn’s forehead and let Zayn guide him back to him room. Liam smiled at Dr. Emerson as he guided Zayn into the bright room.   
“You must be Liam. I talked to you over the phone earlier,” The doctor smiled at Liam as he walked in. “It seems that Zayn hasn’t improve much since our last visit.”  
Liam took in a shaky breath and nodded, “He’s been using a lot more and if I don’t give in to him he has massive panic attacks like today, except today he never even mentioned that he was struggling.” He looked down at Zayn, who was now cuddled up into his arms, head resting against his chest and arms like steel wrapped around him.   
“Zayn? Would you like to explain why you are having these panic attacks?” Dr. Emerson asked after a few minutes of silence. Zayn looked up at Liam and frowned before moving his head from Liam’s chest and resting it on his shoulder instead.   
“I’m scared,” Zayn answered before turning his head to try to hide his face in Liam’s neck.   
“Scared of what?”   
“Letting people down. I thought this was going to be helpful and I was going to be able to do this, but know that I know when I specifically have to do something or wait, I freak out and mess everything up,” Zayn murmured.   
“Zayn-” Dr. Emerson started but was cut off.  
“I’m not done. But, uh, when I see Liam he always looks so hopeful and I don’t want to disappoint him at all because I love him. But then I mess up and then I feel like shit and then next thing I know, I’m having these panic attacks and it scares the shit out of Liam, I see it, and I can’t control myself. I just want to be normal,” Zayn’s eyes started to tear up at the end and Liam instinctively pulled him closer to his body.  
“I see,” Dr. Emerson glanced at how the two boys were sitting and smiled. “You know, Zayn, there are people who have different types of personalities. Some people are naturally born with addictive personalities. Usually they can find themselves addicted to anything, it doesn’t have to be a drug. It’s kind of like how some people become alcoholics while others don’t when drinking the same drinks at a bar. Now, I read this article a few days ago, it was interesting, so you might want to pay attention. Anyway, I was reading this article and this magazine interviewed this ex-addict. In it he was talking about how he used small addictions to non-life threating things to overcome his drug addiction.   
“They also interviewed a former sex addict, I know you aren’t a sex addict, well, as far as I know you’re not, but anyway she told the same type of story. It was some type of experiment, if you will, where they tried to find out if people had addictive personalities. This girl – the sex addict, she talked about how in her childhood she suffered from really bad depression. She started having sex and realized that it made her feel good, so she became addicted. Her addiction was deteriorating her relationship with her parents and she realized she wanted to change. She started doing things that made her happy. She distracted herself with painting and writing. She said that she doesn’t have sex nearly as much, and when she does she doesn’t just do it because she wants to find happiness.   
“Now, I bet you’re wondering why I’m telling you this, but I think this is important. I think that instead of doing this schedule thing you should try to find something else to get addicted to, so to speak.”  
Zayn looked at Dr. Emerson with wide eyes. “But, what if that doesn’t work? Would you have to send me to rehab or something?”   
“Zayn, I have a feeling that this might work. You told me when you first came, that you used almost every day until you met Liam. You said that your using started to slow down when you too became even closer. I think you might have found your new addiction already,” Dr. Emerson smiled at the bewildered couple before telling them that he had to leave for a new appointment.   
__________________  
“Do you know what he was talking about today?” Zayn asked Liam as the cuddled on the couch.   
“Who?” Liam asked as he played with Zayn’s hair. Zayn’s head was rested on Liam chest, as always, listening to the steady beat of his heart, as Liam switched between different tv stations to try to avoid commercials.   
“Dr. Emerson,” Zayn looked up at Liam with his impossibly long lashes and Liam smiled softly.   
“Well, he was saying that you don’t have to follow a strict schedule anymore because it was hurting you more than helping you. He also was talking about how you should find little addictions that aren’t harmful,” Liam stated it like it was obvious.   
“I know that part silly,” Zayn laughed as he shifted his body so that he was straddling Liam’s waist innocently. He picked at the buttons on Liam’s shirt nervously before looking up at Liam’s confused expression. “At the end, right before he left, he said that I already found my new addiction… do you know what he was talking about?” Zayn stilled his hands once he realized he had started unbuttoning Liam’s white button up while talking and flushed.  
“You got me there, baby,” Liam smiled and pulled Zayn down for a soft kiss. “I have no idea, I mean he couldn’t have possibly been talking about me. But that’s all he kept mentioning. But the one thing I do know is that if you don’t stop biting your damn lip I’m going to have to protect it for you,” Liam smirked as Zayn lot his bottom lip go with a soft gasp.   
“Liam!” Zayn squealed as Liam flipped them over on the small couch so that Liam was now covering Zayn’s body completely. Liam smiled and kissed Zayn’s forehead sweetly before gently trailing kisses all over Zayn’s face as he squirmed under him.   
“You’re so beautiful, Zayn, I can’t even begin to tell you,” Liam smiled as he gently cradled Zayn’s face in his hands. He looked over Zayn’s sharp features. His dark eyebrows and honey eyes, his sharp cheekbones and chiseled jawline. His impossibly long eyelashes and blushed cheeks. And of course, he usually thin lips with plumped with Zayn’s nervous habit of biting them. Zayn’s blush grew as Liam continued staring at him like he was some type of God.   
“Kiss me,” Zayn said after a few moments, “Kiss me, please.” And who would Liam be if he denied his love? Liam ignited the kiss with a sweet passion he had never experienced with anyone else.   
The kiss grew more passionate as the seconds ticked by, and before they knew it they were stripped down to nothing and panting their love into one another’s mouth.  
______________  
“God damn it, you two!” Niall cursed as he walked into the house. “Put some damn clothes on! This is a living room, not a bedroom!”   
The couple jumped apart and Niall laughed as they rushed to cover themselves.   
“You two are worse than rabbits, I swear to god. Hope you too are being safe, we don’t need any babies any time soon!” Niall pranced off to his own room as Liam and Zayn both stared at each other in horror.   
They forgot protection.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi bros,  
> I transferred this story from my Wattpad account (louissolos) and wanted to switch to ao3 because it is so much easier to update.  
>  Hopefully this will be fun and I'll be switching over my other stories sometime soon.   
> :)


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